


Red Sky At Morning

by Serie11



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Australia, Bottom Castiel, Cas and Anna are twins, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Fairy Penguins, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel gets a coffee shop, Gabriel is therapist, I really love penguins okay, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Lots of Australia!, M/M, Melbourne, Michael and Lucifer are not good people, Organized Crime, Penguins, Ranger!Dean, Relapsing, Sam has problems okay, Slice of Life, The Impala gets a makeover, There's a lot of cute stuff and also a lot of angsty stuff, Top Dean, Vet!Cas, kind of, surfer!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-14
Updated: 2015-10-14
Packaged: 2018-04-26 08:35:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 70,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4998004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serie11/pseuds/Serie11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester’s life at twenty five isn’t exactly what he expected; his brother’s in the wind, his pro-surfing career is far behind him, and he has a steady job caring for the little penguins of Phillip Island. The peace in his life shatters when Dean meets Castiel, who is running from a past that he doesn’t want to acknowledge, into a future that he knows cannot last. As things start to spiral out of control, Dean has to ask himself what really matters, and whether sailors were right – if a red sky at morning really does mean danger after all…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Milchtee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milchtee/gifts).



> So! This is my addition to the 2015 DDCB. You all should check out the rest of the fics over there - they're awesome. 
> 
> A few things before we get started... 
> 
> Yes, this is in Australia. Yes, I live in Australia. Yes, Phillip Island is a real place, and the Penguin Parade is a real thing that does happen. And is really, really cute. If you are anywhere near Melbourne, any time in your life, I highly recommend going and seeing all the little penguins. It's worth it.  
> Most of the places in this fic are real - some, like Ellen's bar, aren't, but most are. The events that happen in this fic aren't real, however. 
> 
> Thank you to [Milchtee](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Milchtee/pseuds/Milchtee) for the awesome art!! I really, really, really, really love everything that you came up with :D
> 
> Thank you [flightlesscas](http://flightlesscas.tumblr.com/) for your beta work... This is a lot better, and reads a lot smoother thanks to you.

_ _

 

_March_

The wind whips through Dean’s hair as the buggy goes over a bump in the badly maintained fire trail. He leans back in the seat, keeping his eyes peeled for any wildlife that he could hit accidentally. He’s already had to navigate over two different burrows, and he has no idea how the people he’s following managed to avoid them, but he’s grateful for it. The penguins inside would not have survived a car driving over them.

The summer heat is just beginning to seep away. The Australian summer doesn’t impact the island as much because it’s down south, but it still manages to make things uncomfortable. Dean wipes away a trickle of sweat that’s threatening to run into his eye and blur his vision, cursing the inept tourists who had made their way to this part of the island, even though there’s a clear ‘No Entry’ sign at the start of this track. The only reason the track exists is to make sure fire trucks could get out to this part of the island if the bush caught fire.

He catches a glimpse of the four-wheel drive as it crests the hill in front of him and then disappears. Dean growls softly to himself as he speeds up slightly, wanting to catch up as quickly as he could.

His phone starts ringing and he swears as he shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls it out, knowing that he shouldn’t be using it while driving but needing to answer when he sees that it’s Charlie’s number.

“I’m still chasing these idiots,” Dean opens with. Charlie sighs over the phone.

“We need you back here. Those people from the animal welfare group are here and they’re demanding to see you.”

“Tell them I’m busy doing _actual_ work,” Dean says, shoving the phone between his ear and shoulder to have both hands on the wheel.

“They’re saying that they’re going to stop people from coming in tonight and they’re not going to move.”

“Fuck,” Dean mutters. “I’ll get back as soon as I can, but I need to stop these guys first, okay?” The four wheel drive has stopped, and Dean can see two figures standing next to the car. As he gets closer, he sees that they’re arguing over a map that’s laid out over the hood. His jaw tightens in annoyance when he sees one walk around without looking at the ground at all, heedless of the burrows he could be stepping on.

“Okay, but hurry.” Charlie disconnects the line and Dean shoves that problem to the back of his mind, needing to deal with these two idiots before thinking about the problems that awaited him back at the resort.

Dean throws the phone down on the seat next to him and stops the buggy, channelling his irritation at Charlie’s information at the two men who are looking at him like they had had their hands caught in the cookie jar.

“Good evening,” Dean says, fighting to keep his voice level. “Do you two know that this is a restricted area and that only rangers and the fire service are allowed on this road?”

One of the men takes a step forward. His hair is blonde, and when he speaks, it’s with a British accent. “That’s exactly what I was trying to tell Cassie. We’re on the wrong road,” he says, the second sentence obviously directed towards the good looking, dark haired man behind him. He looks disgruntled, and Dean doesn’t know if that’s because of the way the blonde man said his name, since he’s willing to bet that it isn’t ‘Cassie,’ or because he seems to have terrible navigation skills.

“I was certain that this was the right turn off,” he says stubbornly. Dean sets his jaw and tries to breathe calmly.

“Well, it isn’t. You two are in danger of destroying the native wildlife’s homes and you could possibly kill a penguin if you stepped in the wrong place. This road goes through one of the more populated areas of the island, and it’s a miracle that you haven’t hurt anything. You both need to leave immediately.” Dean is sure that his eyes are flat and hard by the time he’s finished speaking, because both men are shifting uncomfortably, and neither are meeting his eyes.

“Very well,” the dark haired one says, glancing up at him. Dean narrows his eyes slightly at the vibrant blue colour, but shakes it off quickly, trying not to notice his slim waist and tousled hair. “Balthazar, we should go.”

Balthazar sighs and goes to walk back to the driver’s side of the door. Dean sees the burrow a second too late, and his cry of warning comes a second before Balthazar’s screech of alarm.

“Damn it,” Dean mutters, rushing over to yank Balthazar’s ankle out of the hole he had caused. There’s a small chirp and Dean thrusts his hands into the loose soil, trying to find the penguin trapped inside. His fingers touch feathers and he gently grips the bird, pulling it out of the death trap its home had become. It’s only a chick, and Dean hopes that its parents weren’t in the burrow with it. He puts it down and reaches in again, trying to see if there are any other penguins inside. He has his arm in there up to the elbow, but he can’t feel anything else, so he reluctantly pulls out and goes to grab one of the small penguin containers that he keeps for this exact reason. The penguin starts to freak out when he picks it up, but he only holds it for a second before depositing it inside the carrier and closing the lid, knowing that the dark would reassure the penguin.

He glares at Balthazar as he stands with the carrier in his hand. “And _that_ is why you need to leave, before you manage to kill off our penguin population one chick at a time.” Balthazar is sitting on the ground, rubbing his ankle with the other man crouched next to him. Dean fights the look of derision he knows is on his face. “All you need to do is follow me out. Surely you can accomplish that.”

The two men nod, and the blue eyed man helps Balthazar up. Something in the touches they share sours Dean’s mood further. It’s obvious that they care deeply about one another, and it would be just his luck that any guy he finds attractive would already be taken. He shakes the thought out of his head. They were just tourists. He doubts he’ll ever see either of them ever again.

Dean gets back into the buggy after making sure that neither of them step on any more burrows, turning it around and waiting for the others to do so as well. It takes them longer, and ‘Cassie’ is driving now.

He starts driving, taking the track that he knows doesn’t have any burrows on it. When they get to the main road once more, the four-wheel drive drives off without thanks or even stopping to wave at him. The penguin sitting in the carrier behind him chirps, and he swears at the disappearing four wheel drive under his breath.

Fucking tourists.

~*~*~*~

Dean goes straight to one of the only veterinary clinics on the island. It’s specially equipped to deal with the problems of the local wildlife, from wombats who had been hit by a car to penguins caught in fishing nets. It has everything needed to take care of the chick and Dean will give it to them to take care of before he has to go back to the resort and deal with the problems waiting for him there.

He pushes open the glass door that marks the entryway to the clinic and walks in. There are a few people in the waiting room at the front, all of whom look him over and then to the carrier he has in his hands. There’s a large cage on the lap of one man, and the green parrot inside lets out a ridiculously loud squawk, making Dean wince and turn his head away from the piercing sound.

He knows the woman behind the counter, and he puts on a charming smile as he puts the carrier on the counter.

“Hey Jess,” he says, smiling affectionately at the blonde woman. She smiles back at him and gestures towards the carrier on the bench.

“Hey there Dean. What have you got for me today?”

“Some dickheads were down on the fire trail that goes over to the south side of the island and one of them stepped on a burrow. I managed to pull this little guy out in time, but the burrow’s gone, and there weren’t any parents around.”

Jess frowns at the box as the green parrot assaults his ears again. “Okay, we’ll take him in. You heard from Sam?”

Dean feels his stomach clench as he shakes his head. Jess tightens her lips but nods sharply.

“Thanks Jess. You should come over on the weekend, yeah? I’ll make dinner and we can catch up.”

Jess shrugs slightly. “I’ll call you if I’m free.” Dean nods.

“Awesome. Look, I have to go. The animal welfare protesters are outside the resort again.”

Jess shakes her head and sighs. “Seriously? I reckon they just took up a grudge against you.”

“Charlie told me that they’re demanding to see me, so they might have,” Dean mutters. “Anyway, I’ll see you later.”

Jess calls out a goodbye that’s lost in the bird screeching again. Dean pushes his way out of the clinic and gets back into the buggy, heading towards the outskirts of town and where the resort is. Phillip Island is small – Ellen never understood why John, and then Dean and Sam, wanted to live here. She had always said that Phillip Island was fifty k’s south of Whoop Whoop, which wasn’t exactly fair – Phillip Island was fifty k’s south of Melbourne. It wasn’t in the middle of nowhere. One of the biggest draws is the penguin season, where you can come and get up close and personal with the fairy penguins that call the island home. The protests had started last year but had really started gaining momentum over the last few weeks, causing Dean’s work life to become a living nightmare. He has no idea what they’re going to pull out of their pockets next.

He pulls up to the resort and parks in the spot near the entrance that is saved for the buggy that the rangers drive. He can see Charlie talking to several people with signs, obviously trying to keep calm, but Dean can see the tension in her drawn up shoulders.

“Hey,” he calls out, successfully drawing their attention to him. Dean sees Charlie let out a silent sigh of relief as Dean is mobbed by protesters.

“Do you think it’s right to take advantage of the penguins to make money for yourselves?”

“Do you think you could harm the penguins by doing this?”

“What happens to a penguin if a camera flash goes off near their eyes?”

“Hey!” Dean shouts. The people there all quiet, and Dean sees more than one phone pointed at him, probably recording. “The penguins are protected to the best of our ability, and the money that we make from the resort goes to funding the conservation projects in place. You know that our first priority is to the penguins and their health, and that you have no reason to be here, so get lost. Now!” He yells, when they don’t move. They all scatter, and Dean runs a hand over his face before approaching Charlie slowly. The red head is standing near the entrance, and Dean can see the first visitors starting to approach, now that the mob of protestors are gone. As it gets later in the day and dusk approaches, more will come, until they are swarming with people who had come from all over the world to see the little penguins.

“Thanks,” Charlie says. “How do you manage to do that?”

Dean shrugs. “They’re just uni kids who are looking for something edgy to do. I’m sure it will die down eventually, but right now animal rights are the big thing, and they want to see something being done wrong close to home. They probably chose this place because of all the publicity and tourism that it gets. Probably hoping to make the paper.”

“Probably,” Charlie says. “Did you find those tourists?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods. “One of them stepped on a burrow though.”

“Oh no!” Charlie exclaims in dismay. “Were there any penguins inside?”

“I pulled out a chick, but couldn’t feel any others. I already dropped it off to Jess, so the little guy should be completely fine.”

Charlie nods, her faith in Jess complete. “Hey, are you _sure_ she wouldn’t mind being asked out? I know you said so, but you didn’t really look convinced. I don’t want things to get awkward.”

Dean lets out a breath, thinking about his friend. “Jess needs to get out, even if it’s only for one date. The last person…” Dean winces.

“Wasn’t it Sam?” Charlie asks softly. Even though she doesn’t know exactly what went down, she knows that Dean’s brother is a sore spot. Charlie had been dealing with her own issues at the time, and after she had found the time to sit down with Dean again, everything had happened, and Dean wasn’t really willing to talk about it.

“Yeah,” Dean says gruffly. “It was. And she’s still not over it, even though she hasn’t seen Sam in nearly a year.”

“And he still hasn’t called?” Charlie ventures, looking worried.

“No,” Dean says sharply. “And I think she needs distracting, so even if she says no when you ask her out, it might remind her that other people are out there.” _She needs to get over Sam,_ he wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to say his brother’s name.

“Okay,” Charlie takes a deep breath, like she’s steadying herself. “I’ll talk to her. Thanks,” she says, smiling at him.

The doors behind them open, and Dean looks over Charlie’s shoulder to see Benny coming out of the resort. “Are you two done out here, or should the rest of us just keep slavin’ away while you gossip?” He comments dryly, his accent curling around the words. Dean still isn’t used to hearing the American accent, even though Benny has been here since before he was hired.

“We were just scattering the kids,” Dean tells him. Benny snorts.

“They’re still nosing around? I would’ve thought they’d be gone by now.”

Dean shrugs. “I think they’ve got a vendetta against Dean,” Charlie says. Benny’s mouth twists into a smile.

“That they might. Charlie, you’re on check out tonight, aren’t you?”

Dean tries to hide his smile as Charlie nods. Benny is the highest person on the food chain around here. He answers to the foundations that they get charity from, as well as the government when they’re asking about conservation efforts, but apart from that he generally manages to run things by himself. He’s also the one who organises most of the shifts in the resort, and he would know that Charlie had check out tonight. He’s just reminding her.

“I’ve got the Parade,” Dean volunteers, and the other two glance at him.

“Good to know you’re not completely useless,” Benny says. Dean rolls his eyes, the sarcasm not getting past him, and Charlie chuckles.

Dean follows both of them inside, sighing as the air conditioning washes over him. There are a few people already in the gift shop, looking to get their souvenirs purchase before the Parade. It’s a good idea, since there’s usually at least a hundred people crammed into the shop after the Parade at this time of year. It’s not as popular now as it is in December and January, but there are still a lot of people hanging around until early April.

Charlie goes over to open up her checkout, and Dean winds his way over to the lookout over the bay. The sun is setting, casting a golden glow over the ocean that echoes the fiery red in the sky. He’s supervising the Parade tonight, but Adam is going to be actually speaking to the people who have gathered there. Dean will be there to make sure that everyone obeys the rules and doesn’t do anything that could hurt the penguins. It is one of his favoured jobs, since he could enjoy being outside and watch the penguins while still getting paid.

He goes out to the boardwalk to start making his way down to the stands. Adam is already there, talking to some of the people who are already gathered. Garth is hovering near the front of the stands, looking out to sea as if he could see some penguins already. The sun is setting, so it probably wouldn’t be long until the first penguins come out of the ocean.

Dean talks to some of the people who are standing near the edge of the railing closest to the ocean, telling them some of the history of the island and some facts that he knows Adam wouldn’t be talking about in fifteen minutes. They’re actively listening, but that changes when someone lets out a shout and Dean turns around to see one penguin near the breaking waves. He smiles, knowing that he had lost his audience, even though there wouldn’t be any penguins coming out of the surf for a while. He walks over to the side where he starts directing people to sit in the stands, organising them so that they’ll all have a good view of the beach. He can see the smaller platform of the Penguin Plus tour a few hundred metres away, out of the pool of light that the giant spot lights surrounding the stand bleed across the beach. They aren’t on yet, but they would be soon.

The chattering slowly fades away as Adam starts talking, using the portable microphone to make sure that all of the people can hear him.

“Welcome to the Penguin Parade! Tonight you’re going to see some of the wonders of Phillip Island, the little penguins, as they waddle up to their nests, full of food for their chicks. March is the end of their breeding season, and soon they’re going to start moulting, which means that they’ll stay holed up in their burrows, but luckily you’re here early.” There’s a muted laugh, and Adam continues the speech that he’s completed hundreds of times. Adam is usually the one that runs this part of the tour and everyone usually leaves him to it, Benny assigning him this shift regularly. Adam likes it, Dean knows that, even though he sometimes swaps out with someone if he’s having dinner out.

As Adam talks, some penguins hop out of the waves, their captive audience muttering and pointing as each penguin appears. Dean smiles into the wind, lowering the sunglasses on his head and covering his eyes to stop the glare of the setting sun. He grins at the people sitting on the stand, letting his enjoyment of the time and place eclipse everything else in his head, his love of the ocean and the penguins in it bringing out a smile.

All too soon Adam finishes his spiel and the people crowd forward, trying to get as close to the penguins as they could. They wouldn’t get too close here, since they aren’t that close to the beach, but they could still see the small penguins. Dean’s approached by a few people wanting to clarify a few facts, and he begins talking again, enjoying the small crowd he gathers far more than having to deal with the few hundred people all at once.

With the sun set, only the floodlights are lighting up the beach. Dean casts a look upwards, but the lights are drowning out the stars and he can’t see the Southern Cross. There are less people around now, most going back up to the resort to avoid the mosquitos that are beginning to bite Dean. Garth nods at him, and after he finishes answering a question a woman had, he starts to slowly walk back up. Garth will make sure that no one tries to venture off the path and try for a one on one with a penguin. Adam goes up half an hour later, and Dean stays until there aren’t any more people on the stands before going up the path, following the last people. By then it’s nearly nine, and he goes up to turn off the floodlights after locking the gate that goes down to the grandstand.

Charlie flashes a smile at him from where she’s still serving customers buying merch. Dean loiters in a corner, watching the people milling around the gift shop to make sure that nothing dodgy is going on. By the time the gift shop is ready to close, there are only a few people left, and Dean goes around to them to quietly tell them there’s only five minutes left until they’re closing. The buses have mostly left, and Dean watches the last one pull out of the large car park. He lets out a breath and turns to see Ash and Annie starting the clean-up. Charlie grins and walks over to him, hooking her arm around his.

“Ready to head home?”

Dean nods. “Yeah. You need a ride?”

“That’d be nice,” Charlie tells him. They bid everyone goodnight and head out. His Jeep is resting in the place reserved for staff cars and he opens the door to slide in. 

Charlie gets in the passenger seat, and looks over to him as he starts the engine. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

Tuesday and Wednesday are Dean’s days off, and Wednesday’s and Thursday’s are Charlie’s. “I’m not going to party too hard without you,” Dean says, smiling slightly at his own joke.

Charlie sniffs at him. “You make fun of me, but then on my days off you blow me off! I swear Winchester, you never do anything fun with me.”

Dean smiles at her when he pulls up outside her house. “We’ll do something this week, I promise.”

She stares at him. “That’s what you _always_ say,” she tells him disapprovingly.

“I mean it,” he says as she closes the door.

“You always say that as well!” She shouts after him as he pulls out onto the road. He winds down the window to wave back at her before heading out to his house. Charlie lives in Ventnor, and it only takes fifteen minutes for Dean to get to his house in Rhyll. His place is near the beach, and he sets his alarm to just before sunrise so he’d be on time in the morning.

He gets ready for bed and climbs in, tiredness from the day dragging at him. His eyes slip closed, and he falls asleep without any wayward thoughts coming to plague him and keep him from sleep.

~*~*~*~

_Beep beep beep be –_

Dean presses the snooze button on his alarm, blinking sleepily. He’s only had about six hours of sleep, but that’s a good night for him. He pushes back his sheet and slides out of bed, covering his mouth as he yawns. He eats some Nutri-Grain – the breakfast of champions – and piles everything he needs into the back of the Jeep. By the time he’s sliding his surf board onto the rack on the Jeep’s roof the sun is beginning to rise, tinting the sky orange.

When he arrives at Woolamai, the sun is up. He coats what skin isn’t covered by his wetsuit in sunscreen before picking up his board and heading down the stairs to the beach. He feels himself start to relax at the feel of the sand under his toes and he waves to some of the people he recognises who are already on the beach.

His board is his pride. Swirling black and silver give way to intricate designs and patterns of pentagrams and symbols, feathers and runes. The initials DW and SW are carved near the tail fin, something done when Dean and Sam had been on better terms. His board is his soul, and the symbols on it all mean something to him, even if they don’t to everyone else.

He lets out a breath before running into the water. The power of the ocean surges around him, and the wind is up, so that means that the waves are high and begging to be ridden. Dean obliges, making sure that no one else is around and trying to take the same wave as him before he starts paddling back towards shore.

He feels the wave catch the board and slides his hands back to stand, the motion practised and smooth. It’s not a bad wave for the first one of the day, and he focuses on his balance, staying upright as the water rushes around him.

The freedom of the water surrounds him and he feels the stress from the week draining away, leaving him calm and collected. He leaves the beach just before eleven, the sand and waves filling up with people by then. He flicks water out of his hair and carefully slides his baby into her cover and then onto the rack on top of his jeep. He takes a minute to towel off before putting another towel on the driver’s seat to soak up any extra water on the way back to his house. By the time he gets back he’s basically dry, and the salt on his skin is starting to irritate him.

He takes his board inside and takes the time to wipe the salt and sand off her before storing her properly in the coolest part of his small house. With that done, he goes into his bathroom and strips off the wetsuit and gets into the shower. He sets the water temperature low and washes everything off, feeling refreshed and relaxed from his time out on the waves.

By the time he’s put everything away from his morning’s activities, he’s starving. Dean opens the fridge to stare at the very bare essentials.

 _I could drink the milk,_ he thinks, only to look at the best before date and cringe. He tries to ignore the fact that he drank that milk this morning as he pours it down the sink and grabs his keys, resigned to a trip to Cowes for this week’s shopping.

Because it is midday on a Tuesday, there’s nearly no people around, and he enjoys a traffic free trip, even though there’s not really much traffic on the island anyway. That’s reserved for whenever he makes the journey into Melbourne.

He pulls into the Woolworths car park (Coles is for losers, in Dean’s opinion, and Aldi is for the people who plan their shopping trips a few weeks in advance) and check that he has his list in his pocket.

He’s walking down the aisles, putting things as needed into his trolley, when he spots him.

The dark haired man from yesterday – ‘Cassie’ – is standing in front of the two minute noodles, staring at two different cups in his hands seriously, like it’s the most important choice he will make in his entire life. Dean can’t help staring, eyes drawn down his body. It doesn’t help that the man is wearing jeans that look two sizes too small for him, and the button up shirt he’s wearing is vibrant blue. Dean can imagine it bringing out the colour of his eyes.

The man looks up, and Dean yanks his eyes away from him, grabbing the first thing his hand touches on the shelf next to him. It’s a pack of Tim Tams, what the hell, Dean doesn’t even like the biscuits.  But he can’t put them back now, because the man is walking over to him, still holding both noodle cups.

“Hello,” he says, voice rough.

“Hi,” Dean replies, not sure what to say.

The man seems to be waiting for more of a response than that, so he seems thrown off slightly. “Did you get the penguin that Balthazar stepped on to the vet?” He asks, after a few awkward seconds have passed.

“Yeah. I delivered it to Jess, so it should be fine now. As soon as she gives it the bill of health it’ll go down to the Wildlife Clinic to be released back into the wild.”

The man nods. “My name is Castiel,” he introduces himself calmly.

“Dean,” Dean offers back. Castiel nods slowly.

“I apologise, Dean, for what happened yesterday. I did not read the map correctly, and Balthazar and I became lost as a result of it. We were both worried about what would happen to the penguin.”

Dean quirks his lips up in a short smile. “As long as you don’t do it again, it’s fine. We all make mistakes.”

Cas nods. “But I am glad that the penguin will be okay.” Dean feels his opinion of Cas rise slightly. Anyone who worries about penguins is someone who is probably an okay person. “Balthazar was complaining about his ankle, which is why I drove off without saying thank you for guiding us out.”

Dean shrugs slightly. “It’s fine. Is he alright?”

“He should be, but I have deemed that he should not walk on it, so he’s quietly fuming at home.” Something in Cas’s eyes lights up lightly at that, and he huffs out a small laugh. “He doesn’t like being restricted to his room.”

Dean can understand that. “You staying long?” Dean asks, because he has the air of a tourist about him, and the way he’s trying to decide between the noodle cups tells him that he’s not here to stay.

“Balthazar and I are touring several countries, staying a few weeks in each. We still have a week here, but it’s the last stop before we go home.” Cas’s expression darkens for a second before he shakes his head slightly.

“Like a romantic getaway,” Dean says, before wanting to shoot himself. Christ, why had he said that?

Cas tilts his head. “Not really, since Balthazar is my brother. We both just wanted to get away from home after completing our degrees.” Cas doesn’t look like he wants to keep talking about it though, so Dean changes the subject, trying not to feel relieved that Cas and Balthazar aren’t dating.

“Well, it’s a good place to visit,” Dean says. “I’m surprised you chose to come here though.”

“Balthazar wanted to stay in Melbourne, but I wanted to go somewhere quieter, and I chose here.”

“Have you been down to the Penguin Parade yet?” Dean asks, wanting to know if he had missed Cas in the press of people when he had been down there.

But he shakes his head. “Not yet. We were planning to go on Friday, but I think Balthazar wants to head home early. He twisted his ankle when he fell into the burrow, and he’s already seen everything he had wanted to in Melbourne. I was the one who wanted to see all of the nature reserves here on the island.”

“What tour?” Dean asks, only because he wants to make sure that Cas is getting the best experience. Yeah, that’s the only reason. It has nothing to do with the curve of Cas’s lips or the rumble of his voice.

“Penguin Plus, I believe,” Cas says. Dean feels himself smile for a second.

“That’s the best one.” The general admission is for people who hadn’t done their homework, and the viewing platform is for people who don’t care about the penguins at all. The Plus tour is the best one. “I’m taking it on Friday,” Dean hears himself say before he can stop himself. He tries to avoid the urge to hit himself on the head, because he has no idea who is scheduled for Friday and he has no idea if they’ll swap with him.

“Oh,” Cas says, obviously surprised. “I suppose I’ll see you there.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, I guess. See you then.”

Cas goes back to looking at the different noodles and Dean takes his trolley and slowly leaves him standing there, not paying attention to any of the products surrounding him. He reaches for his phone and calls one of his more frequent contacts.

“Dean?” Charlie asks when he picks up. “I’m not meant to be talking on my phone at work.”

“Can you check and see who’s leading the Plus tour on Friday?” Dean asks. “Please?”

Charlie mutters but a few seconds later there’s the rustle of paper being turned. “Annie’s leading, with Caleb as the extra. Why?”

“Can you check with either of them to see if they’d swap with my shift on Friday? What is my shift on Friday?”

“Yours is… Lock up. Neither of them are going to want to swap with you on that.”

“Shit,” Dean mutters. “Charlie, I need to be on the Plus tour on Friday.”

“Why?” Charlie asks, curious. “You never change your shifts around.”

Dean doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and Charlie sighs. “I can’t help if I don’t know what’s going on, Dean.”

“I met someone, and they said they were going on that tour on Friday and I said I was on it, even though I had no idea what I was on,” Dean says. “I want to swap so it doesn’t seem like I’m some sort of lying creep.”

“Ahh,” Charlie says knowingly. “So it’s a date?”

“No,” Dean says crossly. “It’s not. I’m working, Charlie. I can’t go on dates while I’m working.”

“But our jobs are social,” she adds. “It wouldn’t be _too_ weird if you were talking to just one customer all night. Tell me about them. Guy or girl?”

“Guy,” Dean admits. “Look, can you make it happen?”

Charlie sucks in a breath. “The things I do for you…” She mutters. “Sure, I’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks,” Dean sighs. “I appreciate it Charlie.”

“You better. Look, I gotta get back to work.”

“Course,” Dean replies. “You should swing by tomorrow.”

“I will,” Charlie tells him, and hangs up. Dean lets out a breath and leans back on the heels of his feet. He’s standing next to the cheese, and he picks up a block before continuing on.

For better or worse, he’s seeing Cas again on Friday.

~*~*~*~

Charlie does come over on Wednesday night, and against his better judgement, Dean lets her break out the alcohol. She has crashed at his house before and probably will again tonight, so she’s not worrying about what she’s drinking. Instead she’s using all her tricks to ply Dean with as much liquor as she can to get him to talk about Cas.

“I told you, nothing is happening,” Dean says, carefully pronouncing the words so they don’t slur. “I met him on the trail, and I happened to bump into him at the supermarket. End of story.”

“But is he _dreamy_?” Charlie giggles, putting her head in her hands and attempting to look seriously at him. It’s hilarious, and Dean starts laughing, Charlie joining in a few seconds later.

“Well, yeah,” he finally says, and Charlie bounces up and down a bit before stopping and looking a bit woozy. “You feelin’ okay?” Dean asks her.

“Yeah,” she replies. “Fine, fine. So, is he in it for the sex, or what?”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Not everything is about sex, Charlie.”

“Hey, I’ve _never_ seen you date anyone in my life,” Charlie says. “And before you say anything, Lisa does not count. You didn’t date her, you banged her for three days straight. I wouldn’t have minded that,” Charlie mumbles, looking over Dean’s shoulder, eyes unfocused.

“Whatever,” Dean mutters, elbowing her. She shrieks and has to concentrate on her wine glass for a second to make sure that nothing spills, but nearly makes it worse when she over tips it one way and nearly pours it out the other side. Dean grabs her elbow and steadies her, and she flashes a smile at him.

“So is he?” She persists, and Dean sighs.

“I don’t even know if he’s into guys Charlie. I told you, it’s not a date.”

“Right,” she drawls. “Whatever you say Dean.”

“You’re drunk,” Dean accuses.

“So are you,” she tries to say back, and Dean lifts his eyebrows.

“I am not. We both need to go to sleep. I have work in the morning, you know.”

“Yeah, and _I_ don’t,” Charlie says happily.

“Come on,” Dean says, capping all the bottles and standing with their glasses in his hands. He winces as the room spins for a second and then settles down. Charlie pouts at him but goes into the bathroom anyway as Dean takes a minute to clean up and then follows her to brush his teeth. She has her own toiletries here and he has his own at her house, which is a testament to how much time they spend together.

“Fine,” she says after rinsing. “We’ll sleep.”

“The spare room is made up,” Dean tells her.

“Good,” she says. “If your alarm wakes me up one more time I’m going to hit you.”

Dean grins at her as she walks into the spare room and shuts the door. He turns out all the lights and makes sure all the doors are locked before turning in himself.

His alarm goes off too soon. Dean grumbles and moves reluctantly and doesn’t turn it off until Charlie hits the wall a few times. Even then he lies in bed for another five minutes before getting up.

He gets ready and is about to leave when Charlie stumbles out of her bedroom. Her hair is in disarray and Dean fights the urge to take a photo. She glares at him and he smiles at her.

“Sleep well?” He asks innocently.

“Shut up Dean,” she mutters. He laughs and picks up his keys from their hook near the door and heads outside.

He pulls up to the resort in time to see Benny finish telling some of the workers off. They’re currently trying to build an add on to the resort where injured penguins could be held for a short amount of time, but just by looking at the machines that the building crew had brought, Dean can tell that nothing would start today. Once the workers walk off, Dean approaches Benny, who’s still puffing with anger.

“They just don’t get it, do they brother?” Benny huffs. “Look at what they brought! As if I’d let ‘em work with that… Decent chance of killing one of the little guys before you even started working on their refuge. Wheels everywhere, loud machinery covering up any sounds. Do you know that I found a burrow under the back steps last night?” He shakes his head. “The little ones are everywhere.”

“Don’t sweat it too much Benny,” Dean reassures him. “They should have brought their other stuff. You called about ten times to make sure that they knew they had to bring the smaller machines. It’s on them, not you.”

Benny sighs. “True, true. But still, the thought of it…” He shakes his head.

“Let’s go inside,” Dean suggests. They walk in together, and Dean feels the cool air run over him.  
“You need anything?”

Benny goes to shake his head and then pauses. “Actually, I do need someone to drop off some penguins to the Wildlife Clinic. I think the guy that you dropped off to Jess is one of them.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, I can do that. They’re in the usual place?”

When Benny nods, Dean goes over to where they keep temporary animals. There are three large boxes, and Dean moves them one by one so the animals inside have no chance of being dropped or banged about too much. He doesn’t put them in the boot of his Jeep, choosing instead to secure them in the back seat for the drive down the road to the Clinic, which only takes a minute. There, he unloads them and gives them over to Jo, who takes them all and smiles at him.

“Thanks Dean. We should have these guys back in the wild as soon as they’ve healed up. Except the chick, of course. He needs to grow up, but as soon as he can take care of himself, we’ll let him go.” Jo peeks into the box on top of the pile, and Dean grins at her. He’d known Jo before she’d started kindy, and as far as he could remember, she had always wanted to be a vet.

“Awesome,” he tells her. A movement catches his eye, and he frowns slightly. “Have you got visitors in there?”

“Yeah, a few who can pay the money.” Dean swallows slightly as he sees the dark shock of hair that can only belong to Cas. “They’re mostly just rich people who want to see animals up and close and have no danger of them getting rowdy. Dean? What are you looking at?”

Dean takes his eyes off Cas, but not before the other man spots him. “Ah, I know one of the people,” he tells Jo, who narrows her eyes at him.

“Which one?” She questions.

“That one,” Dean points to Cas, who is making his way towards them.

“Hello Dean,” Cas greets him.

“Hey Cas,” Dean replies. Jo lifts an eyebrow at him, but he ignores it.

“What are you doing here?” Cas asks him.

“I work around here,” Dean replies, and sees Cas flush slightly. “I’m just delivering some animals to get rehabilitated and then released into the wild. The chick that Balthazar stepped on is in here.”

“Really?” Cas asks. “Can I see him?”

“He’s freaking out a little in his box, so maybe if Jo says so when he’s in a burrow,” Dean replies.

“Speaking of, we need to get them inside,” she says. Dean picks up one box, Jo takes another, and Cas picks up the last box, which has the penguin chick in it.

“Be careful with that,” Jo warns, and Cas nods, his face serious.

“I would never drop a penguin.”

“Good,” she sniffs. “Come on then.”

Dean follows her to where she lets the two adult penguins out into the same enclosure. One immediately goes and dives into the water, while the other huddles on the land, not moving much or looking interested in the fish that Jo throws it.

“Hmm, we might have to keep an eye on him,” Jo says. “There’s a special space for the chicks.”

Jo brings them to a dark burrow, and slowly coaxes the chick out and into it. “We’ll feed him carefully, so he doesn’t get used to humans,” Jo tells Cas. “We want to release him, so he can’t be dependent on humans to get his food for him.” Cas nods, taking in the information that Jo is giving him.

Jo takes them back to the tour and Cas re-joins them. Dean waves at him and Cas lingers for a second, staring at him, before following the rest of the group into the next room. Dean bites his lip and looks at the door until Jo elbows him. Dean glances at her and narrows his eyes at her smirk.

“So… how do you know him?” Jo asks him, smiling.

Dean shrugs. “I met him the other day.”

“He’s the only person in that group who I was actually interested in,” Jo says. Dean feels a half moment of panic before she continues. “He’s a vet, you know. Knows what we’re doing here, and appreciates it.”

“A vet?” Dean questions, looking to the doorway.

“Specialising in birdlife, I think,” Jo muses. “He’s interested in the penguins.”

“Huh,” Dean says. “Anyway, do you need anything that I can grab you?”

Jo shakes her head. “After that lot leave, there are only the usual things to do around here. You can go back up to the resort.”

Dean tries not to feel a pang of disappointment that he wouldn’t be hanging around, so he wouldn’t get to see Cas again. He shakes it off and bids Jo goodbye before driving back up to the resort. The rest of the day goes past and he’s on lockup, since Charlie had swapped him with Caleb’s shift tonight to swap with him again tomorrow. He watches everyone leave and closes up all of the gates and turns the lights off in the resort. There are still the people in the animal section of the resort, but they’re running on a different schedule to him and he’s not responsible for them.

He’s tired by the time he gets home. He kicks off his boots to land beside a few pairs of thongs and other work boots before he crashes immediately. He gets up too early and can’t get back to sleep so he spends the time in the morning trying to get up the nerve to call Sam. He stares at the phone in his hand for half an hour before tucking it in his pocket when he leaves for work.

By the time he’s organising the Plus tour with Annie, he’s feeling the strain of the late night and early morning. Annie frowns at him when he yawns for the third time in as many minutes.

“You feeling okay Dean?” She asks, concern hidden under an amused smile.

“Yeah,” Dean replies. “Just didn’t get much sleep last night. I’m fine, really.”

“Right,” Annie drawls. “Whatever you say. Do you want to go down first, or can I?”

“I’ll go down first,” Dean volunteers. It would mean that he had to entertain the first people who arrived at the platform before Annie got there to talk to the gathered people, but he didn’t want to miss out on Cas turning up.

“Alright,” Annie agrees. “You should probably head down then.”

“Okay, see you when you get there,” Dean replies, and starts heading towards the door. When he sees Charlie coming to intercept him he resigns himself to an interrogation.

“Dean,” she says seriously. “If you don’t tell everything that happens tonight, I am never doing you another favour again. Remember, I had to arrange this.”

Dean sighs. “Yeah, okay, fine. I’ll tell you what happens, but I have to get down there now, or he’ll be there before me.”

Charlie steps out of his way and sweeps a hand towards the door, bowing dramatically. Dean smiles at her as he walks out, taking the boardwalk through the heather that would lead him down to the platform near the beach, which is where the Plus people would have a very good view of the penguins coming out of the sea.

When Dean gets down there, there is only an older couple already seated. He greets them and tells them that if they have any questions, they should ask him about anything. They nod, and Dean goes to the corner of the platform. He tries to keep his eyes on the sea or the hill next to him, but his eyes keep straying back to the boardwalk where people would enter. His phone buzzes in his pocket and he digs it out to look at the text.

**> > He there yet? (7:06pm)**

Dean looks up again, but no dark haired figure is walking down the hill to get to the Plus platform.

**< < not yet (7:07pm)**

Charlie doesn’t respond immediately, so Dean puts his phone back in his pocket. More people trickle down until he would say they have all the people for the night, which is about thirty. Cas still isn’t here.

He sees Annie walking down to start the tour, and Cas hurrying right behind her, a tan trench coat wrapped around his narrow frame that makes him seem bulkier. It makes Dean smile, the disappointment that had been building up in his chest disappearing in a few seconds.

As soon as Cas gets close enough, he flashes Dean a smile. He finds a seat near the front and to the right, where Dean’s standing, and Dean tries not to notice him too much.

With the sun setting rapidly, Annie must see some penguins in the sea, because she starts talking, not using a microphone because of the small audience and because it can frighten some of the small sea birds. There are no lights on the Plus platform either, which makes it an attractive way for the penguins to get higher up the island.

Annie’s words wash over him, and he nods along, not really paying attention. The reason that this platform is so good for viewing is because when it rains, the water drains off right next to where the boardwalk had been built, washing sand into the bottom of the water’s trail. This meant that no large plants grow there, and there is a nice, gradual, sandy ascent that the penguins can easily manage to get up to the island’s higher points if they live there. The rest of the coast is rough heather and steep hills and cliffs, so it is far harder for the penguins to climb upwards.

Dean hears a small chirp and leans over the railing slightly to look down. Near the pole that’s keeping the boardwalk suspended above the ground, a small head pokes out of a burrow, obviously awaiting a parent to come back and feed it. He smiles softly and looks back to Cas, who’s gaze is focused on him, not Annie or the diving penguins in the surf just out to sea that some of the others are talking about. Dean feels pinned under that gaze for a second before Cas moves it.

“As you can probably see, the little penguins are diving in the breakers as close as they can to land. That’s because they don’t want to attract any predators that are out in the deep sea, but they don’t want to walk up to their burrows just yet, because they feel exposed in the light to other predators, like foxes. But because the sun is setting, they should be coming in soon. They like dusk, since that’s when they can hide the best. If you have any other questions, you can ask me or Dean, who’s standing in the corner there.” Dean waves to the crowd and a few of the younger members wave back. Annie smiles at the group. “The penguins will probably be coming in soon, so keep an eye out, and have a good night.”

As if her words summoned them, Dean can see the first wave of little penguins making their way from the beach to the sandy creek bed. The group crowds around the barrier, and Dean steps away from it so that they can get as close as they can to the penguins.

Annie nods at him and takes up a stance on the other side of the boardwalk, so they can cover as many questions as possible. Dean is immediately set upon by an older man who wants to know why the penguins choose this island as their nesting place. As soon as Dean’s answered that question he has another, and another, and usually Dean wouldn’t mind it at all, but he can see Cas hovering a few metres away, obviously wanting to talk to him.

He _finally_ manages to dislodge the guy by suggesting that Annie has a better answer to one of his questions. The man moves over and begins drowning the older ranger in questions, and Dean breathes a sigh of relief.

Dean’s eyes slowly drift back to Cas, who is smiling softly at him. Dean swallows and smiles back shyly, and Cas stands up and walks over to where he is.

“Hey,” Cas greets him softly.

“Hey,” Dean echoes, looking down at the other man. “How’re you doing?”

Cas shrugs. “Pretty well. Balthazar went home already. His foot was bothering him.”

“When’s your flight out?” Dean asks, because he needs to know how long Cas is going to be staying, how long he’ll be randomly bumping into him.

“Next Sunday,” Cas tells him. Dean sighs quietly, and then nods.

“You see them?” Dean asks, nodding to the penguins who are making their way past them, waddling along happily. Cas comes up to join him at the barrier and looks down with him to see them walking past.

“They’re smaller than I expected,” Cas admits.

“Little penguins usually don’t grow bigger than thirty-three centimetres. They’re pretty tiny.”

Cas snorts softly. “I’m still not used to everyone using metric measurements.”

“Uh, they’re about thirteen inches, I think?” Dean scrambles to convert it to American measurements, though he’s not quite sure if he got it right.

“I didn’t mean that it was a bad thing,” Cas murmurs. “I prefer metric.”

Dean huffs out a laugh. “Yeah, me too.”

They stand in silence for a few minutes and watch the penguins. Dean tries not to notice the strength in Cas’s lean figure or how good he smells in the night.

Dean asks one of the women standing near the barrier to put her camera away, and she does reluctantly. Dean keeps an eye on her, just in case she whips it out again.

“Do you enjoy living here?” Cas asks him. Dean looks at him, trying to figure out what he means.

“It’s good. I have the sea and the penguins and my job. Friends and the city is nearby if you want to head in while still getting the ruralish vibe from this place. I like it.”

“Hmm,” Cas hums.

“Why?” Dean asks.

Cas looks away, and Dean thinks that he might not want to answer that. “I’m looking to move from the States to somewhere else. It is one of the reasons I started this. I wanted to get away.”

Dean doesn’t ask what Cas wanted to get away from, instead brushing up against him gently, wanting to comfort him but not really knowing how to. Some of the tension leaks out of his frame, and Dean is thankful that’s he’s useful enough for that, at least.

Cas looks up at him, and Dean feels himself get locked up in Cas’s eyes. God, what is he even doing with this guy? He has no idea if Cas is interested or not, and Dean doesn’t know what he’s even _doing_ –

“Dean?” Cas asks.

“Yeah?” Dean answers.

Cas licks his lips, and Dean follows the movement involuntarily. “Do you mind… this?”

“Excuse me?” Dean asks.

Cas blushes slightly. “Do you mind us… meeting up like this?”

Dean stares at him for a few seconds before he realises that Cas is asking him if he wants to continue on their strange acquaintances-to-maybe-more-than-acquaintances. He swallows before he answers.

“Nah,” Dean mutters, rubbing his hands over his arms where the cooling night air is giving him goose bumps. “I don’t mind it at all.”

“Oh,” Cas says, and Dean is rewarded with what he thinks is Cas’s first, genuine smile directed towards him. Dean immediately wants more smiles like that, and it fades far too quickly for his tastes. “Well, I don’t mind it either.”

“That’s good,” Dean tells him. They fall silent again, and Dean feels it out. It’s not often that he finds someone that he can be silent with. He generally feels the need to be loud, to fill the spaces in the air with his words. He doesn’t need to do that with Cas, and it’s making him far more comfortable than if it were with any other person. He feels like they’ve known each other for longer than they have, and it’s kind of weirding him out.

Cas doesn’t leave. They talk while the other customers leave slowly, and Annie looks over at him when everyone else is gone and it’s only the three of them on the boardwalk. Dean nods at her to go, and she does, casting one last look back at them before continuing. Dean is so caught up in Cas and what he’s saying that he doesn’t notice the time ticking by, and when the lights on the boardwalk and the floodlights on the other side of the beach turn off, he’s left disorientated.

“Dean?” Cas asks, alarmed. Dean takes a step forward and runs into him, Cas’s forehead bouncing against his nose.

“Ugh,” Dean grunts.

“Sorry,” Cas apologises, and Dean waves it off, before realising that the other man wouldn’t be able to see that.

“It’s fine,” Dean replies. “Sorry, I didn’t keep track of the time. Annie must have turned the lights off.”

“It’s dark,” Cas says, and Dean smiles.

“It’s night. But it won’t be dark for long.”

“What do you mean?” Cas asks. Dean fumbles around in the dark until he finds Cas’s arm, and then hesitantly takes his hand. Cas doesn’t say anything, and he doesn’t pull away, so Dean counts that as a win.

“Wait a minute and you’ll get it,” Dean responds.  He runs a hand through his hair and looks up. As his eyes adjust, the stars are getting brighter and he can see the surrounding area easier. Cas starts to look around as well, and Dean hears his breath catch as he figures out how bright it still is under the stars.

“It’s not something that most people who live in the city understand,” Dean tells Cas. “In cities, the lights are always there. Light pollution is one of the worst things about modern living, I think. You don’t get to see the night for what she really is.” Dean points out south, to sea. “When you’re looking in this direction, there’s pretty much nothing but open water until you reach Antarctica, and there aren’t exactly a heap of lights there. It’s pitch black, and because the ridge behind us is blocking the lights from Cowes and Melbourne, it’s dark out here. Until you realise that it isn’t.” Dean takes a deep breath in, tasting the fragrances in the air. The salty tang of the sea and the heather’s flowers compete with Cas’s scent. It’s earthy and human, and _nice_ like so few people smell, and Dean likes it.

“You can see the stars,” Cas murmurs, his face tilted upwards. Dean nods silently. Everything is draped in the deep blue of night, but besides that, he can see fairly well down the beach. Cas’s eyes are a deep blue, different from the blue in the daylight, but still reflecting the colour of the sky. Dean tilts his head up and finds the Southern Cross in the sky, the familiar constellation calming him and reminding him of his mother.

_Remember Dean. Those stars only look down on a few of us, and you especially. You belong among them – you’re my shining star._

His hand is still tangled up in Cas’s, and he makes no move to take it back, the warmth of the palm pressing into his own grounding him as he looks up to the swirling lights above them.

~*~*~*~

Dean walks into the resort the next morning feeling happy, even though he can feel tiredness dragging at his bones. He and Cas had stumbled back up to the resort in the dark, and Cas had bid him goodbye seriously, as if that were the last time they would see each other. Dean hopes that that isn’t the case.

Garth tells him that some teenagers thought it would be fun to go and have a bonfire near the south cape of the island, and Dean shakes his head. With the fire ban from the summer still in place, if they’d been caught then they would’ve been charged, and could have even got gaol time if there’d been any chance of the fire spreading. They should be glad that Jody hadn’t been patrolling that area of the island last night. The chief of police doesn’t tolerate anyone breaking the law on Phillip Island, and Dean is sure that he’d run into her at the site, fuming at the idiocy of anyone who lights a fire in the current conditions.

Dean’s just about to leave when Charlie comes out of the back room and pounces on him.

“How was your date?” Are the first words that come out of her mouth, and Dean winces, half regretting telling her anything about Cas.

“Well he was still out there with him when I turned the lights out,” Annie comments as she walks past. “Just wanted to give you two a little privacy, in case you wanted to bang him right there.”

Dean feels his face heat slightly. The two red headed ladies ganged up on him far too often for his liking. “Jesus Annie, I wasn’t going to fuck someone on the boardwalk. I’d probably have to clean it all up.”

“Definitely have to clean it all up,” Tessa mutters as she walks past. Charlie laughs and Dean scowls at her.

“Seriously though,” Charlie presses and Dean sighs.

“It was good,” he admits.

“Great!” Charlie says. “Did you make plans to meet up again?”

Dean shakes his head and she frowns at him. “Really? You’re obviously into the guy.”

“He’s leaving next week Charlie,” Dean says. “What am I going to do, just hang out with him and get to know him in time to say goodbye in a week? If we meet up again, then fine. We meet up again. But beyond that, I don’t think it’s a great idea to starts something.” Dean sighs quietly and rubs a hand over his face. It _was_ really great talking to Cas last night. They’d chatted for about two hours while they’d been out there, and Dean had found himself laughing at some of the things Cas had said, and being interested in everything else. He doesn’t usually hit it off with people so easily, but that’s what it had been like with Cas… easy. Easy to find things to talk about and easy to listen.

Charlie pulls a face but reluctantly nods. “Okay, I get that. But you could at least sleep with him before he goes. When was the last time you got laid?”

Dean scowls at her but doesn’t answer the question. He knows when he last got laid, and it isn’t a great memory. Charlie knows that, and she’s throwing it in his face.

“Charlie, that’s really none of your business,” Dean tells her.

“Well you were the one who had me organise your date,” Charlie reasons. “And I have to deal with you bitching about how you haven’t had sex in nearly a year when I get you drunk, so it’s my problem then.”

“TMI, Charlie,” Krissy calls as she walks back into the storeroom to get some more boxes of inventory for where she’s stacking penguin products on the shelf.

“Sorry,” Charlie calls after her. She looks back at Dean, and he can see the concern hidden in her eyes. “Look, did you get his number at least?” Dean shakes his head and she looks like she wants to hit him upside the head. “Well, if he has any common sense whatsoever, he knows he can come here and look for you.”

“Yeah,” Dean mutters. “Look, I have to go and start cleaning up where that bonfire was last night. Jody’s probably already there and mad that I’m not.”

“Yeah, okay. You should probably go,” Charlie says. “She’s scary when she’s angry.”

Dean huffs and goes out to his buggy. It doesn’t take long to get to the site – it doesn’t take long to get anywhere on the island, really – and Jody is there when he arrives. Victor, her second in command, is standing next to their patrol vehicle, talking softly on his phone, so Dean goes straight to Jody.

“Chief,” Dean greets, knowing that she dislikes the title. She glares at him from the corner of her eye.

“How many times have I told you to stop calling me that, Dean?”

Dean grins at her. “Only once or twice.”

“Once or twice a day,” Jody mutters. “You have any clue that this was going down last night?” She asks, looking at the burnt out fire pit and the trash surrounding it, littered through the bush.

Dean shakes his head. “Nope. Can I start cleaning up, or do you need to take _more_ time to examine everything?” Dean hopes the sarcasm in his voice will hit home, since Jody’s probably been staring at the scene for an hour, but it flies right over her head.

“No, you can start cleaning. We’ve got everything we need.”

“Okay,” Dean says, already wiping sweat off his brow. It’s going to be a hot day today, and he can only hope that it’s one of the last ones before autumn comes.

Jody stares at everything until Dean presses a bag into her hand, and then she helps him pick up the trash, going through the nearby bush and getting everything so that no wildlife would eat it and get sick. By the time they’re finished, it’s mid-afternoon. Dean has spent the last half hour sweeping up ash.

“If you want, I can take all this back to Cowes and get rid of it there,” Jody tells him.

“Really?” Dean asks. “You’d be okay with that?”

“Yeah, I can do it,” Jody tells him. “It’ll give you more time to be around the resort so that nice boy of yours can come around.”

“Really?” Dean asks, exasperated. “Who told you?”

“Bobby called,” Jody tells him. How Bobby found out, Dean has no idea. “Dean, we all think it’s past time you started dating again.”

“Why is everyone on this island so invested in my life?” Dean asks to the open air. He’s probably got a better chance of getting a straight answer out of it than Jody.

“We all care about you, Dean,” Jody says, frowning at him. “We just want what’s best for you. And you haven’t been as happy ever since…” Jody trails off and takes the last bag from his hands to put in the back of her patrol car.

 _That’s because my baby brother’s gone!_ Dean wants to shout at the sky. A year had passed and he still isn’t happy because Sam _left_! His family had been screwed up enough before Sam had gone, and he’s still trying to keep himself from falling apart some nights. There’s been a reason that he hadn’t dated, and it was because he wasn’t ready to share anything with anyone else.

“We just want you to be happy,” Jody finishes with.

“Yeah, well, I’m happy already,” Dean grumbles.

“Right,” Jody replies, rolling her eyes. “Totally happy.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“Well you’re getting it anyway, just like you’ve got it for all of your life.”

Dean snorts and gets into his buggy. “Well I don’t need it,” Dean informs her. Jody raises an eyebrow, but Dean starts his buggy up and drives past her, waving over his shoulder. Victor nods at him as he goes past, still on his phone. Dean wonders what he’s talking about.

He heads back into town, intending to grab some lunch before heading back to the resort. The Subway in Cowes is one of the places he visits regularly, and as he orders his food, Bela winks at him over the counter.

“So, you doing anything on Tuesday?” She purrs, fluttering her lashes at him. “I know that’s your day off.”

“I’m not interested,” Dean tells her, for what feels like the thirtieth time.

“Really?” She asks him. “I heard you were dating again, so obviously I’m the best choice.” Why _Bela_ of all people would know about Cas he can’t begin to fathom, but he decides to just give up on trying to figure out how people know about his life right then and there.

“No, Bela,” Dean tells her firmly. Bela sighs.

“One day, Dean. One day you’ll bow to my charms.” 

“I don’t think so,” Dean tells her. She gives him his sandwich, and, like always, her number is scrawled on the napkin around the roll.

He bins the napkin as he walks out the door.

~*~*~*~

Castiel closes the door to his hotel room and pockets the key. He has to walk down the stairs because there’s no elevator, and leaves the building. There’s a Subway down the road from where he’s staying, and it seems like a good place to get some lunch.

A woman with short hair and a nametag with ‘Bela’ on it serves him grumpily. Castiel wonders why she’s in such a foul mood, but he doesn’t mind too much, since she piles on too much food onto his roll and passes it to him. He gives her the money and she thrusts the change at him. He leaves, slightly concerned about the customer service, but taking a bite out of his roll anyway.

The bite threatens to fall out of his mouth when he sees Dean across the street.

He swears he has simply been bumping into the Australian, but he’s vaguely worried that Dean will begin to think that he’s stalking him.

Before he can dart away, Dean turns around and sees him. He lifts a hand and waves, and Castiel cannot do anything but wave back. Dean crosses the road, and Castiel sees the roll in his hands.

“Hey Cas,” Dean says, smiling at him. “What cha up to?”

Castiel tries to quell the butterflies making his stomach roll. “Just getting lunch,” he says awkwardly, holding up his food.

Dean nods. “Yeah, me too.” He’s dressed in his uniform, and its dark green only makes his eyes stand out. Castiel tries not to notice them, which is hard when he’s staring at them.

Staring. He’s staring again. Dean swallows and doesn’t break eye contact until a piece of chicken falls out of his roll.

“Shit,” Dean mutters. “Sorry.”

Castiel looks down bemusedly at the chicken on his shoe. “It’s alright.”

“Let me clean you up,” Dean says. He takes Castiel’s napkin from his roll – Castiel notices that his is gone – and kneels down.

Castiel’s heart doubles its rate and he crouches as well, not wanting Dean to be on the concrete alone. Dean is cleaning him up determinedly, and Castiel grabs his hand to stop him. Dean looks up at him, and Castiel is suddenly very aware of the small distance between their faces.

“It is fine,” Castiel tells him. Dean frowns at him and pulls his hand out of his grasp to finish wiping the mess up. He stands and deposits it in the nearby bin, and looks down at Castiel.

“It might be fine to you, Cas, but not to me.” He extends a hand and Castiel grabs it. Dean pulls him to his feet and Castiel holds onto his hand, not letting it go. Dean makes no move to remove it, and if Castiel breathed deeply enough, their chests would touch.

Dean coughs and Castiel takes a step back. He knows that he makes people uncomfortable when he stands too close, and he doesn’t want Dean to be uncomfortable around him.

“Why are you here, anyway?” Dean asks him. “I didn’t take you for a Subway guy.”

Castiel shrugs. “My hotel is on the next street over. It is close by and not very expensive.”

“Fair enough,” Dean replies.

They stand in silence for a few seconds before Castiel gathers the courage to speak again. “Thank you. For last night. It was…” _Wonderful_ , he wants to say, but he fears that that might be pushing it a bit too far. “Very nice. I enjoyed it.”

Dean smiles at him, mouth curling up at the edges for a second before it disappears. Castiel wants to make it stay. The smile lights up Dean’s face, making his eyes glow and changing his whole demeanour. Castiel is sure that he is avoided by people on the streets who do not know him, simply because he walks around with a half-scowl on his face most of the time. If he walked around with that smile on, Castiel is sure that people would be tripping over themselves to come and talk to him.

Including girls. His chest tightens. What is he doing? Does Dean even like men? Castiel hasn’t found the right way to bring it up, either Dean’s or his own sexuality. He bites his lip and Dean follows the motion. He’s fairly sure that it means interest, but he’s never been good with decoding other people’s emotions, and he can tell that Dean keeps his hidden more than most.

“Thanks. I liked it as well. Livened up my night.”

Because it was all just work for Dean. Castiel couldn’t imagine seeing the penguins coming out of the water every week. The small creatures had been mesmerising, and Castiel is sure that he would not tire of it.

“I am glad,” Castiel tells him, trying not to wince when his words come out graver than he had expected. Dean smiles at him again, and Castiel wonders why. He had done nothing interesting.

“You doing anything else today?” Dean asks him. Castiel had been planning on wondering through Cowes, maybe ending up on the beach, but that was swept aside in wanting to spend more time with the ranger.

“Nothing important,” Castiel tells him. Dean looks down at his watch, and then back up at Castiel.

“I’ve got an hour. You want to go down to the beach?”

Castiel shivers slightly. “Yes,” he replies. “I would.”

~*~*~*~

On Tuesday morning, Dean gets up at his normal time. He prepares everything he would need to surf, and by the time the sun has risen, is already at the beach.

While the wind and water usually clears his mind of everything, today Dean can’t help thinking about Cas. After they’d hung out at one of the tables on the beach at Cowes – it _was not_ a date, no matter how much Dean wanted it to be – for two hours, Dean had needed to get back to the resort, where he’d had to spill his guts to Charlie to repay her covering for him.

They’d talked for most of the two hours, although some of the time had been spent simply staring at each other as well. Dean still hadn’t found the guts to ask Cas if he was gay. It was stupid, and he knew it was stupid, but when he’d opened his mouth to ask, something else had popped out instead. He hadn’t told Cas anything about Sam, but he’d talked about his work and his degree and his surfing and about Charlie and Jody and Benny. Cas had regaled him with stories about Egypt and Greece and Mongolia and Japan and Singapore, recounting tales of what had happened to himself and Balthazar. Most were light hearted and funny, and even those with a more serious note – like both Castiel and Balthazar getting robbed outside of their hotel in Peru – had been lightened by the way Cas had told them. The man had trapped him with his big, blue eyes and messy hair, and now Dean is taking the bait of his serious expression layered over someone with a good heart.

It hadn’t helped that Cas had come into the resort on Sunday, asking after him. Charlie had gotten to him first, and had interrogated him. She claimed it was innocent questioning, but Dean knew better. He is also pretty sure that she invited Cas over to her place on her day off, but he isn’t certain. Dean had walked in on Charlie telling Cas that Dean surfed, and he had caught the appreciative look on Cas’s face. God, he just needed to ask him out and make sure that Cas knew it was a date. Even though Cas is leaving in five days. Fuck, he needs a drink.

He leaves the beach feeling irritated and wound up. It’s the opposite of what he’s used to, and it’s jarring. What’s even more jarring is when he looks up, and standing next to his Jeep is the object of his thoughts.

Dean looks down at himself. He’s wet and sandy and carrying his board, and he’d already undone his wetsuit, which is hanging around his waist, leaving his chest bare. _Well, at least it’s one way to get his attention,_ Dean muses to himself wryly. He waves to Cas, who waves back, and then starts to walk up the stairs to the car park.

“Hello Dean,” Cas greets him.

“Hey Cas,” Dean replies. “Didn’t expect you to be here.”

“Charlie told me that this is where you like to surf,” Cas tells him, looking out to sea. “I’ve been standing here for a while. You look like you know what you’re doing.”

Dean tries not to shift his weight. It would make him look uncomfortable. “I’ve been surfing since I was a kid, so I’m not terrible. It’s just practise.” Dean tries to brush away the compliment. He knows that he’s better than most of the guys who surf on the island, but he’s never been competitive about it, not since he was a teenager. For him, getting out on the water is a way to relax. Competition brings its own stresses and worries, and Dean would lose his way of getting rid of the tension that gathers in his chest and thrums under his heart.

“If you say so,” Cas murmurs. “What do you usually do now?”

Dean’s arms are already tired after the exercise of surfing, and having to hold his board is making them even more tired, but he refuses to let it rest on the ground. Cas’s eyes haven’t gone to his chest once. Dean bites down on nothing and then relaxes his jaw slowly.

“Clean up, go home, relax. Clean the house if it needs it and maybe go shopping. Watch some TV. Nothing much.”

Cas nods. “I was actually just passing by. I have plans in the city today, but will you join me tomorrow?”

Dean’s mouth goes dry. “Doing what?”

Cas shrugs slightly. “Whatever we feel like.”

Dean forces his mouth to form the words that are blocking his throat. “Like a date?”

Cas’s eyes go wary, and Dean wonders how many times he’s been rebuffed before. “If you want it to be,” he says in response. Dean looks at him for a few seconds, and Cas gets progressively more nervous until Dean takes a step forward and leans down, pressing their mouths together.

Cas’s hands immediately come up, and Dean would have thought that they would have gripped his shirt if he’d been wearing one. Instead they rest on his skin and Cas seems jittery about it, sliding them up to tangle in his hair. Dean uses his one free hand to grip Cas’s hip and bring him closer.

He leans back out of the kiss when he feels the temptation to slip his tongue inside Cas’s mouth. The other man’s breathing is louder than normal, and his cheeks are flushed. Dean smirks at him.

“Sure. I’ll meet you opposite Subway tomorrow at ten?”

Cas nods, but doesn’t move. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Dean asks innocently, starting to pack all his gear away so he can go.

Cas narrows his eyes at him. “You are infuriating, Dean Winchester.”

“I try my hardest,” Dean says, and winks at him. The side of Cas’s mouth twitches, and Dean counts it as a win.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Cas promises, and Dean nods. The other man goes to his own car – something he had hired – and gets inside after looking at Dean for a long moment. Dean watches him drive away, and lifts his hand in response to Cas’ as it comes out of the driver’s side window.

Dean takes a deep breath in and finishes storing everything. He slides into the driver’s seat and doesn’t start the engine, taking a moment to calm down. He’d kissed Cas. Holy shit, he’d kissed Cas. The thought knocks him over the head, and Dean feels giddy with it. And Cas asked him out on a date. They are going on a date. The man he had been admiring for the last week had agreed to go out with him.

It would be Dean’s first real date in nearly two years. The first time he’d done anything with anyone since Sam left. He takes another deep breath and turns the engine over.

He hopes he doesn’t screw it up too much.

~*~*~*~

Dean fidgets. He’s wearing a button down top with jeans, and he hopes it’s good enough for wherever they decide to go. Cas hasn’t shown up yet, but Dean is twenty minutes early.

There’s a bite to the wind that’s blowing, and when Dean licks his finger and holds it up to gauge its direction, it’s coming from the south. No surprise as to why it’s so cold, then. Air that had been over Antarctica a few days before would still be cold, since crossing the Southern Ocean would do nothing to warm it up. Phillip Island is one of the first places to receive such a wind, as it’s exposed to the open ocean.

This is one of the first cold days of the year, and Dean feels that with April approaching, it would only get colder from here on in. Winter always sinks its claws deep into the island, and Dean knows that it’s a lot colder here than in Melbourne, even though the city is less than a 100 kilometres away.

He sees Cas coming down the street in that trench coat of his, head lowered against the wind. It’s making his hair fly in every direction, and Dean suppresses a smile. The coat hides Cas’s lithe frame, making him appear bigger and more bulky than he is. Dean wonders for a second if Cas wears it because he likes the coat, or if he had once needed to look bigger and stronger than he is, and the habit hadn’t gone away.

Shaking the thoughts away, Dean greets Cas with a smile.

“I do not understand your weather,” he says, having to speak up over the wind. “It was nearing thirty five degrees yesterday, and today I don’t think it’s going to make it past twenty.”

“Yeah, well winter’s coming. It’ll be far colder soon enough.” Dean isn’t wearing a coat, since he’s used to the colder temperatures. “Where are you from, if you’re not used to the cold?”

“California,” Cas says. “It’s rarely cold there.”

“Yeah, I’d think so,” Dean replies.

Cas flashes a smile at him. “So where do you want to go?”

“Wherever you want to go. I’m not the visitor.”

“I do not know the best places to go around here, Dean,” Cas tells him. “As a local, you would know better.”

Affection unexpectedly wells inside Dean. This man, who obviously has money and more money to spare, who debates over noodle cups and doesn’t mind stumbling up a boardwalk in the dark with only Dean’s hand to guide him, this man is choosing to spend time with him.

“Okay,” he says, flashing a smile at him. “I know just the place.”

He leads Cas over to his Jeep and opens the door to the passenger side for him. Cas raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment. Dean gets in and starts the engine, looking over his shoulder before he starts backing out of his parking space.

He thinks that Cas likes animals, and he’s proven right when he pulls up to the place where they’re going. It’s a koala conservation park, and by the look in Cas’s eyes, he hadn’t been here yet. Dean pays for both of them while Cas wonders around the gift store – why the gift store is at the front of the park, he has no idea – and finds Cas looking at the different types of honey.

“There are so many kinds here,” Cas says, not taking his eyes off them. Dean looks at them, not seeing much out of the ordinary, simply the blue gum kind, some apple honey, a bottle of… avocado honey? Okay, he admits he hadn’t seen that type before. There were a few different types of lavender and one which didn’t specify.

“It’s just honey, Cas,” Dean says, bemused. The other man nods slowly, but Dean is sure that he’d be coming back when they were done.

The park itself isn’t huge, but Cas looks fascinated with the koalas that they can see. They’re in time to catch a show, and Dean listens to one of the keepers talking while sneaking looks at Cas, who is listening with a serious expression on his face. When she’s done, they keep walking around the boardwalks that are suspended above the bush floor, so they wouldn’t interfere with any animals that make their homes on the ground. They have the chance to find one koala lower down in the trees, perching in the fork of a tree so near the walk ways that Dean is sure that he could reach out and touch it. He takes a photo of Cas, and then Cas insists on getting some of the other people nearby to take a photo of both of them. Dean hesitantly wraps an arm around Cas’s waist, and Cas leans into him as they smile.

They buy food from the small café, and Dean grabs some chips while Cas orders a salad.

“Go see if there’s anything you want,” Dean tells Cas when he finishes, nodding over to the gift shop, which takes up the other part of the room. Cas hesitates for a moment. “Dude, I live here. You should take as much time as you want looking through this stuff, without me hovering.”

Cas huffs. “Very well.” He gets up and goes straight back over to the honey and Dean smiles, popping another chip into his mouth. By the time he’s finished, Cas has several bottles of honey, a scarf that has the park’s logo on it, and a koala fridge magnet. Dean puts the rubbish in the bin and comes up behind Cas as he’s looking at the range of tea towels.

“You got enough honey?” He jokes. Cas looks up at him and then down at the jars in his arms.

“I like honey,” Cas tells him. Dean scoops everything out of his arms and holds it while Cas continues looking around. He doesn’t pick up anything else, and though Dean wants to buy these for him as well, he has a feeling that Cas wouldn’t accept it.

He cashier puts Cas’s things in a paper bag, looking slightly bored. They leave the park, and Dean leans up against his Jeep, looking at Cas, who leans on his car beside him.

“Thank you,” Cas says softly. “I enjoyed that.”

Dean smiles. “You’re welcome.” He looks around, but there’s no one else in the gravel car park. Sliding closer to Cas, he puts his arm around him, tugging him in closer.

“What are you doing for the rest of your stay?” Dean asks him.

“My plane leaves on Sunday at one,” Cas starts.

“In the afternoon?”

“In the morning,” Cas sighs. “So no sleep. I’ll sleep on the plane, I suppose. So I’m spending Saturday on the beach in Cowes and packing. Tomorrow and Friday I was just going to go in to Melbourne and look around. Nothing in particular.”

Dean nods. “I can give the names of some cool places to go, if you want.”

Cas brightens. “That would be helpful, thank you.”

Cas gives him his phone, and Dean opens the notes and begins typing up places and things with their addresses if he can remember them.

He looks at the time while he’s typing, and sighs inwardly. Charlie is coming over in an hour, and it’d take nearly that long to drop Cas off and get home. He gives Cas’s phone back to him, trying not to get caught in the trap of his eyes.

“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” Cas asks him.

“Just having Charlie over. She said she’d swing by in about an hour,” Dean tells him reluctantly. Cas’s eyes widen slightly.

“Dean! You should have told me. I wouldn’t have looked around for so long,” Cas grumbles, lowering his eyebrows at him.

Dean shrugs. “It’s no big deal. Charlie can let herself in if she needs to.”

Cas is already getting in the passenger seat. Dean sighs and gets in himself.

“Still,” Cas continues. “I shouldn’t be holding you up.”

Dean looks over at him before starting the engine. Cas’s shoulders are tense and he’s looking at his hands, which are twisting in his lap.

“Hey,” Dean says. Cas looks up at him, and Dean holds the eye contact. “I said, don’t worry about it. I’ve always got Charlie around to drive me crazy, but you won’t be around to hang out with for much longer.”

Some of the tension bleeds out of Cas. “I suppose,” he mutters lowly. Dean grins at him when he looks up, and that makes Cas smile in response.

“Yeah, Charlie won’t be mad, especially since I’m hanging out with you.”

Cas is silent until Dean is on the main road, headed back to Cowes. After that, he’d head to Rhyll, and meet Charlie around the time he’d said.

“Do you have any family?” Cas asks him.

Dean shrugs. “A brother in America.” Even saying that little amount hurt. “Mum died when I was four, and dad when I was seventeen. It’s just us.”

“I’m sorry,” Cas murmurs.

Dean doesn’t look at him, keeping his eyes on the road. “It’s doesn’t matter. It was years ago, now.” Over eight years ago. Fuck, had it really been that long? It felt like yesterday that Dean was cowering from his father’s drunken curses and threats of harm, intermingled with slurs and drunken statements of how John had failed as a parent. Dean had always tried to shield Sam from the worst of it, but he hadn’t always succeeded, to his chagrin. Coming into a room to see dad yelling at Sam usually cut deeper than anything John said to him.

“I have six siblings,” Cas offers, and Dean takes a moment to look at him, eyebrows lifted.

“Seriously?”

Cas nods. “Yes. Anna, Gabriel, Balthazar, Samandriel, Michael and Lucifer.”

“Lucifer,” Dean repeats disbelievingly. “All of you are what, named after angels except Anna?”

“Anna is short for Anael,” Cas admits. “But yes. Our parents were very religious.”

Dean doesn’t miss the use of the ‘were,’ but he doesn’t comment on it.

“Jeez, you must have been picked on in school,” Dean mutters.

“My brothers usually stopped any attempt, so I did not have to deal with that,” Cas tells him.

“That’s good,” Dean says.

It isn’t long before they pull up in the car park near Cas’s hotel. Dean gets out and goes to stand next to Cas, who’s rubbing his arms together to try to warm them up. As the day had progressed, it hadn’t gotten any warmer.

There’s a large four wheel drive next to them, so they’re suitably hidden from view. Cas looks up at him and smiles slightly.

“I had a good time today. I’m glad you took me to the park, I enjoyed it.”

Dean rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, well I didn’t think you’d have gone there. It’s tucked away. I’m happy you liked it.” _God, Dean, could you sound like any more of an idiot?_

Cas’s eyes crinkle and there’s something real about it, like Cas had been smiling for Dean’s benefit before, but now he’s just happy. Dean’s feels his breath catch and then he’s leaning down before he can consciously decide to kiss him.

He slides his hands into the wild hair that the wind’s been flipping around all day, feeling the soft strands tickling his palms. Cas sucks in a breath and kisses him back, a hand coming up to frame Dean’s face and brush a thumb across his cheek. Cas’s lips are chapped from the wind and Dean is getting tangled up in his coat, which is _far_ too big, but he doesn’t mind at the moment. Not when he has Cas to kiss.

Cas pulls back slowly, and Dean opens his eyes. When he smirks, Cas blushes slightly but doesn’t look away. Dean is content to look at him for another few minutes or days, but his phone chirps in his pocket.

Cas blinks and lets his arms fall to his sides. Dean swears silently and pulls his phone out to see who texted him.

**> > You’re not at home??? (4:19pm)**

_Worst timing ever, Charlie,_ Dean thinks to himself.

“Charlie?” Cas asks.

Dean nods. “Yeah, she’s at my place.”

Cas looks at his feet. “How long have you been friends?”

Dean thinks he knows what the other man is getting at. “A long time. All she’s probably going to talk about tonight is how her asking out Jess went though. No matter what I might want to talk about, it’s all going to about Jess and how nice she is.”

Cas flicks his eyes back up at him and his eyes crinkle again. “I am sure you will be able to deal with it.”

“Yeah,” Dean answers. Cas takes a step back, and Dean fights the urge to take a step forward. “I’ll see you around?” Dean asks cautiously.

Cas bites his lip and then nods slightly. “Yes,” he says. “I would like that.”

“Me too,” Dean replies. He fights the urge to step forward and kiss Cas again. He doesn’t want the other man to think he just wants to fuck. Okay, so he _had_ been checking out Cas’s ass, but he’s here for Cas as a person as well. Which is weird, when he thinks about it. He can’t remember the last time he wanted to date anyone.

Cas flushes slightly and his lips turn upward. Cas darts forward and touches their lips together for half a second before he turns and leaves, leaving Dean with nothing to do besides watch his ass as he walks away.

A smirk tugs up the corners of his mouth as he gets back in his car.

~*~*~*~

“So did you kiss?”

Dean runs a hand through his hair. “Charlie,” he starts, but she keeps talking over him.

“Holy crap, you didn’t have sex, did you?”

“No!” Dean says loudly. If Charlie got on that train, she’d never stop.

The red haired woman deflates slightly. “Well, at least you kissed him, right?”

“Yeah,” Dean grumbles. Charlie grins at him.

“You’re being so cute about this. It’s probably because of the build-up of romantic tension you have shoved inside you, ready to explode out in a rush of cute dates and making out sessions.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “Whatever you say. Did you ask Jess out?” He asks, changing the track of the conversation.

Charlie turns shy. “I did,” she says, but she doesn’t continue.

“And?” Dean presses. He’s been watching Charlie and Jess dance around each other for the last few months, and before that they had been friends, if not that close. As soon as they had started getting close, it had turned into something more, something deeper. Dean had edged it along when he could, and he had finally managed to convince Charlie to ask Jess out when he had been certain that Jess was finally over Sam. Dean isn’t sure if he’s over Sam, but Jess deserves more than mooning over his idiot brother for the rest of her life.

“And… she said yes!” Charlie says, beaming.

“That’s great Charlie,” Dean says, smiling at his best friend. “Where are you going?”

As Charlie details her plans, Dean lets his mind drift for a few seconds. Even if they hadn’t gone on any dates yet, Charlie’s eyes are soft and fond as she talks about what she wants to do with the other woman. Dorothy and Gilda running off together had been a massive blow to her, and Dean had helped as much as he could to help heal his friend. It had been something to distract him, since it happened a few days before Sam left with Ruby to America. Without anything to take his attention, Dean fears that the darkness of those days might have driven him to alcohol and the warm anonymity of anyone who would share his bed.

Dean sighs softly as he listens to Charlie’s plans. They are far more thought out than any of Dean’s, and he hopes that Cas hadn’t been expecting something as detailed as what Charlie is planning out. He shakes it off. Cas had been happy when Dean had dropped him off, Dean is sure of that.

Charlie crashes in her room, and Dean tries to go to sleep himself. His bed is too big, and even though he needs to go to sleep – he has work tomorrow – he can’t. They hadn’t drunk anything, and that just makes his thoughts clearer.

Cas would fit perfectly lying at his side.

A shiver of unease washes over Dean. He can’t remember wanting to spend as much time with someone, _ever_. It’s unsettling. He doesn’t really get it. Okay, he gets it. Cas is smart and funny in his own, dead pan way, thinks about things, cares about the penguins, and is ridiculously attractive. Dean wants to spend more time with him, but he’s leaving. On Sunday. Fuck.

Dean sighs and rolls over onto his side. Cas’s wide, blue eyes look back at him until he blinks, and then his sheets are empty again.

Dean grits his teeth and closes his eyes, forcing himself to fade into the darkness of sleep.

~*~*~*~

_April_

Dean’s about to go out for his run around the island to check up on all of the penguins when Cas walks through the resort’s doors. He startles slightly as Cas’s eyes land on him almost immediately. His hair is tousled from the wind outside, and it’s sticking up in all different directions as he walks across the main floor, avoiding the few tourists who had decided to see what the resort does in the day time. Dean curbs the urge to touch him and keeps his hands to himself.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean greets him. “Didn’t expect to see you around.”

Cas looks vaguely abashed. “I know you’re working now…”

“It’s fine,” Dean says. He grabs Cas’s hand and leads him outside. He leans up against his buggy and pulls Cas in next to him. It’s warm if windy, and Dean pulls his sunglasses down over his eyes. His hat’s in the car, and he’ll grab that as soon as he gets in. The sun is unforgiving.

“What are you doing today?” Cas asks him.

“Just going around, checking up on the penguins. If I see any rubbish, I pick it up, any injured birds, I bring ‘em back to Jess, and just make sure that everyone is okay. Pretty simple, really.”

Cas nods slowly. “Can I…” He trails off, but Dean thinks he knows what he’s trying to ask.

“You can come along if you want,” Dean offers, and Cas’ eyes crinkle in that smile of his that doesn’t touch his lips.

“Yes please,” Cas returns.

Dean goes to the back and pumps some of the sunscreen he has there out of its two litre container. He comes back and starts smearing it all over Cas, who startles and then lets Dean put it on him. Dean rubs it all over his face, then across his ears and down his neck. Cas’s eyebrows start to lift when he starts rubbing his fingers under his shirt.

Dean winks at him and then puts some more on his arms, rubbing between his fingers and up to his shoulders. Then he returns to the boot and brings out a hat to put on Cas’s head, a floppy one with a wide brim. The entire thing is done in under a minute, with nearly no time for complaint.

“I don’t have an extra pair of sunnies,” Dean apologises. He gets in and pulls his own hat on as Cas gets in the passenger side.

“That’s fine,” Cas says agreeably. Dean drives out onto the road before Benny can see that he has a passenger.

Cas seems genuinely interested in what Dean’s doing. He keeps up his slow pace of twenty kilometres an hour, to make sure that he doesn’t run into any wildlife, and keeps his eyes open for any burrows that are on the trail. Even if there weren’t any last week, there could be some this week. Unlikely, but still possible.

Cas asks him questions about his job, what he does, and how long he’s been doing it. Dean remembers that Jo told him that Cas is a vet, and he asks Cas, delighted to see the other man’s cheeks flush slightly.

“Yes, I am. Who told you?”

“Jo, when I was over there.” He doesn’t mention that Jo also said that Cas is loaded. Dean had already guessed that, from how Cas just took a trip around the world.

“I specialise in birdlife, especially penguins. It’s why I wanted to stay here, instead of in the city. I know it is one of the places in Australia where the penguins are so easy to get to and see.”

“Huh,” Dean says, looking at Cas for a second. They’re heading up to the cliffs, and then down to where the penguins nest fairly thickly. When they get to the top, he cuts the engine and gets out, a concerned looking Cas getting out behind him.

“Dean?” He asks. “What’s wrong? What did you see?” He’s obviously looking around for something, and isn’t expecting Dean to come around behind him and pick him up, arms under his knees and shoulders. Cas squawks and squirms a bit, but Dean simply tightens his hold on him and walks up the stairs to the lookout point.

Dean puts him down when they’re up the top, and Cas huffs at him. “Was that really necessary?”

“It was necessary for me,” Dean replies, sneaking in a kiss to his nose. Cas wraps a hand around his neck and brings him in close, locking their lips together.

Cas melts into him, and Dean runs his hands down his sides to come to rest on his hips, pressing them together. Dean doesn’t let him escape, even when Cas makes a small sound against his mouth. He finally leans back when Cas hits him over the head. Dean smirks at him and Cas rolls his eyes.

“Look,” he says, pointing out to sea. Dean turns around and sees several dolphins breaching the surf and jumping among the waves.

“Yeah, they’re around here sometimes,” Dean says. He nips Cas’s ear and Cas lifts an eyebrow at him, making Dean blush slightly. They stand there for a few more minutes, watching the dolphins and the sea, before Dean starts walking back to the buggy, pulling Cas along behind him.

Dean goes even slower through the next part of the island. He points out the small burrows as he passes them, and they even see one penguin with their head poking out, seeing what the loud noise is. Other than that, it’s a simple check-up. Dean doesn’t see any evidence that there’s been anyone else coming through this part of the island, and so he can relax and enjoy being outside with Cas in the fresh, sea air. They talk, and Dean finds himself falling for the small smiles Cas gives him and the way his hands move when he talks about something he thinks is interesting.

Neither of them talk about Cas leaving in a few days.

It’s mid-afternoon by the time they get back to the resort, and the preparations for the night’s Parade are already starting. Dean’s on the early shift, so he won’t be heading back home too late. Cas bids him farewell before hesitantly leaning up to kiss him. Dean keeps it light so he isn’t tempted to start assaulting Cas’s mouth in the car park.

Benny is with him on standby duty for the main Parade, so he goes down there to help him clean up the stands from anything the people from last night might have left. Every time he does this he gets a sour taste in the back of his throat, looking at all of the rubbish that people had so casually left behind to poison his environment. Today the bubble of happiness that comes from spending time with Cas is numbing it, but it’s still there.

Charlie comes down, and Dean is sure that she’s going to ask him what he was doing with Cas, because someone would have seen them together, and word would have gotten around to Charlie. Just as she’s approaching, his phone rings.

Dean narrows his eyes at it when there are no contact details on the screen, and Charlie raises an eyebrow at him, asking who it is silently. Dean shrugs and answers.

“Dean Winchester speaking,” he says, wondering who would be calling him. Probably a wrong number.

“Dean Winchester, I’m glad I got you. You’re listed here as the emergency contact for Sam Winchester?”

Dean hadn’t known that his brother had put him as the emergency contact, but his feelings about that are overwhelmed by his sudden fear for his brother. Why would someone be calling him about Sam if Sam weren’t in trouble?

“Yes,” Dean answers. Charlie must have seen something in his face, because she hurries up to him, a worried pinch to her features.

“I’m John Keeper, head of Law at Stanford University. Your brother was just admitted to a hospital half an hour ago, suffering from a drug overdose. He is currently unconscious, and we need to talk to you about some of the procedures that may be required.”

“What do you need?” Dean asks, his voice shaky. Charlie is touching his arm lightly, but he shakes it off. He’s talked through several questions about his brother’s medical history, things that Stanford doesn’t have on file. Dean keeps his mind blank, answering the questions as best he can without thinking about the reason that the answers are needed. Charlie’s face has gone pale, and Dean closes his eyes so he doesn’t have to see it.

“Your brother should be out of hospital soon. We’ll call you as soon as he is.”

“Thanks,” Dean says unevenly. He doesn’t know what to think. The man hangs up, and Dean lets his arm fall slowly.

Charlie doesn’t say anything. She knows him.

Several thoughts go through Dean’s head at once, and he swears, making Charlie wince slightly.

“That _bitch_ ,” he grounds out. A picture of Ruby fills his mind, and he wants to stab her.

“Who?” Charlie asks.

“Ruby. I fucking _knew_ she was no good. I _knew_ she was going to get Sam into trouble.” Dean grinds his palms into his eyes, trying to distract himself from his growing headache.

“Dean,” Charlie starts, probably going to try to reason with him.

“Do you know what time it is there?” Dean asks her. “Two o’clock. In the morning. That’s when I’m being called.”

“Dean,” Charlie says, louder.

“I am so done with his bullshit,” Dean continues.

“Dean!” Charlie shouts. Dean finally looks at her. There’s worry in her eyes, and Dean remembers that Sam was her friend as well.

“Sam’s going to be fine,” she tells him. “As soon as he wakes up, he’ll call you, I’m sure of it. Don’t worry.”

Telling him not to worry is like telling a fish not to swim, and she knows that.

Dean spends the rest of the night brooding, checking his phone every few minutes and trying not to scowl at the customers. He stays behind to lock up even though he doesn’t have to, and when he’s at home and Sam _still_ hasn’t called, Dean feels like he’s being slowly torn apart. He wants to catch the first flight to America and bring Sam home, back to Australia where he belongs, with Dean, but he can’t. He can’t afford tickets to America and back. Sam only got over there because of his scholarship.

Dean doesn’t even try to sleep, and when the morning rolls around, he swallows about a litre of coffee and heads off to work. Everyone knows by now what’s happened, and Charlie doesn’t even ask about it, seeing the shadows under his eyes and knowing the answer already.

The call comes when Dean’s on his lunch break. He’s looking at the food in front of him, not wanting to eat and not wanting to lie and fall asleep on the sandwich either.

His phone starts buzzing.

Dean snatches it up so fast he thinks he may have managed to break the sound barrier. **Sam** is flashing on the screen, and he shakily presses the button to answer the call.

“Sam?” Dean asks, not really believing that Sam is on the other end of the line. The chasm between them is something that’s grown to be something insurmountable over the last year, and their relationship hasn’t been stable since Ruby entered the picture, about a year and a half ago.

“Hey Dean.” His brother’s voice is flat and distant. The small hope that Dean had been carrying that Sam might have wanted an excuse to call shrivels.

“Stanford called,” he says.

“I know.” Sam sounds tired. He should be tired, after having an overdose. He’s probably still in the hospital.

“Are you okay?” Dean’s protective drives are working overtime, but they have nothing to work on. Sam isn’t here.

“I will be,” Sam tells him.

There’s a tense silence. “They told me you overdosed.”

Sam sighs and doesn’t say anything, and in that silence, Dean hears the confirmation of it.

“Fuck, Sam. Was it Ruby? Were the police right about her?”

“You don’t know anything about Ruby, Dean,” Sam says, completely confident in his own judgement. Dean wants to wack him upside the head for the arrogance of it.

“Did. You get. The drugs. From Ruby?” Dean asks slowly, drawing the words out, so it’s clear what he’s saying.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sam tells him. Dean wants to scream at him, _Of course it matters!_ , but he controls himself and swallows the words. They sit heavily in his stomach.

“I need help, Dean.” Sam tells him, each word painful because of how obvious it is that Sam doesn’t want to say them.

Dean wants to punch someone, and someone’s name is Ruby. “What with?”

There’s another silence that becomes drawn out. “I need money.”

 _Fuck his entire life._ “For the drugs?” Dean asks, voice rough and low.

“Yeah,” Sam answers. Dean lets out a breath and runs a hand through his hair.

“How much?”

There’s another pause, and Dean realises that he doesn’t want to know how much debt Sam has.

“Forty thousand.”

Dean lets out another breath and tries not to swear.

“And they need a family member here to sign me out of the hospital if I want to get out before the drugs are out of my system. Dean, that’s probably going to be a month, and that’s going to be a crazy amount in hospital bills.”

Dean breathes in.

“Fine,” he bites out. “But you’re coming back here with me, Sam. You’re not staying in America. I’ll bring the money, but you’re transferring back to MU, got it?”

Sam doesn’t say anything, and Dean is suddenly certain that he’s going to refuse, and Dean’s going to bring him the money anyway. God help him, but he couldn’t leave his little brother in trouble.

“Fine,” Sam says. “Fine.”

“Good,” Dean tells him. “I’ll call.” He ends the call, without waiting for Sam’s reply. He sits there with his head in his hands for a long time, and then he gets up to go and find Benny and ask for time off.

~*~*~*~

Dean’s looking at flight prices to California, and they’re making his foul mood worse. Everything is too expensive for the little money he has. He’d be able to fly there, but not fly back, and not pay what Sam needs for the hospital either, at least not seriously cutting into the savings that he’d stored up over the years. And by ‘cut’ he means all of it. And then some.

It’s getting late, and Dean hasn’t slept in two days, but he doesn’t care. He takes another swallow of whiskey, the burn in his throat echoing the anger simmering in his gut.

The doorbell rings.

Dean blinks and goes to open the door, wondering who it is. If it’s a salesperson, Dean is going to punch them.

But instead of finding a person in a business suit with a clipboard out and ready to barrage him with facts, he finds Cas standing on his porch.

Dean blinks a few times. He’s sure that he’s not _that_ drunk, so Cas must be on his porch. Except Cas doesn’t know where he lives. And Dean looks like the wreck that he is, so Cas is probably about two seconds from reconsidering their whole relationship, and then running for the rental car parked behind Dean’s Jeep.

“Dean?” Cas asks. His voice is full of concern, and Dean doesn’t know what to do with it. He considers shutting the door in his face, but when he tries to step back – to let Cas in or not, he isn’t sure yet – the world sways, and he leans up against his wall, trying not to pass out.

Cas is by his side immediately. He puts Dean’s arm over his shoulder and helps him back in to the lounge room, which is at the end of the hall running from his door. Cas sits him down and then sits next to him. Dean can’t help but lean on him, tiredly conforming to his shape.

“What am I going to do, Cas?” Dean asks. He realises his voice is slightly slurred, and thinks that maybe he’s had more to drink than he originally thought. Cas doesn’t say anything, simply curling an arm around Dean. “How did you even know I live here?” Passes through his lips, before his eyes slide closed and he passes out.

~*~*~*~

Castiel looks down at the snoring man on his shoulder. He hasn’t known Dean for very long, but it already feels like they know each other well. Castiel suspects that Dean has problems falling asleep when other people are nearby, and the fact that he did within five minutes of Cas pushing the doorbell means something to him.

There’s an almost empty bottle of whiskey sitting next to the open laptop on the small computer desk, and Castiel hopes that that wasn’t full when Dean started drinking. By the amount of whiskey that Castiel can smell on his breath however, he thinks it may have been.

Dean is sliding into the deep stupor of those who haven’t slept and those who have passed out from alcohol. By the shadows under his eyes, Castiel is going to hedge a bet on both of them. He frowns slightly. Charlie had said that Dean had gotten some hard news and may need cheering up, but she hadn’t said anything else. Castiel is sure that that’s the only reason she gave him Dean’s address.

Castiel slowly moves until Dean is supporting himself on the couch. Then he goes hunting, trying to find Dean’s bedroom. There’s one bedroom that looks lived in, but when Castiel opens the top drawer of the dresser to see if it is Dean’s, there’s an array of make-up and a hairbrush that has long, red hair in it. So this isn’t Dean’s room, then.

He keeps searching until he finds it. There’s a double bed taking up most of the space, but there’s also a beanbag in one corner and a small table that could fit the computer in the living room. The walls are plastered with surfing posters and rock posters, old concert advertisements for Led Zeppelin and Metallica contrasting against the vibrant blue of the ocean and gold of the sand. Castiel starts slightly when he recognises Dean in one of the posters. He doesn’t know how the photographer got the shot, but Castiel isn’t complaining. Dean’s surfing in the middle of a wave, standing upright with his knees bent on his black board, although you can hardly see the intricate designs painted onto it. He’s looking outwards slightly, not directly at the camera, but enough to see the look in his eyes. They’re focused and alive, and look slightly blue, probably from the wave that is curling over his head. The caption is advertising the local surfing championships, asking if anyone would be able to beat their three year winner. With another glance at the younger Dean in the poster, Castiel realises that the champion must be him. When he looks, he sees that the poster is dated for nine years ago. Dean must have been a teenager in the photo.

Castiel returns to the lounge room, where Dean’s slumped over on the lounge. He worms his arms under the other man and picks him up, grunting at the effort that it takes. He takes him to his room, walking quickly so he wouldn’t have to hold him for long. He puts Dean down on his bed, trying not to make it too sudden, but Dean is oblivious to it. He arranges him in the recovery position, not wanting him to choke on his own vomit if he throws up when he’s still unconscious, but he doesn’t leave.

He hesitates next to the bed. He doesn’t want Dean to be alone in case something happens, but it’s late, and Castiel doesn’t want to stay up for the entire night. He slowly takes his shoes and socks off and puts them next to the door. Then he takes most of his other clothes off, leaving him in his shirt and boxers. Dean hasn’t moved, and Castiel doesn’t think he will.

He slowly climbs onto the bed next to Dean. _Only because I want him to be safe_ , Castiel tells himself. It has nothing to do with the fact that he’s leaving in a few days and he finds himself unwilling to go. It’s more than wanting to avoid going home, although he’s already received several texts from Balthazar urging him to make his residence in Australia permanent just so he avoid ever having to come home and deal with his older siblings. He wants to stay with Dean, he wants to learn more about this man who has him so intrigued with not only the life here, but a _life_ here. He’s beginning to understand why all those other countries didn’t hold the same appeal that this small town does, and it’s more than the penguins that he could work with if he got a job here. It’s Dean.

Castiel’s never been in a relationship before, but he can almost imagine what it wold be like now. Dean had surprised him so much when he kissed him on the beach, and Castiel would admit that is had been a good first kiss. Dean had tasted like salt, the sea mixed with his own sweat. He looks at the man next to him and bites his lip. He’s certain that it wasn’t Dean’s first kiss, but Dean must be twenty five or six, so Castiel can’t blame him.

Castiel sighs and runs a hand through his hair. He doesn’t want to go back to the house where he grew up. His year long trip with Balthazar is at its end, and Castiel is dreading facing Michael and Lucifer again. He knows that as soon as he arrives back in America they would find a way to meet with him, even with all the police ‘protection’ that he and his siblings qualify for. His two oldest brothers don’t understand his degree or what he’s interested in. All they understand is the business, and they would be working on getting Castiel to join even now. They would have plans in motion for all of the Novak siblings.

Castiel tries to put it out of his mind. He’d think about it later, when Dean isn’t so close and doesn’t smell so good, even with the layers of whisky over the top. Closing his eyes, he tries to fall asleep, attempting to not revel in Dean’s nearness.

~*~*~*~

Dean wakes groggily. At first he refuses to open his eyes, not wanting his already pounding headache to get any worse. He rolls over, and feels someone else in his bed. Did he go pick someone up last night? Everything’s a blur after the second bottle of whiskey got opened, and he would have been in no state to drive. Nonetheless, there’s someone in his bed.

Bracing himself to see some random stranger lying next to him, he cracks his eyes open, blinking a few times to clear them. To his bewilderment, Cas appears in front of him, sleeping soundly. Dean blinks a few more times to make sure this isn’t a dream, then pinches himself. Cas doesn’t disappear, and he still needs to go to the toilet. It must be real then.

How on earth had Cas gotten here? He didn’t have Dean’s address, and Dean doesn’t have his phone number. He attempts to sit up, and winces when a lightning bolt goes through his head. Ugh, he’s hurting and regretting last night’s drinking now.

He stands up and wobbles his way to the bathroom, where he has a cold shower and attempts to make himself presentable. He’s sure he fails, but he just wants to go back to sleep, so he heads back to his room. Halfway there chills start to race over him, and he shivers, hurrying to get back to his room. He gets under the covers and wriggles over next to Cas, who’s warm and lax. Just as he settles down, Cas takes a deeper breath and his eyes open slowly.

Dean blushes slightly but doesn’t move. He’s cold and shivering, and Cas looks at him in concern.

“Dean?” He asks, voice rougher than normal. “Are you alright?”

“Cold,” Dean mutters.

Cas slings an arm over him and pulls him closer. “You are cold,” Cas says, surprised. Dean just huddles miserably in his warmth, wanting his headache to go away and his stomach to feel normal again.

Dean drifts off again, and when he wakes up he’s sweating. The blankets he had pulled over himself now seem excessive, and he kicks them off. Cas lets him go when he sits up, and Dean doesn’t look at him. Shit, Cas probably thinks he’s some sort of alcoholic. The question of how Cas even got to his house surfaces again, and he turns to look at him.

“Are you feeling better?” Cas asks. Dean looks at the time. It’s almost eleven, and he’s starving.

“Hungry, but feeling better,” Dean answers. He stands and stretches. “I’m going to go and take another shower. You can just…” Dean waves around a hand before grabbing some clothes and heading towards the bathroom. Okay. That wasn’t too awkward.

He showers again and finally feels like a human being once more. He comes out to see Cas looking through his cupboards, and a wave of longing hits him over the head.

He wants this. He wants to wake up with Cas in his bed and in his home. He doesn’t want to be alone, and he doesn’t want to cope with the fallout of Sam’s decisions by himself. He wants to wake up to Cas next to him and have his ridiculously fluffed up hair to greet him in the morning.

Shit, he’s so screwed.

Cas looks over to him, and Dean smiles weakly.

“Hey.”

“Hello.”

There doesn’t seem to be much else Dean can say, so he walks over to Cas and closes the cupboard door. “I can make brunch if you’d like?”

Cas lights up slightly. “I would like that.”

So Dean starts getting out eggs and bread and cooking utensils. Cas insists on helping, so Dean asks him to take over toasting the bread and chopping up tomatoes and mushrooms. It isn’t long before there are two heaped plates sitting side by side on the bench, and Dean wonders at how well they work together.

Cas takes one plate and sits at the counter. Dean sits down next to him and starts inhaling his food. Cas watches him with amused eyes, the skin at their corners crinkling slightly.

“Dude, how did you even get here last night?” Dean asks between putting food into his mouth.

Cas looks down at his plate. “Charlie called me and told me that something had gone wrong, and that you might need cheering up. She gave me the address.”

Dean stops chewing, feeling himself laid bare under the careful scrutiny of Cas’ piercing blue eyes. Cas isn’t pressing for details, would not ask, but Dean can see that he wants to help, however he can. Just like he probably helped put Dean to bed last night and didn’t argue this morning when he said he was cold.

Dean shrugs with one shoulder. “It’s my brother. He got admitted to hospital two days ago. Overdose.”

“Is he alright?” Cas asks him, concern written on his face. Dean does his best to ignore it, hoping that if he doesn’t see the best parts of Cas, it’ll hurt less when he leaves.

“The doctors say he’ll be fine, but he has to have someone in his family sign him out of the hospital before he’s clean who’ll take responsibility for him. Since I’m the only family he has, I have to do it, but there’s no way I can afford a plane over there and back.” Dean sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Not to mention that Sam needs money for the drugs. I don’t want to know how he’s holding them off now. I’m bringing him back here, whatever it takes,” Dean promises, leaning back and popping his spine. “I just need a cheap flight over there.”

Cas looks pensive for a few seconds as he digests the information. “Where is Sam?” He asks.

“He’s at Stanford. Got a full ride,” Dean replies, grudging admiration creeping into his voice.

Cas blinks then huffs and shakes his head. “I went to Stanford as well, but that was mostly because it was the best school near where I lived. My brothers… worry,” Cas says, after a long pause, and Dean is sure that isn’t what he means.

“You still live in California? With all the travelling that you do, I’d think that you moved around where you lived as well.” Dean asks.

Cas shakes his head. “No, I’ve lived in Cali all my life. And since Balthazar went home early, I still have two plane tickets. To Palo Alto.”

Dean looks over at him and Cas’s mouth edges into a smile. “Are you serious?” Dean asks.

Cas nods. “What a strange coincidence,” he murmurs.

“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Dean counters. When Cas tilts his head at him, Dean feels like he needs to explain. “The chances are just too crazy that that just _happened._ ”

“So someone planned it? Who?”

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know. I just know that for once, they’re not screwing me over completely.”

~*~*~*~

Dean helps Cas pack, and he drops his rental car off early. Dean calls Charlie and tells her what’s happening, and she’s silent for a moment when he reveals that because Balthazar left early, Cas has an extra plane ticket.

“That’s nuts,” she says.

“I know.”

“The Universe is giving you more chances to be with him, Dean. Don’t waste it. You said he was looking to move, convince him to move here! You’re gone on him, I can tell.”

“It’s his life Charlie,” Dean mutters. “Look, just let Benny know I’m going to be back soon, okay?”

“Benny doesn’t care when you get back, just as long as you and Sam are safe,” Charlie tells him. “You’ve got all the time you need, Dean.”

Dean thanks her and hangs up. He doesn’t pack much for himself besides a toothbrush and some extra clothes. He isn’t planning on staying in California for long.

Dean drives them to Melbourne. He can park in the Roadhouse’s car park for a week. Dean thinks that Ellen wants Sam back almost as much as he does, and when he had told her what had happened, she had been silent for nearly a minute, then she told him to go and pick Sam up right that second.

Dean gets out at the Roadhouse, and Cas does as well, looking at the bar. It used to be only the first storey of the building that it’s in, but a few years ago Ellen bought the four levels above it, and now the Roadhouse is a place to stay as well as somewhere to go to eat good food.

They’re just in time for dinner, and Dean flashes a smile at Cas. For some reason the other man had stuck around during these last few days, listening seriously and offering Dean his extra plane ticket like it was nothing. He shoves his hands into his pockets and walks across to the entrance, Cas following him.

Ellen is behind the bar, like normal. Dean spots a seat in the corner, one of the booths, and he goes over to it. Cas slides into the seat opposite him. He’s still looking around. Dean hasn’t told him much besides that Ellen is his foster mother, and he looks interested in where Dean had lived for a year.

“Ellen runs the bar every night,” Dean tells him. “If anyone starts any shit, she throws them out herself.”

Cas blinks and a thoughtful look appears on his face. “She’s dedicated to this establishment, then.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Dean orders his usual when a waiter comes around and Cas looks over the menu, studying the choices intently. He eventually orders the same as Dean, and Dean nods.

“That’s the best thing on the menu,” Dean tells him.

“I thought so. You would know, doubtless having eaten here enough times to have had everything.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth curls up into a smile, and he nods. “Yeah, you could say that.”

He isn’t looking forward to saying goodbye to Cas, and if he judges the look in Cas’s eyes correctly, Cas isn’t looking forward to it either.

~*~*~*~

_“All passengers boarding the FQ518 flight from Melbourne to Palo Alto via Singapore please proceed to boarding lounge four.”_

Lounge four is crowded. There are people with American accents everywhere, and Dean’s having a hard time sticking close to Cas. The roiling of his stomach isn’t helping either, and he’s trying to shove down the urge to throw up, and they’re not even on the plane yet. He hasn’t been on a plane in years, and he isn’t happy about breaking his streak.

Cas looks over at him as they get in the line to board, and the space between his eyebrows crinkles as he looks at Dean in concern. “Are you feeling alight?”

“Yeah,” Dean replies shakily.

“You don’t look alright,” Cas tells him.

“I’m just…” Dean trails off and continues when Cas cocks his head. “I’m just scared of flying. Terrifies the shit out of me.”

“Oh,” Cas says. Then his eyes narrow. “Then why is Sam making you fly across?”

“Sam isn’t making me do anything,” Dean growls. “I am hauling his ass home as soon as I get there.”

“Alright,” Cas agrees, although Dean thinks he still looks concerned. However, it’s a bit hard to decipher Cas’s poker face when he’s concentrating on keeping his dinner down.

They scan their tickets and the woman lets them through. The crowded lanes in the plane aren’t making his feeling of claustrophobia any better.

Cas must see his face paling, because he deposits Dean in a seat. It must be theirs, because Cas then puts his luggage up above him. Dean closes his eyes to try and calm himself down.

Dean feels his seat move a little as Cas sits down next to him. Almost without his consent, his hand finds Cas’s and grips it tightly. Cas startles slightly, but doesn’t try to take his hand away.

“You’re going to be fine, Dean,” Cas tells him, and Dean finds himself relaxing marginally at his low voice. He puts his earphones in with his one remaining hand and starts the song list already on standby. Cas doesn’t comment, but he squeezes Dean’s hand slightly.

Dean thinks that with Cas here, it’s going to be a little bit easier to get through the trip.

~*~*~*~

He’s right. Cas does make it easier.

He only throws up twice, once when they’d hit some turbulence for half an hour over the ocean, and once when they’re landing for the second time in America. The stopover had been hell, but thankfully it had only been for forty minutes, and they hadn’t had to get off the plane.

Dean staggers off the plane and into the airport. He leans up against the wall for a few minutes, and then Cas touches his shoulder. Dean cracks an eye open to look at him. Cas is smiling softly, and he has Dean’s carry-on bag with him.

“You left this behind in your haste to get out,” Cas tells him. “Will you wait here while I get my luggage?”

Dean nods, and Cas disappears into the crush of people. Dean slowly feels better, and by the time Cas comes back, he’s got his back up against the wall and is watching people pass by. There are so many people in the airport, and Dean is once again reminded that California has more people in the one state than Australia has in the entire country.

“How are you getting to the hospital?” Cas asks him.

“One of Sam’s friends said they’d pick me up,” Dean tells him. He picks up his and Cas’s carry on and starts walking towards the entrance. Cas follows, and they’re standing outside too soon. Pickups are one way, and Dean can see the sign for the bus in the other direction, which is what he guesses Cas will be taking.

“So…” Dean says, not really sure what to say.

“Thank you for taking me around your island,” Cas says simply, and Dean is hit by the urge to stay in contact with him, which is crazy. Cas is going to move to some country far away and never think of him again. Even so, Dean finds himself digging through his pockets for a pen and a scrap of paper. He pulls them out and scrawls his number on the paper.

Cas’s eyes widen slightly when Dean gives it to him. “My number,” Dean says needlessly. Cas’s eyes crinkle, and he tucks it into his wallet.

“I see.”

Dean ducks his head to meet Cas as he moves upwards. Dean leans into the kiss, trying to commit his taste to memory. He doesn’t think he’ll be seeing Cas for a while, or maybe never again. All he knows is that Cas has gotten him to see how closed off he is. He’ll try to change that, he thinks to himself.

“Hey, get out of the way,” a man says as he walks past, bumping Dean even closer to Cas. Cas smiles at him softly, and Dean feels him put something in his pocket. He raises his eyebrows, but Cas only smiles softly.

“Don’t open it until later.”

Dean frowns for a second but nods once. “Okay.”

They stand there for another few seconds, staring, until Cas speaks.

“Farewell, Dean.”

“See ya, Cas,” Dean says. Cas takes a step back, not breaking eye contact. He finally turns, and lifts his hand, saying goodbye. Dean feels something lodge in his throat, and he makes himself turn around to where people could pick up travellers. He had known that Cas was leaving. _Known_ it. So why are his eyes watering?

He angrily wipes at them and goes to find his ride.

~*~*~*~

Castiel leaves the airport, and heads towards the bus station. He’s still humming from the kiss and from being in the city that he knows, and he can almost feel the slip of paper with Dean’s phone number on it burning a hole in his wallet.

It takes time to navigate the crowded streets, and it doesn’t take long before Castiel is cursing the mob of people. He’s sure that California has more people in it than all of Australia, and he’s also sure that every one of them is on this street at this second.

Someone hits him from behind, and Castiel feels a hand in his pocket.

“Hey!” He calls out after the boy that had just taken his wallet. “Thief!”

There’s a mill as people look around, but Castiel has lost him in the crush of people, and he grits his teeth. There are two police officers walking towards him, and after asking him a few questions, they tell him that they’ll call him if they find it, which they won’t. He despondently walks towards the bus station and purchases a ticket with the ten dollars he had had in his other pocket. At least it was enough to get him to where he would change to the bus that would take him out to where he lives.

It’s only when the bus has already pulled out into the busy city traffic that Castiel remembers that Dean’s phone number was in his wallet.

“Shit,” he mutters lowly to himself.

~*~*~*~

“Sam, I’m not signing you out until you tell me what happened.”

Sam heaves a sigh and looks out the window. Dean refuses to cave. He hasn’t talked to his brother in over a year, and this conversation is reminding him of the reasons why.

“I told you,” Sam replies.

“You told me the bull you told the police. Tell me what actually happened Sam, or I’m going to leave right now.”

“Fine,” Sam mutters. He looks at the door, which is closed. There aren’t any other people in the room, so he doesn’t have a reason not to spill.

“It’s because of Ruby,” Sam starts, and Dean bites his tongue until he tastes blood. How many times had he told Sam that she was bad news?

“Did she give you the drugs?” Dean asks, because Sam is here because of an overdose.

There’s a stiff silence until Sam continues. “Yes,” he says tautly. “She did. Look, I was supposed to deliver some drugs to a supplier, and Ruby hit me with a needle and I blacked out. When I came to in here, there were several of the people there who I was meant to give the drugs to. I tried to tell them where it was, but they told me that Ruby had taken off with them, and that I needed to reimburse them.”

Dean runs a hand over his face. “Fuck, Sam.”

Sam looks down at his hands. “Yeah.”

“I have the money,” Dean tells him. It’s all of his savings plus some, but he had managed to borrow some from Charlie. She wouldn’t mind when he paid her back. “But you have to come home, Sam. That’s my price.”

Sam deflates a little. “I paid their fine, and I don’t have to go to gaol since they can’t prove I was intending to sell anything and they didn’t find anything at my apartment. I guess I should be happy for that, at least. Ruby cleared the place out.”

There’s a knock on the door, and Brady, the young man that had dropped Dean off, pokes his head in. “The doctors want to know if you’re signing him out.”

Dean looks at Sam. Sam swallows and then nods. “Yeah. He will.”

Brady nods and closes the door again. “We’re not done talking about this,” Dean warns.

“Okay,” Sam replies quietly. Dean shakes his head and leaves. Brady goes in as Dean sits down on one of the chairs in the hallway. His fingers find the thing that Cas had put in his pocket when he shoves his hands in his pockets, and he pulls it out. It’s an envelope, slightly crinkled now, but sealed. In a flowing cursive, ‘ _Dean’_ is written on the outside.

Dean frowns slightly and opens it. He unfolds the piece of paper inside. The first page is a note, written in the same cursive.

_I do not know exactly what happened with your brother, Dean, but I do know that you can’t afford to fly back to Melbourne. Take these as my thank you for taking me around the island and letting me catch a glimpse of what you do there._

_Castiel_

Dean looks at the next page, and his heart shudders and then beats quicker. It’s two plane tickets for tomorrow, headed from Palo Alto back to Melbourne. Dean bites his lip when he sees that it’s already been paid for.

He shakes his head slightly and puts it back in his pocket, then goes to find where he can sign Sam out of the hospital. He’s not letting his brother make mistakes that could have been prevented, and from now on, Dean’s going to take care of him, just like he should have been doing for the last year.

The tickets in his pocket seem heavier than they actually are.


	2. Chapter 2

_September_

The rock music streams through his car loudly. Dean nods his head to the beat, letting his music roll through him and wash off all his worries. When he gets home he’s going to have to deal with Sam, and he doesn’t want to think about that just yet. His brother is moping on the good days and downright bitter on the bad ones.

The house on the beach that Dean had been eyeing up has been bought, and Dean’s not surprised. He looks at it for a second when he drives past, and sees that the new owner has already begun moving in. There are boxes on the front porch, stacked precisely next to the closed door. The owner must be out, exploring their new town. Dean doubts that anyone would try and take their stuff. It’s quiet in Rhyll.

He sighs as he passes it. Buying it was just a fantasy, anyway. He’s still in debt to Charlie, even though he’s been taking shifts at the Roadhouse over the last six months. It means that he gets little sleep, and little time at home with Sam. Sam works at the Roadhouse as well, but they rarely get shifts at the same time.

Dean is sure that Sam needs help, and he’s also sure that Sam won’t accept it from him. Dean also knows that he doesn’t have any money for a rehab program. He’s been trying to help Sam on his own, but he doesn’t think it’s working.

He pulls up outside his house, and frowns when he sees someone making their way towards his door. They’ve stopped, probably because they heard his Jeep, and Dean narrows his eyes as he tries to place the figure. They seem familiar.

Dean gets out of the car and walks around to his driveway, only to freeze. The man has turned around, and Dean realises why he looks so familiar.

Cas’s eyes are still piercing blue. That hasn’t faded over the past six months, and Dean finds himself stunned. He hasn’t been remembering them wrong, after all.

Cas swallows. Dean can see it from where he’s standing.

“Cas?” Dean asks, and he’s proud of the fact that his voice doesn’t tremble. Cas didn’t call. Not once, in six months, and he thinks he can just show up at Dean’s house? His jaw tightens as he looks at him.

Cas starts walking towards him slowly. When he’s close enough so they can talk, he stops.

“Hello Dean,” he says in that deep voice of his, and Dean stops the quiet longing that had started in his chest.

“What are you doing here?” His voice comes out rougher than he had thought it would, and Cas flinches slightly.

“Dean, I…”

“What, you think you can show up at my house after six months of fuck all? That’s not how it works, Cas.”

Cas nods sharply, once. “I know. I’ve just come to apologise.”

Dean blinks and his eyes narrow. “For what?”

Cas looks down at the ground. “I lost your phone number. It was in my wallet, and it was stolen as I made my way back to my house. I am truly sorry.”

Dean doesn’t move. He looks Cas up and down. He doesn’t seem to be lying, but Dean wants to believe him, and that’s skewing his judgement.

“Right,” he eventually says. “So why are you here? I’m sure you didn’t fly across the ocean just to talk to me.”

“No,” Cas says. “I received a job offer at the Wildlife Clinic, and I took it. I bought a house and am currently in the process of moving in.”

Dean feels his stomach sink. The house he had always wanted to live in. Cas had bought the place, Dean knows it.

“I simply wanted to come over and talk, Dean,” Cas tells him, a slight pleading tone entering his voice. “I only flew in today and – ”

“And what?” Dean asks him.

Cas flounders for a moment. “I just wanted to know how you are, and how Sam is.”

“We’re fine,” Dean says, even though he’s sure that they’re not fine. “You should go and keep unpacking.”

Cas sees the dismissal for what it is. His forehead crinkles and he shifts his weight between his feet before nodding jerkily. “Very well. I hope I will see you soon.”

“Don’t count on it,” Dean tells him, and Cas’s shoulders tighten. He turns, but before he can start walking, Dean opens his mouth. “Cas.”

Cas turns around, eyes flat. “Thanks for the tickets for back home,” Dean says gruffly. He’s not that much of a dick that he isn’t going to thank him for the flight back to Aus.

Cas’s eyes soften slightly and he nods before turning again. Dean doesn’t watch as he walks back down the road. Instead he goes inside and closes the door after him, sliding down against it and putting his head in his hands.

~*~*~*~

“So why have you been avoiding the Clinic lately?” Charlie asks him. “You normally don’t mind going down there.”

Dean shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant. “I haven’t been avoiding it.”

“Um, yes you have. Last week you told Benny you couldn’t drive down there to check on the penguins he was asking over because you had to watch over Krissy. Dean, Krissy’s been here for a year now. She knows what’s going on. And yesterday you turned down Garth’s offer to go down there with some deliveries, even though on Wednesday you were telling me that you wanted to spend more time with him. And just then when Annie chose someone to go down there, you hid in the supply closet so she wouldn’t see you. Yes, I did see that. So, why are you avoiding the Clinic? Did you have a falling out with Jo or something?”

“No,” Dean mutters. He hasn’t spoken with Jo since Cas had arrived besides a few curt texts to her, telling her that he and Sam were fine. But she wants a lift to the Roadhouse tonight because she’s spending the weekend there, and Dean works on Fridays, because the tips are usually good. Dean’s sure that she’s going to ask him about Cas.

“So then why?” Charlie presses.

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Dean Winchester, don’t you lie to me,” Charlie warns. Dean shrugs again. She narrows her eyes. “I will find out what’s got you so on edge lately,” she continues, before walking off. Dean sighs quietly and rubs a hand over his face.

How on earth is he meant to tell Charlie that Cas showed up on his doorstep? It’s giving him a headache just thinking about it. Just thinking about _Cas._

He’s had plenty of time over the last few months to think about Cas. Dean had finally just written him off as a rich know it all that was looking for a fling. Except they’d only kissed. There hadn’t even been any groping. Dean groans to himself and finds a box of penguin magnets to put out. He needs something repetitive to do so he doesn’t have to think.

So he came back. So what? He’s got a job here, and honestly, who would turn it down? He’s a vet who specialises in birdlife, and the conservation program at the Clinic would make sure that he had plenty of money and the penguins always needed more help. He said he’d lost his phone number, and Dean is starting to think that it might have been the truth. He hadn’t come around, hadn’t turned up at work, hadn’t been at the Parade. He’d been trying to stay out of Dean’s way, and that doesn’t seem like someone who’s in it for the sex. Dean shakes his head and sighs quietly. Maybe he’d been overreacting. Maybe. But even if he had been, there isn’t a space in his life for Cas right now. Sam and work is taking up all of his time. As soon as he’s paid off Charlie he’s going to quit working at the Roadhouse. The late night shifts are really taking a toll on his sleeping time, and he has no spare time whatsoever.

No time for Cas.

He grits his teeth and starts unpacking the penguins faster. Maybe he’s gotten to the root of the problem. No time to spend with Cas, even if he _had_ wanted to spend the time with him.

Dean sighs and stops, staring at the magnets. There are far too many stuck to the display now, and he packs up the box of them and puts it away. He tries not to think of black hair and blue eyes.

~*~*~*~

“How’s Sam?” Jo asks. They’ve been driving for an hour, and exchanging small bits of news on the way.

“He’s getting better. I think,” Dean says. Dean is sure that Ellen doesn’t need two extra people working at the Roadhouse, but she offered them jobs without Dean having to ask, as soon as they got back from America. He’s certain that it’s both her way of looking after them, and a way to have them under her watch for several hours a week. Ellen is too good for them, even if she hides it under a mask of casual comments and silently offered help.

“That’s good. With the holidays coming up, there’s probably going to be more shifts, so you can pick and choose among them.”

“That’ll be nice.” Dean should have his debt to Charlie gone by the end of the holidays. It’ll be good to look at her and not have to think about it.

“Say, why haven’t you been around the Clinic lately?” Jo asks.

“No particular reason,” Dean tries to say, dodging the question, but Jo knows him too well.

“Dean?” She says, eyes narrowing. “You haven’t been avoiding coming down, have you?”

Dean doesn’t say anything, getting into the lane that would take him into Melbourne.

“This hasn’t got anything to do with Cas, has it?”

“It has _nothing_ to do with Cas,” Dean replies sharply, and even as he speaks, he knows he’s dug himself into a hole and now he’s gonna have to lie there as Jo piles the dirt back on top of him.

“If it had nothing to do with Cas, you probably wouldn’t even know Cas is here. He’s a hard one to read,” Jo says simply. “It’s like he’s playing poker all the time. I invited him to the Roadhouse tonight,” she adds casually.

Dean controls himself, just so he doesn’t run the car off the road. “You _what_?” He asks, disbelief in his voice.

“What, I can’t have friends?” Jo asks him. “I asked him if he wanted to come for drinks, and he said yes. When does your shift end?”

“Three,” Dean mutters.

“Are you spending the night?”

_Not now!_ He wants to shout, but Jo would hear that lie as well. “Yeah,” he tells her.

“Good, he is too,” she says. Dean wants to crash the car so he can get out of it. He really doesn’t want to meet up with Cas, not after he basically rejected him outside his house. How embarrassing.

“You on bar?”

“Yes.”

“Awesome,” Jo says, and Dean is certain he isn’t imagining the sinister note in her voice. Great. Now he’s going to have to put up with Jo trying to set him up all night.

Dean parks the Jeep in the Roadhouse’s car park and they get out. It’s prime time when they walk in, and Dean immediately gets behind the bar and washes his hands. Ellen is already there, and she gives the main spotlight to him immediately, and he in turn begins charming the three girls sitting at the bar. Everything’s going fine for half an hour, and that’s when Cas walks in.

Dean falters in the story he’s telling, but picks it up again with only a slight jolt in the sentence. One of the girls notice, and looks over at Cas, but Dean asks her a question to get her attention back on him. Cas hasn’t seen him yet.

Jo is sitting in a booth at the back, and Cas heads over there. Jo’s face is open and friendly, and a part of Dean calms slightly. Jo is a good judge of character – if she had been wary of Cas, then Dean would have taken a step back. But they seem to be getting on fine, even if Cas’s face is stiller than a stagnant pond. Dean’s been watching and he hasn’t smiled yet.

“Who’s over there?” One of the girls ask, and Dean yanks his eyes away from Cas.

“No one important,” he quickly covers. Ellen raises an eyebrow at him and looks over.

“Is that _Castiel_ with Jo?” She asks him.

Dean nods mutely and grabs a glass for a beer a man has just ordered.

“The Castiel that you dated for a few weeks and then never called you after he left for America?”

“Jeez Ellen, you make him sound skeevy.”

“He didn’t call you.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It matters to me.”

“It doesn’t to me.”

“Really?” Ellen’s voice is loaded and Dean flushes slightly. The girls are smiling at them and Dean flashes a strained smile at them.

“Yeah.”

“That is bullshit, boy.”

“Hey!”

“Don’t lie to me, Dean. I raised you, I can see right through you.”

Dean blusters for a second before grabbing some glasses to restock his supply on hand. The girls are laughing now, and Dean tells himself that they’re drunk.

“Go talk to him,” Ellen says, softer this time, so only he can hear.

“I’m on shift,” Dean shoots back.

Ellen rolls her eyes. “I’m sure I can function without you for five minutes.”

Dean licks his lips and looks over to where Jo has just gotten up. Probably to go to the bathroom.

Ellen pushes him out from behind the bar and Dean goes reluctantly. Cas is facing away from him, so he approaches the booth and then takes a breath. Dean blinks and then focuses on the one arm that he can see from where he’s standing. There’s a tattoo curling out from his shirt, ending just above his elbow. Dean can only see feathers, but he would bet that Cas has a set of wings under his shirt. Dean slides into the seat opposite Cas, who looks up from where he’s going through the menu.

Cas’s eyes widen. “Dean?” He asks.

“Hey Cas,” Dean says, picking at the wood of the table, so he doesn’t have to look at him.

“Why are you here?” Cas questions, startled, and Dean feels a touch of sadistic humour. That had been nearly the exact words that he’d said to Cas two weeks ago.

“I work here,” Dean says, flicking his eyes up for a second to see his reaction.

“You quit your job at the resort?” Cas looks confused, and Dean shakes his head.

“No. This is an extra job. I’m still paying Charlie off for helping me with Sam.”

“How much money did you borrow from her?” Cas asks, eyebrows pinching together.

“Too much,” Dean sighs. “But she’s good about it. Doesn’t stack any interest on.”

Cas nods, and silence falls between them. It isn’t the easy silence that Dean remembers, from when they had first been getting to know each other, but more a loaded, tense, angry one.

“Sorry for avoiding you,” Dean says eventually. “I was kind of… surprised to see you on my front lawn.”

“Yes, that may not have been the best course of action,” Cas admits.

“Did you really lose my number?”

“Yes.”

Dean searches his eyes. There isn’t any falsehood in them, and Cas isn’t guarding anything. Dean sighs heavily and rubs the back of his neck.

“Sorry for telling you off like that.”

“It’s fine,” Cas replies, shrugging with one shoulder. “As long as you don’t do it again.”

Dean nods slowly. “Okay.”

“I’m guessing that if you’re here on a Friday night, you don’t have much spare time,” Cas continues.

“Yeah,” Dean says. He’s tired, most of the time. “None. Sam’s at home, refuses to do anything that isn’t working and scowling at me.”

Cas frowns slightly. “After everything that you did for him?”

“He doesn’t see it that way,” Dean says. Sam blames him for taking him out of Stanford, for not completing his degree in the US. He doesn’t blame Dean for Ruby, though. Takes all of that onto himself.

“You should find someone for him to talk to,” Cas advises.

“I know,” Dean replies. “But I’ve got no money to send him to rehab, which is what I’d like to do. It isn’t like there’s a raging drug culture on the island, but since he’s working in the city, I can’t control what he does when he’s not with me. I’m fairly certain that he wouldn’t go out seeking a dealer. He has that much self-control. He doesn’t want to relapse, but…”

“But what addict wants to relapse?”

Dean nods. “Exactly.”

The next silence is warmer.

“Jo told me that you have been avoiding coming to the Clinic.”

Dean ducks his head. “I haven’t.”

He looks up for a second to see Cas looking vaguely amused. “Of course.”

“I just didn’t want to see you and for things to get even weirder between us,” Dean mutters.

“You didn’t want me to think you didn’t want to talk.”

“I just wouldn’t have had the time, Cas,” Dean tells him. “I should be working right now.” He looks over to the bar, and is surprised to see Jo working beside Ellen. “I should get back to it,” he says, and stands up. Cas watches him from his seat as Dean retreats. He can feel his eyes on the back of his neck.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asks Jo.

“Well you were talking with Cas, and I didn’t want to disturb you,” Jo says. Ellen rolls her eyes at them both.

He works the bar for the rest of the night, and watches as the patrons eventually disappear. Most leave as soon as one o’clock comes around, and Dean starts packing up the bar. The new laws that had just been implemented are a drain on business, but Dean personally thinks they’re sensible. No one needs to be drinking after one in the morning.

By three o’clock, he only has to usher a few people out. Then it’s just Ellen, Jo, Cas and Dean that are in the Roadhouse. Dean cleans up everything quickly, glad that for once no one threw up while he was on shift. He tries not to be too aware of how Cas and Jo quietly bid Ellen good night and go upstairs to the bedrooms on the third floor.

“I’m glad you talked to him, Dean,” Ellen says quietly as she passes him, and Dean feels a little better. His family approves of Cas, even if he doesn’t decide to go after him again.

Dean sighs quietly to himself. Who is he kidding? He’s already thinking of ways that he can squash some time into his week to accommodate Cas.

He is so screwed.

~*~*~*~

_October_

Dean starts seeing Cas around. They exchange smiles at the Clinic and talk for a few seconds when Cas comes to the resort. One time they happen to both be shopping at the same time, and Dean had spent an hour in his company, drinking in his eyes and smile and the one quiet laugh he had managed to get out of him.

He still doesn’t have any extra time. The majority of his contact with Cas is through texts. He had given Cas his number again, and Cas had immediately put it into his phone. That very day they had started texting each other, and it’s rare that a day goes by without several texts sent back and forth between them. Dean is learning Cas’s dry sense of humour and the things that interest him slowly. The words on his phone aren’t as good as having the real thing, but Dean will take anything he can get. A particular favourite exchange had Cas puzzling over why people would watch the entirety of the _Bathurst 1000_ when the cars just raced around the same track a thousand times. Dean had told him that it’s just something that Australians do, while trying to smile. John had watched the race religiously every year, and it can’t come up in conversation without Dean thinking about his father.

The holidays come and Dean spends two weeks franticly running around the Roadhouse every opportunity he can. He gets a good amount of tips and hours, and finally decides that he can let up some hours without feeling guilty about it. He decides to let Sam work, and pay off his own debt.

Dean stops taking every shift he can at the Roadhouse and spends more time sleeping. He even gets to go surfing for the first time in four months, and that does more for his temperament than anything else could have.

Three weeks after he had spoken to Cas, he finds himself with a day off. Ellen had cancelled his shift today only last night, and he had texted Cas right away, wanting to know if he’s free today.

Dean checks his messages to finds one from Cas.

**> > I’m not working today. Why? (7:59am)**

It had been sent a few minutes ago, and Dean doesn’t do anything besides yanking some clothes on before he runs down the street, covering the five hundred metres between their houses quickly. He knocks on the door and waits for a minute, shifting his weight between his feet. He huffs when he hears movement, and then Cas opens the door. He’s dressed in nothing but boxers and a dressing gown, and his hair is stuck up everywhere. There’s a slight scowl on his face that disappears as soon as he sees Dean.

“Dean?” Cas asks him.

“I’m free today, if you want to do something,” Dean tells him. Suddenly feeling a bit vulnerable, standing on his front porch, Dean shuffles his feet.

Cas’s eyes light up, and he smiles, opening the door wider. “That would be nice,” he says. Dean walks in, and he looks around. He’d never been in this house before, not even for the open day. He hadn’t thought that it’d be good to show himself what he’d never have.

The entry way is open. There are steps leading to upstairs in the entrance and Dean can see that there’s an open space at the top that leads to more rooms. On the ground floor the entrance goes two different ways. One heads into a hall with rooms branching off, and the other to an open space that Dean supposes is the kitchen. It’s a large house, larger than the one that Dean and Sam are living in, and only Cas is here. 

Cas walks into the kitchen, and Dean sees the coffee mug on the table. There’s a half-eaten piece of toast on a plate next to it, and Cas sits down behind them, obviously in the middle of eating his breakfast.

“Ah, sorry for interrupting you,” Dean says, smiling to hide his embarrassment. Cas must see it though, because he does that thing where he doesn’t smile with his mouth, but smiles with his eyes instead. Dean finds that he had missed it.

“It is fine, Dean. If you want any breakfast, you can help yourself.”

“I ate at home,” Dean replies, and Cas nods.

“Tell me about what happened when you went to pick up Sam, then,” Cas asks.

Dean nods slightly. “Sure. After I left you, Brady picked me up and took me to Sam. Then I confronted him about everything – Ruby, the drugs, the money. I had all the cash he said he needed, and Brady took it. Turns out he’d just been waiting around to make sure that Sam didn’t make a run for it.” Dean shakes his head. “Thank you, again, for the tickets.”

“It was nothing,” Cas murmurs.

“Then we went and packed up Sam’s stuff and left. Sam still isn’t over it. I want to get him into a rehab program or something – maybe that’ll help. He won’t talk to me about what happened, so maybe he’ll talk to someone else about what happened.” Dean sighs to himself, and jumps slightly when Cas’s hand touches his. Cas looks at him silently for a few seconds before taking his hand away to keep eating his breakfast. Dean remembers to breathe.

“That seems like a good idea,” Cas replies. Dean nods.

“Yeah, but I have less than no money right now. I pulled all of the money I had stored up in my offset account for my house, as well as all my savings, and I still had to borrow off Charlie.”

Cas’s forehead is pinched in that way of his that shows he’s worried. “I could always –”

“No, Cas,” Dean tells him flatly. He’s already in enough debt, and if he and Cas are going to be something, then he doesn’t want that hanging over their heads.

Cas looks at him for a long second. “Very well.”

Dean nods sharply. “Not much has changed since then. I’m taking the shifts that I can at the Roadhouse, and Sam works as well, which is good. It gives him something to do.” Dean runs a hand through his hair. He really isn’t qualified to help Sam, and he knows that. Knows it, and fuck does it hurt, the fact that he can’t help his little brother, like he’s supposed to. The fact that he let him get into this situation in the first place hurts enough.

“Dean?”

Cas voice makes him shake his head. “Yeah?”

“You were staring at nothing.” Cas’s pinched look is directed at him now, and Dean shrugs slightly.

“It’s just been exhausting, these last few months.”

“Then we should do something that is the opposite of exhausting. Something pointless,” Cas declares. “Something fun.”

Dean raises an eyebrow. “Okay. You have anything in mind?”

Cas’s eyes glint, and Dean knows that for today, a least, he can drop the worries that weigh so heavy on his conscience.

~*~*~*~

“Where were you today?”

Dean doesn’t slow in taking his boots and jacket off, but he does sigh slightly. “I was out, Sam. People do that.”

“Out where? I wake up, you’re gone. I come back from work, you’re still gone. Dean, it’s nearly ten o’clock.”

“Just out, Sam.” Dean walks over to stand in front of his brother. Sam is frowning at him.

“What, like on a date?”

Dean doesn’t say anything, and Sam seems to pick his answer from that. “Seriously? That’s what you’re wasting time on? Spending time with this Cas guy?”

Dean swallows down his reflexive defence of Cas. Sam hasn’t met him, he reminds himself.

“I need some time for me sometimes, Sam. I can’t be here all the time.”

“Still,” Sam mutters.

Dean shakes his head, suddenly feeling tired. He’d had an awesome day with Cas, going down to the beach and screwing around in the waves and the sand, eating ice-cream for lunch and telling Cas off for unobtrusively feeding the sea gulls chips. They hadn’t kissed, hadn’t touched beyond what was normal, but Dean had felt it closing the rift between them with every minute that passed. He doesn’t want his good mood ruined by Sam questioning it.

“So what, you want to leave?” Dean asks him.

Sam shakes his head after a second. “No, Dean. I’m grateful for you letting me stay here, and I appreciate it. I just want to spend some more time with you. You’re always out, and the times that you’re not, I am. I don’t like it.”

Dean feels himself thawing slightly. “Okay. We can make time for us, Sam.”

Sam nods. “Good.”

With a few goodnights, Dean heads into his room. His younger self stares at him from his wall, and Dean wonders why he doesn’t just tear the poster down. All it does is remind him of a better time.

Dean settles into bed and lets thoughts of Cas swirl in his mind until he falls asleep.

~*~*~*~

_November_

“So, yeah, it went well. I think I want to do something like it again,” Charlie confides. Dean’s been treated to her retelling of her and Jess’s dates, and this latest one sounds pretty good to Dean. Charlie had taken Jess to the actual course way for the Melbourne Cup. Dean is looking at some of the photos that Charlie had taken on her phone on the day. Charlie and Jess are completely dressed up, fascinators in place to go with their stunning dresses.

“Everything was going really well, but then we went, well, a little too close to the racetrack…” Charlie giggles as she shows Dean the next photo. It’s a full body shot, so someone else must have been taking the photo. The first one is a lovely pose of Charlie and Jess, but the second one that Charlie shows him has both of the women in disarray, laughing while clinging to one another.

“That’s one for the photo album,” Dean laughs, looking at the picture. Charlie grins at him.

“I know! It was so fun. I’ve never actually been to the actual race track on Race Day, only watched it on the TV. So it was pretty awesome actually being there. Let me tell you, there are heaps more people there than it looks,” she confides.

Dean smiles at her. “I’m sure you and Jess handled it.”

Charlie nods. “Yeah. It just meant that we had to walk everywhere with our arms linked. You know, so that we wouldn’t get separated.”

“Of course,” Dean replies, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. Jess and Charlie are a cute couple. “It sounds interesting, in any case.”

“Yeah, I really liked it.”

Dean is glad that they’re still together. It provides some sort of stability to his life, so he knows that he can always count on Charlie and Jess’s misadventures to distract him for a while. He had been slightly worried that when Jess heard that Sam was back, she’d go back to him, and obviously Charlie had been worried about that as well, because she had talked her head off for an hour about the date Jess had taken her on the weekend after Dean and Sam had flown back in. Dean’s glad that Jess had moved on, really. Charlie is one of the best people that Dean knows.

Dean checks his watch. “I really should be going out,” he says, and Charlie nods.

“Yeah, probably. I’ll see you later, then.”

Dean hugs her goodbye and grabs the key to his buggy. As soon as he walks outside, he grimaces. It’s early November, and the heat is beginning to pick up again. He thinks that it’s going to be one of the first few days of the real, scorching heat, today. He’s not looking forward to it.

There’s a caw from above in one of the blooming Jacaranda tree. Dean looks upwards, and sees a magpie almost hidden amongst the vividly coloured purple blooms.

“Don’t you do what I think you’re about to do,” Dean warns. The magpie tilts its head at him and caws again. Dean takes a detour around the tree. He doesn’t need to get swooped today.

Someone is leaning up against his buggy. Dean narrows his eyes and startles slightly when he realises that it’s Cas. He’d seen the other man a few days ago, when they went to the beach. Cas must have Tuesday’s and Friday’s off.

Dean can’t stop a smile coming over his face as he approaches. Cas must only just have gotten here, because he’s still putting sunscreen on. Dean can see the tips of feathers poking out from the sleeves of his shirt, but it has a collar, so he can’t see any of his back. Dean comes up behind him and helps him rub some into his neck. Cas jumps a little but his hand falls away and Dean finishes rubbing it in. He leans into Cas, making him take a step forward, and frames him between his arms as he pumps more sunscreen to put on Cas. He smooths it down his arms and then starts putting some on himself, keeping Cas pinned.

“Hello Dean,” Cas says. There’s a hint of amusement in his voice and Dean grins.

“Hey Cas. What cha doing here?”

“I was hoping to spend some time with you,” Cas says.

“Well, I’m about to go around the island, check up on everything.”

“Can I come?”

“Sure,” Dean says. He grabs one of his extra hats and puts it on Cas, and grabs his sunglasses, which are next to them. “Ready to go?”

Cas wriggles around in his grasp and Dean can’t stop a smile when he sees him. Not only is Cas here, willing to spend time with him, but he has a large white streak of sunscreen running down his cheek.

“Whenever you are willing to let me go,” Cas says cheekily, and Dean takes a step backwards.

“I don’t think I’ll be letting you go anytime soon,” Dean replies, and then turns to get in the buggy so Cas won’t see his cheeks flush.

When Cas gets into the buggy, he’s smiling shyly at Dean. Dean starts up the buggy and reverses out of the parking spot. The radio turns on of its own accord, and the soft strains of _Waltzing Matilda_ come out of it. Dean keeps the buggy radio on instrumental frequencies so they don’t distract from his search of the trail, but it’s mainly to give him something to listen to. With Cas here, he doesn’t need it as much, so he turns the volume down.

The road he follows turns into a track, and then gets even bumpier as they start following the trail that only Dean traverses every few days. He keeps his eyes open for any penguins, and he knows that Cas is doing the same.

“So how are things?” Dean asks him. It’s probably not the most interesting conversation starter, but he needs to start somewhere. He has no idea what’s happening in Cas’s life, why he wanted to move somewhere to get away from his family, what exactly he got his degree in, or even how old he is. He wants to get to know him better, wants to know this man who cares about Dean, for some reason.

“Things…” Cas replies, seemingly not knowing what to say. “Things are good. I like working at the Clinic, and I’m getting to know the people there, both those who deal with the veterinary side of things and those who deal with research. Things have been slightly dramatic lately because of Kevin and Channing breaking up, though. I’m led to believe that it makes things awkward around the workplace, although I don’t feel like anything’s different.”

Dean huffs out a laugh and Cas looks at him and tilts his head slightly. “What?”

“It’s just kinda funny,” Dean replies. He can imagine Cas being completely oblivious to the awkward tension between people.

“That’s what Jo said as well,” Cas says, frowning slightly. He shakes his head slightly and continues. “I like this island. It is calm, peaceful. I can go to numerous beaches and every one has its own personality.”

Dean feels something inside him warm. “Yeah, I know that. When I surf all the beaches around here, you have to know each one, personally, to get the best waves. That’s why I change things up each time I surf, don’t go to the same beach twice in a row. Haven’t had much time lately, though.” He frowns, and it deepens when he sees a few pieces of rubbish on the side of the trail. With a muttered curse he slows the buggy and gets the big plastic bag for trash out of the back. Cas helps pick them up, and soon enough they’re back on the trail again.

“Why haven’t you had much time to surf?” Cas asks, and then the confusion on his face clears. “Ah. Sam.”

Dean nods sharply. “Yeah,” he says shortly.

“I’m sure you miss it,” Cas says softly. Dean shrugs.

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t do it as much as I used to.”

“When you were champion of the competition around here, correct?”

Dean flinches and looks at Cas. “How do you know that?”

“I saw the poster on your bedroom wall.”

Dean is silent for a minute. The last time Cas had been in his house was over six months ago, when he was here in March. That means that, not only had he looked around Dean’s room, he had remembered enough of what was on his walls to talk about it, over half a year later.

“I saw it when you were passed out,” Cas tells him.

“When you carried me to my room,” Dean says, blushing slightly.

“Yes,” Cas says. “I was curious. I apologise if I should not have been looking…”

Dean shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.” After all, he had then slept next to Cas for the rest of the night. It was okay if the guy had looked at the posters on the walls. It’s Dean’s fault for keeping something like them that shows his past so clearly.

Cas nods. “Very well.”

They ride in silence for a few more minutes before Dean speaks again. “Why become a vet? Why penguins?”

Cas blinks at him. “I always wanted to become a vet,” he says. “My family had different plans, but…” He shakes his head. “I just want to help. Humans were always too complicated, though. Animals are always easier. They do not try to deceive you. They’re honest.”

Dean bites his lip. He doesn’t want to ask why Cas has such obvious trust issues. After all, who is he to talk?

“I like birds, in particular. Penguins just happen to fall under that category. This island is good for that. I don’t have to leave, there are lots of animals that need help, and I can help them.”

Dean blinks and he feels his forehead furrow as he realises something. Cas is hiding. He isn’t sure what or who from, but he’s using the island as a refuge. He doesn’t have to leave for his job or for any of his needs, and so he’s hoping that here he won’t be discovered.

Dean has the feeling that whatever Cas is hiding from, it won’t stay gone forever.

“And you? Why did you want to become a ranger?”

Dean brushes thoughts of Cas lying aside to look at later. “I grew up here,” he tells him. “My Dad was a ranger before me. When I was younger, before he died, I thought about going professional with my surfing. Win international comps, go around the world to do what I loved. But after Dad died…” Dean trails off and shakes his head. “After he died, things got hard. Ellen had to fight for custody over us, and she only won because Bobby was supporting her as a second custodian, even though he lives in Perth. If it hadn’t been for him, I’m sure that Sam and I would have been put into the system. We went and lived with Ellen and Jo for a few years until I turned eighteen and could take up guardianship of Sam, and we moved back here. We both like it better than the city.”

When he doesn’t continue, Cas prompts him. “What happened next?”

Dean shrugs. “Life happened. I finished school and completed my degree – Bachelor of Conservation Biology and Ecology. Sam finished high school, and started his law degree. I got a job here, and everything was going fine until…”

“Until what?”

Dean shakes his head and doesn’t say anything. Cas doesn’t push, which Dean is grateful for. He rolls Cas’s question around in his head for a few minutes before answering. Some of this story isn’t his to tell, but it wasn’t like Sam could protest at that moment. Dean doesn’t think that Cas is the type of person to go around flaunting information, so he decides that he can tell him about what happened.

“Sam was dating Jess. You know Jess, she’s a vet as well.”

Cas nods. “I like her. She’s very nice.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, she’s good. Well, they were dating, and Jess was gone on Sam, and I thought that Sam loved her back. Until I come home one day to find Sam making out with this other girl on the couch. Her name’s Ruby, and of course I kick her out, talk to Sam about it. Except he won’t talk to me. I ask him, ‘What happened with Jess?’ Do you know what he says back?” Dean huffs scathingly to himself. “‘Nothing.’ Like he can just cheat on his girlfriend and not have any consequences. I told him that he can tell Jess or I would tell Jess, and he tried to persuade me not to, like there was nothing wrong with it. I refused to be quiet, and told Jess the next day. She was heartbroken, and they broke up. I don’t see Sam for a week, and I can only assume that he’s staying wherever Ruby is. Then he turns up to tell me that he applied to finish his degree at Stanford. In America.” Dean sighs. “Ruby lives in America, and I can only assume that that was the main reason why he wanted to move, which meant he had to have been cheating on Jess for some time. Jess finished her degree and got a job, only to have Sam move back here, except now she’s dating Charlie and he’s stopped going to uni, has been using and selling drugs, and only just managed to pay off his debts with my money. He’s not looking all that good anymore, and to my knowledge, they haven’t spoken since he got back.”

Dean’s left feeling too open, and he closes his mouth with a snap. He hasn’t spoken about his past in so long, and the lingering feelings of rejection and desperation are surfacing in the back of his throat. He keeps his eyes fixed on the track in front of them intently so he won’t have to look at Cas. He can feel Cas’s eyes on him, assessing, sifting through what Dean had said and what Dean hadn’t.

“Well, I don’t think that my own story is as interesting as that,” Cas tells him. “I’m the youngest of all my siblings, although Anna is only five minutes older than me.”

Dean looks at Cas in surprise. “You have a twin?” He doesn’t know why that seems like such a strange idea; after all, he hardly knows anything about Cas’s family. It’s entirely possible that he’s got a hundred siblings that are all twins. Okay, maybe not a hundred. But if Cas is in a sharing mood, then this is a good opportunity to try and pry some more information out of him regarding his family.

“Yes. Fraternal, not identical. She always thought that it was her job to look after me, just because I’m younger than her.”

“Tell me about your other brother and sisters,” Dean asks.

“There is not much to tell,” Cas says. “Michael and Lucifer are the oldest. They are twins as well, and in business together, and are a powerful influence in their community. Gabriel is a therapist who has a sense of humour. I’ve been told that it’s strange. Samandriel’s strengths lie in his skills with people, and he’s highly sought after wherever he goes. Anna is a highly skilled masseuse, and she’s looking to start her own business soon. And I am just a vet.”

“Just a vet? Cas, a degree in vet science takes four years to complete. It’s a hard degree, and those who get it are devoted people. You love the animals, I can tell.”

Cas smiles shyly. “Like I said. I think they are easier to deal with than people.”

By the time Dean’s coming back into the car park at the resort, it’s just after midday. He had started that morning at five o’clock, and his shift ends at one. A solid eight hours.

“If you stay around for a bit, I get off at one,” Dean offers.

“That sounds good,” Cas says, eyes crinkling.

~*~*~*~

The next Tuesday, Dean pulls into Cas’s driveway. They’ve organised to go out for lunch, and Dean has everything they’ll need in the boot. He knocks on the door and waits nervously. He’s dressed in jeans and flannel, nothing fancy, and he hopes Cas doesn’t mind.

When the door opens, Cas is standing behind it, already smiling.

“Hello, Dean.”

Dean opens his mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. He’s too busy staring at Cas.

The other man is wearing a blue shirt that brings out the colour in his eyes, and dark, tight jeans that makes Dean glad that he’s facing him, because if he wasn’t, then Dean is sure that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from staring at his ass.

“…Hey,” Dean finally manages.

One side of Cas’s mouth curls upwards slowly. Dean stubbornly keeps his eyes on Cas’s face, which means that he has to watch him smirk.

“Come in,” Cas invites. He turns, and sure enough, Dean’s eyes fall against his will to stare at his ass. Cas flashes a look over his shoulder and his eyebrow lifts when he catches Dean at it. Dean feels himself blush slightly as he follows Cas inside. Dean can see more of his wings than he had ever before, and he takes the few seconds that he has to appreciate the artistry in the details of them.

“You ready to go?” Dean asks him. Cas nods.

“Yes.” He picks up his wallet and opens it, checking something inside it and then putting it in his pocket. “I’m ready.”

“Good,” Dean says, and he doesn’t mean anything by letting Cas walk in front of him. Nothing at all.

Cas gets into the passenger side and Dean makes sure he’s belted in before turning over the engine. Cas had tasked him with coming up with somewhere to eat, and Dean is nervous about his choice. Cas is probably expecting some sort of restaurant, but that isn’t what Dean is comfortable with.

Cas doesn’t ask where they’re going, but he does ask the small questions that make up conversations. He asks about work and Dean talks about what had happened in the few days that they hadn’t seen each other. It’s quiet, it’s nice, and Dean thinks that he could get used to just _talking_ with someone. Everyone around him seems to want something from him these days – Sam just wants him to fix his problems, Charlie wants to talk to him about Jess, Jo wants him to get with Cas, Ellen wants him to get back into surfing. Cas doesn’t seem to want anything besides his company, doesn’t seem to want anything besides having him next to him. It’s relaxing and freeing, and Dean is quickly becoming addicted to it.

When they turn off the road and onto a dirt one, Cas raises an eyebrow at him, but still doesn’t ask where they’re going.

Dean parks under a tree. He gets out and peers up at it, but it isn’t windy, and the gum shouldn’t drop any branches on the Jeep. He pops the boot and gets out a bag, and that’s when Cas understands.

“A picnic?” He asks, and Dean can see that he appreciates this. Appreciates the effort that he’s gone to, to think about this and where he’d take Cas.

“Yeah,” Dean replies. He rubs the back of his neck and offers a smile to Cas. “I hope it’s not too low scale for you.”

“It’s good,” Cas tells him. “I take that you’ve been here before?”

“Yeah. It’s a good spot.” Dean shoulders the back pack and walks up beside Cas. Cas takes his hand casually, like they do this all the time, and Dean wonders if that’s the secret to it. Just act like it’s normal until it becomes normal.

Dean leads him up to the picnic point. There’s a small trail going up the hill that’s far too narrow and steep for the Jeep, but it isn’t long and then they’re looking out over the island. Dean takes a second to drink the scenery in, the deep blue of the open ocean contrasting with the vibrant purple of the Jacaranda trees that are scattered among the land and the deep green of the bush. There are small spots of yellow where wattle trees are in bloom, and they complement the purple trees, which are much more visible.

“It’s beautiful,” Cas says simply, and Dean can only nod.

 “Yeah. It is. And it has the upside of being in the middle of nowhere. I found this place when I was first learning to drive; I chucked a U-e at the wrong place and ended up driving around here. I haven’t made the habit of bringing people here often.”

Cas nods, and Dean puts the backpack on the ground. He quickly pulls everything out and sets it all up. It’s not fancy – just some bread with a choice of a few dips, a small salad for Cas, and some bacon for him, since Cas is a vegetarian. He bites his lip nervously, but Cas looks happy, and that makes Dean relax slightly.

It’s a late lunch – Dean hadn’t wanted to catch the heat of the day. It’s mid-November, summer has already announced its presence, and soon Dean’s job is going to get hellish. The heat is intense, and he has to be out in it almost constantly. Cas looks happy, talking animatedly for him, eyes lighting up as he speaks about some of his travels. Dean thinks that he won’t stay here for long, even if he’s hiding from something – he loves to go places and visit undiscovered worlds (or at least, places he hasn’t been before) too much to just give it up.

“I just love seeing new things,” Cas says, eyes slightly unfocused, and Dean thinks that that sums it up nicely.

“Yeah,” Dean says softly. “I can tell.”

Cas’s eyes crinkle. Dean swallows. They’ve eaten and have just been talking, but now Dean is staring at Cas and Cas is staring at Dean and Dean can’t help himself anymore.

Cas’s eyes flutter shut as Dean ducks his head. The first brush of their lips is timid, barely there, like they’re both testing the waters between them. Cas’s lips are just as chapped as Dean remembers, and he’s hit with a heady vision of them wrapped around his dick. Cas sighs against his lips and Dean fastens his against Cas’s firmly.

Cas slides a hand up to the back of Dean’s neck. It makes Dean put a hand down to steady himself, which then lands on Cas’s thigh. Not really complaining, he tilts his head and feels his nose brush against Cas’s skin.

Their other kisses hadn’t lasted as long as this one is, and Dean is starting to notice that Cas is lacking in some of the finer points. He smooths a frown off his face before it even appears and brings the hand not on Cas’s thigh up to cup his face. Cas lets out a small, startled sound when Dean bites his lower lip. Dean savours it as he sucks it into his mouth, nibbling along it slightly.

When he pulls away, Cas is looking at him with wide eyes, and Dean can’t resist winking at him. Cas’s face transforms from the innocent wonder he had been displaying to an amused kind of annoyance that makes Dean happy.

Dean laughs, and it comes out as a deep chuckle. Cas smiles as well, an actual smile, and that quiets Dean as he stares in wonder at it. He can’t help but kiss it again, and Cas’s grin stretches wider as Dean presses their mouths together again.

Cas leans backwards and Dean resists the urge to follow him. Cas sighs, eyes flicking away from him, and Dean frowns.

“Is everything fine? Is this…” Dean waves a hand between them vaguely. “Okay?”

“Yes,” Cas says immediately. “But, um, there’s something I uh, need to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Dean asks, trying not to frown.  Cas didn’t usually stumble over his words like that. “What’s up?”

“I just want you to know that…” Cas takes a deep breath. “This is the first time that I’ve been involved with anyone.”

Dean leans back slightly, surprised. “Not even when you were a teen?”

Cas looks aside. “My brothers were very controlling. And I never found anyone I wanted to try this with, anyway. So…” Cas pauses for a second, flicking his shirt edge up and down nervously in his hand. “Can we just, take this slow? I don’t know…”

“Yeah, of course,” Dean says immediately. “That’s fine, Cas.” He smiles at him. “I’m glad you told me.”

Cas flashes a smile up at him.

Slow is good. Dean can do slow.

~*~*~*~

Dean looks out to sea, the waves lapping at the shore steadily. The growing chaos behind him is testament to the holiday season coming closer. It’s late November, and even the heat doesn’t dismay the people who are coming to see the fairy penguins.

Dean pulls his phone out of his pocket and calls Cas. The phone rings for a few seconds before he picks up, and Dean can’t help the smile that comes over his face as he hears his gravelly voice answering the phone.

“Hey, it’s Dean,” he greets.

“Hello,” Cas says, and Dean hears the note of light that only comes out for him enter his voice. “Aren’t you at work?”

“Yeah, just about to go down to the Plus tour tonight. Look, I know that you’re free tonight, and if you want to come down, I can make sure that you’re let in…” Dean trails off. He just wants to spend more time with Cas, and even though he’s quite sure that Benny wouldn’t really approve, Dean’s also sure that he won’t mind if it only happens once.

“Sure,” Cas says, sounding happy. “When are you getting off tonight?”

“Early,” Dean tells him, and that’s why he’s called, really. “Around seven.”

“Good,” Cas tells him. “I’ll be there soon.”

Cas hangs up and Dean pockets the phone. Caleb is checking people’s tickets as they head down to the Plus platform, and Dean hurries over to him.

“Caleb,” he starts, but before he could say anything else, Caleb is nodding.

“Charlie already told me.”

Dean pauses for a moment. “Told you… about what?”

“About your boy coming by. It’s fine, don’t worry, I’ll let him through.”

Dean blinks and Caleb ushers him through to then check the people behind him.

Dean follows the boardwalk down to the beach, looking through all of the foliage to see if he can spot any chicks yet. It’s a bit early, but Dean’s hopeful for a nice, healthy year this season. It was a cool summer last summer, with temperatures rarely reaching the normal averages for this part of the world. They’ve had more over forty degree days this November than they had the entirety of last summer, and Dean’s bracing himself already for a scorcher. This summer is going to be one on the records, he can already tell. He can only thank whoever was out there that he’s not living in one of the hotter states. Western Sydney is one of the most populated areas in all of Australia, and it’s also extremely prone to heat waves. Dean has the sea and living on the coast is usually enough to dilute the heat a small amount.

He makes it to the bottom of the boardwalk and goes over to Charlie. She’s going to be the one who’s leading the Tour tonight, and she’s already talking to several people. Dean waits, sure that she can see him, and answers the questions that a few kids come up to him to ask shyly.

When both of them are free, Dean approaches Charlie.

“Hey,” she says, smiling at him.

“Hey,” Dean answers. “How did you know I’d be calling Cas?”

Charlie smirks at him. “As if I can’t predict that,” Charlie says. “He had to be called in to work on Tuesday so you didn’t get to spend any time with him then, and you’ve been working late every day since, so you’ve had no time after work to go and meet up with him. I know he’s got Saturday’s off, and I know that you’re getting off early tonight, because I swapped shifts with you. So, yeah. When’s he coming by?”

“He’s probably coming now,” Dean mutters, sighing to himself and looking out to sea. He just really needs to relax, and being around Cas always helps with that.

“That’s good. You’ve been tense all week,” Charlie comments, before she starts talking to a woman who had come up to her. Dean talks with the customers, and just as Charlie has them all sit down and had just started talking to them, he sees Cas walking down towards them. He silently cuts past the seated tourists and comes to stand next to Dean. Dean doesn’t touch him, but he does inhale the scent that drifts past as Cas walks by. The soft lavender smell is overlaying the deeper scent that is Cas, and Dean thinks that he could recognise it anywhere.

“Hello Dean,” Cas greets him softly, just loud enough for Dean to hear. Dean’s lips twitch up into a smile for a second.

“Heya, Cas.”

They stand in silence until Charlie finishes her presentation. Dean can see the penguins coming in closer to shore, although the tourists, who had likely never seen penguins in the wild before, hadn’t picked them out yet.

Cas presses a little closer to him, and Dean smiles at him. Cas turns and looks up to sea when a man comes up to him and starts asking questions. Dean answers them and starts talking, using his years of knowledge about the land and the animals in the surrounding area. He soon has a few people in his audience, but what would normally seem to fly drags. Dean thinks it has something to do with Cas leaning up against the railing next to him and touching his hip slightly with his own. Dean just wants this to be over, so he can take Cas out and kiss him senseless, to wipe away the stress of the week. Somewhere along the way Cas had taken the place of his surfing, because he very rarely has the time for it anymore, and he still needs to relax somehow.

The penguins start coming in and Dean cedes his place at the barrier to the people who are gathering to watch the penguins come in. Cas comes back with him and sits down next to him.

“You do anything today?” Dean asks him.

“Nothing much,” Cas says. “Did some cleaning around the house. It’s amazing how dirty everything gets, even when there’s no one else in the house besides me.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, that happens.”

“What about you?” Cas asks, and he seems genuinely interested, even though Dean’s day had been completely ordinary.

“I did some stock counting. Krissy wasn’t in, so I called her. She said that she’s sick, so Benny’s going to have to find someone to take over her shift tomorrow, because she sounded like shit. Charlie swapped around my shift because she thinks it’s past time that we get together and she wants me to go and spend some time with you because apparently I’m easier to deal with after I’ve seen you in comparison to when I haven’t seen you –”

Cas laughs at that, and Dean raises his eyebrows at him.

“What?” He asks, slightly put out. It’s mellowed by the way Cas’ eyes are shining, and Dean can’t find it in himself to be even the slightest bit mad at Cas.

“I like Charlie,” Cas simply says, and Dean nods after a second has passed.

“Yeah, she’s a good person,” Dean replies.

The sun gradually sets as the penguins come in slowly. The people on the boardwalk gradually disappear, and it becomes closer and closer to seven. As soon as it clocks over, Charlie is ushering them up the boardwalk and shooing them away. Dean smiles at her and grabs Cas’s hand as they’re going up the path. Dean grabs his stuff and Cas follows him back to his place.

Dean pulls up in front of his house. He gets out as Cas parks his car. 

“We’ll take the Jeep, yeah? I’ll be out in a minute.”

Cas nods and Dean gets out of his Jeep, heading inside. Sam isn’t inside, and Dean quickly changes out of his uniform and into some plaid and a pair of jeans. He rakes a hand through his hair, trying to take away the wind tousled look. He’s got nothing on Cas, but he still wants to be presentable. He grabs his wallet and heads outside, pulling the door closed behind him.

He slides back into the driver’s seat, and starts the Jeep back up. The drive into Cowes doesn’t take that long, and Dean is soon trying to find a parking spot. He parks near the beach, and gets out of the Jeep. Cas walks over to him, and Dean smiles at him. They cross the road, Cas not knowing where they’re going, but trusting Dean to lead them. Dean walks into the café, and Cassie immediately comes over to him.

“Hey Dean,” she greets him.

“Hey Cassie. Can we grab a table and some dinner?”

“You know you’re always welcome,” Cassie says, and leads them towards an empty table. Dean sits down and Cassie is quick to grab them both menus before hurrying off to another table.

“Cassie owns this place, but she likes to keep an eye on things while waitressing,” Dean explains. “They make some of the best food in town here, and Cassie always gives Sam and I a discount.”

“How come?” Cas asks him.

“Dad pulled her dad out of the ocean when he fell off a cliff in a landslide years ago. She refuses to let us pay full price, so I always come here when I can, to pay what I can.”

Cas nods slightly and his eyes flick down to look at the menu. Dean doesn’t open his, already knowing what he’s going to get, but he lets Cas look over the entire thing. Cassie must have the same idea, because it’s another ten minutes before she comes back over to their table to get their orders.

“You just want the usual, Dean?” She asks him. He nods, and she scrawls something down onto her notepad. “And you?” She asks Cas politely.

“Ah, the Greek salad please,” Cas answers. Cassie nods and goes over to the kitchen to give the cook their orders.

“How’s Jo?” Dean asks, because he hasn’t seen the blonde girl for some time.

“She’s good. She went up into Melbourne a few days ago to spend the night and her day off with her family. She complains that you don’t text her enough. Maybe you should, just so I don’t have to listen to her grumble at work.”

Dean snorts. “Yeah, I’ll get around to it. And Jess? What’s she saying about her and Charlie? Anything about Sam?”

Cas takes a few seconds before he answers. It’s long enough for Cassie to come back with two glasses of water and put them on their table. Dean smiles at her in thanks.

“Jessica doesn’t often talk about Sam, and when she does, it’s like she’s talking about an old friend that she fell out of contact with. I think that she’d like to be on speaking terms with him again, but she doesn’t know if he’d be open to that. She speaks of Charlie often. I think they’re well suited for each other.”

Dean nods. “Yeah, I think so. Charlie’s crazy about her, I know that for sure. But Sam’s still a topic that both of them are touchy about, and Sam hasn’t helped with that. The months that he’s been here, he hasn’t made any efforts to connect with Jess, Charlie, Jo, Ellen, anyone. The only one he’s really been talking to is me. I’m worried about him,” Dean admits, looking down at his hands.

“Dean,” Cas says. Dean looks up, and Cas reaches across the table to touch his hands. “You can be there for Sam, but your brother has to make the decision to come back into his life. From what I’ve gathered, he still thinks that he’s in the right for leaving, and even for what happened in America. You need to sit down with him and talk about what happened, so that you can both move on.”

Dean sighs. He leans back in the chair and rubs the back of his neck with one hand, keeping the other in contact with Cas. “I’m not that great with talking,” he confesses.

Cas shrugs slightly. “You don’t have to be. Just let your brother know that you’re willing to talk, and I’m sure that Sam will come to you.”

“Yeah. Okay,” Dean says. “I will. Thanks, Cas.”

Cas’s eyes crinkle. “No problem,” he replies.

Their food comes shortly after that, and Dean digs in, hungry. He’d skipped lunch and he’d been doing things all day, so the burger that Cassie sets down on their table tastes even more delicious than it normally is. Cas eats his Greek salad, and he must find it good as well, because he complements it a few times. When Cassie is in earshot of the compliments, she beams happily.

Dean still tries to pay the full amount when they’re done eating, and Cassie still refuses.

“Let me at least tip the waitress,” Dean argues. “She was awesome.”

Cassie rolls her eyes. “No. Get out of here, Dean. Take your date somewhere cute to finish off the night.”

Dean blushes slightly but nods. “Okay. I’ll see you around, then?”

“Course,” Cassie replies.

Cas is waiting by the door, and Dean grabs his hand on the way out. He walks past the Jeep, down further to street just before the beach. The sun is getting lower in the sky as Dean pushes open the door to one of the other restaurants on the street.

Cas grins when he sees what’s inside. “Ice cream?” He asks, amused.

“Of course,” Dean says, acting like there was no other option. “What else?”

“Nothing else,” Cas says softly.

Dean gets mint choc chip, which he swears is the best flavour in the entire shop. Cas goes for a caramel flavour, which is nearly as good, Dean grudgingly admits. They eat them outside, on the tables that the small shop provides, watching as the sky turns gold as the sun slowly sets.

When Dean pulls into his driveway, there are lights on inside, and Dean can see movement behind the curtains. Sam must be home.

Cas gets out and Dean goes around to the back of the Jeep where he’s waiting.

“Thanks for coming round,” Dean says, quirking a smile at him.

“Anytime,” Cas says.

Dean slides his hand to the back of Cas’s neck, and brings him in so that Dean can kiss him. Cas hums into his mouth happily as Dean presses Cas’s lips apart with his tongue. He tastes like caramel, and Dean chases the flavour, licking out as much of it as he can until there’s only the taste of Cas. Cas sucks on his tongue, which makes Dean groan and step up against him, pushing Cas back against the Jeep. Cas twists his fingers into Dean’s hair, trying to find some purchase in the short strands. Dean’s hands settle on his hips for a few seconds, as he kisses him. They still haven’t gone any further than this, even though Dean wants to. He can tell that Cas is nervous about it, even if they haven’t exactly discussed it.

When they break apart, Dean can take in Cas’s appearance happily, lips rouged red and hair messier than normal. Cas licks his lips and Dean follows the motion before dragging his eyes back up to Cas’s.

“Talk to Sam,” Cas says. “It’ll make things better.”

Dean lets out a breath and leans against Cas for a few seconds before stepping back and letting him go. “Yeah, I will.”

Cas nods and reluctantly walks back to his car. Dean watches him drive down the street before he turns back to his own house. As he walks towards the door, he steadies himself. He’s going to talk to Sam about everything. Cas is right – they need to have it out between them.

But when Dean puts his key into the lock of the door, he realises that voices are coming from inside. Sam isn’t alone. He can’t hear anything from outside, the heavy door muffling the sounds, but he thinks the other person sounds feminine.

He unlocks the door slowly and opens it to the lounge room, and a scene out of one of his nightmares.

“I love you, Sam,” Ruby says. “Please, come back to the States with me. We can start over there, and you can leave all of this behind you.”

Ruby slowly turns her eyes to him, and Dean sees the deep loathing in her eyes when she sees him. It’s mutual. Dean takes a few steps into the house before Sam can respond, rage blurring everything except the girl in front of him.

“What are you doing in my house?” Dean says, voice deceptively soft. Ruby swallows, and then tilts her chin up.

“I came to visit Sam. He lives here as well, you know.”

Dean looks over at Sam for a second. His brother’s face is pained, and Dean just aims the anger that that raises at Ruby as well.

He stalks over towards her, hands balled into fists at his sides. Fear comes into Ruby’s eyes, but just as Dean lifts a hand to drag her out of his house, Sam grabs his arm from behind. His brother is strong, and Dean had forgotten how much until he can’t take another step forward because Sam is holding him back.

“Ruby, you should go,” Sam says quietly. Ruby nods and darts around them, Dean attempting to glare a hole through her.

“If I see you again, I’m calling the police,” Dean warns.

The door clicks closed, and Dean rounds on Sam.

“What the fuck was that?” Dean growls at him. “Why did you let her in?”

“I wanted to hear her explain her side of the story, Dean,” Sam tells him.

“What was there to tell?” Dean says, trying not to yell. “She ran off with your drugs, leaving you with a heap of debt, and then you never heard from her again? She’s just trying to get more money off you!”

Sam looks down at the floor. “She explained her side of things Dean… Her dad needed the money for an operation, and she thought that I would stop her from taking the drugs, so she stole it and sold it all to help her dad. He’s better now, and she wants to start afresh.”

“Yeah, afresh so she doesn’t have to own up to the fact that she owes you thirty thousand dollars,” Dean tells his brother. “She’s playing you, Sam.”

Sam scratches his head, running his hand through his bangs, and Dean feels a spike of doubt in his stomach. “You’re not actually taking her seriously, are you?”

“No!” Sam exclaims. “I know that she owes us money, Dean. I’m not stupid. Look, I won’t get in contact with her again, alright? Don’t worry about it.”

Dean stares at Sam for a few seconds until his brother gets up and goes into his room. The door shuts behind him with a solemn thud, and Dean fights off a growing sense of despair.

He’s going to lose Sam again, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

~*~*~*~

_December_

“What is up with you lately?” Charlie asks him.

Dean puts the box he’s carrying down on its shelf with a thump. “Nothing’s up,” Dean says, keeping his voice level.

Charlie snorts. “Uh, like I’m going to believe that. You’ve been acting weird all week. Cas texted me, and he was worried about you as well. You haven’t called him, and when he’s gone over to your place, only Sam’s been home. He hasn’t come around here, just because he doesn’t want to intrude if you don’t want him around, but I think you should call him. And you should also tell me what’s gotten you into this funk.”

Dean sighs. Charlie’s ability to make him feel dumb for keeping his problems to himself is something that she’s always been able to do, even when they were both teenagers.

“Ruby showed up the other day,” Dean finally says.

Charlie sucks in a breath. “Shit,” she says lowly. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” Dean says, his frustration with the situation coming back to the forefront of his mind. Sam refused to talk about Ruby, no matter how Dean brought it up, and while he wants to believe that his brother has forgotten about her, there’s an uneasy part of him that’s getting ready for Sam to leave again. “I walked in on Sam and her talking – apparently she wants to make nice with him again.”

Charlie shakes her head. “That’s a terrible idea. Even for an ex, Ruby is bad news.”

“I _know_ that, but Sam refuses to talk about it.” Dean slams his hand down on the counter, relishing the sting of his palm. “He won’t talk to me about it,” Dean repeats, softer.

Charlie puts a hand on his shoulder. When he looks up, her eyes are soft. “Go talk about it with Cas. He might have some ideas about how to deal with him. He does have half a dozen siblings.”

Dean shrugs her hand off and continues stacking boxes. But he resolves to go and visit Cas after work.

~*~*~*~

When he rings Cas’ doorbell, the door opens within a few seconds. Cas stares at Dean for a few seconds before opening the door a bit wider.

“Hello Dean,” he greets quietly, and Dean is suddenly left feeling like shit. He hadn’t talked to Cas in almost a week and yet Cas hasn’t pushed, hasn’t pried into his life any more than he’d been invited.

“Sorry for not calling,” Dean mutters as he walks inside. It’s raining, the soft patter of the water making a soft background noise to their voices.

“Are you alright?” Cas asks him, looking concerned. Dean pauses before slowly shaking his head.

“Not really,” he says. Cas closes the door behind him and then wraps his arms around Dean’s waist. Dean sighs and relaxes, burying his face in Cas’s hair. Cas leans into him, and Dean is hit with a vision of pushing Cas back until he’s up against the wall, and of Dean fucking him senseless with his pants around his ankles. Dean bares his teeth at himself, irritated and angry. He’d always looked down at people who go to sex as their comfort when things are wrong, and he’s tried to stay away from that for the majority of his life. He’s not going to start now, with Cas, who is just trying to comfort him.

“Come sit down,” Cas murmurs, and Dean lets him go. He takes off his shoes and socks as well as his jacket, following Cas into his house.

“Thanks,” Dean says, curling up against Cas. Cas draws him in closer and Dean closes his eyes, sighing silently.

“What happened?” Cas asks.

Dean doesn’t say anything for a minute. “You remember Ruby?” He eventually asks.

“Yes,” Cas replies evenly. “She was the one who ran off with Sam’s drugs, and left him in debt. Why?”

Dean twists his head so he can look at Cas. “She showed up last week,” he says. “Tried to convince Sam to leave with her, to go back to America. Said that she wanted to start things over, fed him some story about her father needing the money for an operation or something. He ate it up and now…”

“You think that he may be considering leaving with her,” Cas finishes for him. His eyes are sympathetic and there’s a crease between his eyebrows that Dean only sees when Cas is worried. “Dean, from what I’ve seen of Sam, and from what you’ve told me, he seems like an intelligent young man. I’m sure he can see Ruby for who she is. He’s already been taken in by her once, and I’m sure he’ll think harder before committing to any action regarding her again.”

“He’s only like that around facts and things,” Dean mutters. “He gets lost when it comes to people and emotions, and I think he thinks that he was in love with Ruby. He might… I don’t know Cas. He might go with her, consequences be damned.” It’s the first time he’s admitted the possibility out loud, and having it out in the open doesn’t do anything to help with his gut feeling of apprehension.

“Well, I suppose you’re going to have to trust him,” Cas finally says. “He _is_ your brother, Dean. Do you think he’s worthy of that trust or not? Only you can decide. And if he is, then trust him to do the right thing. And if he isn’t…” Cas trails off, and Dean doesn’t want to hear the rest of what he’s going to say. So instead of letting Cas continue, he leans up and kisses him, not letting any other sounds escape his mouth as he tries to distract himself from Cas’s question.

Is Sam worthy of his trust?

Dean doesn’t want to think about the answer that he immediately gives.

~*~*~*~

The next week is tense. Dean doesn’t know what to say when he’s around Sam, and he spends a lot of his time texting Cas. Charlie doesn’t ask him about how things are going, even though she can see how tired and snappy he is at everyone. She must have said something to everyone else, because no one asks him about his shitty mood, and in return Dean tries to dampen down his feelings at work.

Cas must have told Jo, because she manages to corner him when he goes down to the Clinic to drop off some files.

“Sam is doing _what?_ ” She hisses as soon as they’re alone. Dean sighs silently to himself. He had wanted to talk with Cas for a few minutes, but with Jo seething in front of him, that plan’s gone out the window already.

“Cas told you?” Dean asks, just to get some breathing room for himself. There’s no one else that could have told Jo. She nods stiffly, and then turns around, threading a hand through her hair.

“Is he really that stupid?” She asks, shoulders coming up defensively, her voice on the verge of shaky. Dean sometimes forgets that she’s Sam’s sister as well. Jo cares for them both.

“Sam doesn’t get that Ruby’s a backstabbing bitch, that’s all,” Dean says quietly. “Look, he hasn’t even said anything about going, or even anything else about Ruby. Jo, there’s no reason to be worried. He isn’t leaving again.” Or at least that’s what Dean is trying to convince himself of.

Jo bites her lip. “If you say so,” she mutters, shifting her weight from leg to leg. “But if you think that anything’s going to change, you tell me, okay? If you leave me out of this again, I’ll punch you into next week.”

Dean smiles slightly. “Yeah, okay. I promise.”

Jo nods again and then hugs him. Dean buries his face in her hair, breathing in the familiar smell.

“I’ve got to get back to work,” Jo says. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

Dean nods, and watches as she disappears around the corner. Dean lets out a breath and goes to drop off the files. He wants to find Cas, but he has no idea where he is, and he’s wasted enough time talking to Jo. He reluctantly leaves the building, not wanting to go back to work, but not wanting to go home to Sam; just generally feeling off and being unhappy about it.

He heads back to work and spends the rest of the day doing his job. Even the wind and the penguins don’t cheer him up. He heads home later than he usually does, expecting the rest of the night to be normal.

His eyes narrow at the strange car parked in front of his house. It doesn’t belong to the neighbours, and he doesn’t recognise it from anywhere else. Nervousness kicks its way into his stomach, and he closes the door to the Jeep loudly. There’s movement behind his curtains, and Dean feels a wave of foreboding wash over him.

When he unlocks the door, the first thing he sees is a bag, looking so full he’s surprised that Sam got it closed. When he rounds the corner into the living room, Sam is standing there, looking extremely guilty but also remorseless at the same time.

“Sam,” Dean says lowly. “What are you doing?”

Sam sets his jaw, and then Ruby comes out of the back rooms. Just seeing her makes anger start to curl in him, and Dean doesn’t say anything, simply crossing his arms and staring at his brother.

“You think that you can just leave _again_?” He asks, trying not to spit the words out. Sam flinches slightly while Ruby looks unmoved.

“Sam’s in charge of his own life, Dean. He can do what he wants.” Dean watches Ruby’s red, red, mouth shape the words, and tries to fight down the urge to scream.

“Yeah, and he’s not dumb enough to do something that is obviously, colossally _stupid_ , because he’s a smart person. Smart enough to trust his brother, at least,” Dean says, not taking his eyes off Sam.

“Dean…” Sam says slowly. “Look, me living here isn’t working out for either of us. I need to be on my own for a while.”

“You see, I might’ve accepted that,” Dean says, trying to keep his rage under control. “But you’re not going alone, Sam. You’re going with her. And she’s bad news, just like Jody said, two years ago. She _stole_ from you, Sam! She can’t be trusted.”

“We’ve gone over this, Sam,” Ruby says softly. “I’ve explained everything to you.”

“Maybe you should explain to Dean as well,” Sam says, looking uncertain. “He paid off the debt, you know.”

“I’ll explain to him if he agrees to sit down and have a civil conversation,” Ruby replies, but she’s looking at Dean, and Dean can see nothing but deceit in her eyes, and he snaps.

“Get the fuck out of my house,” he growls. “Sam, don’t be an idiot. Stay here with me. You’re getting better, you just need a little more time. Ruby, if you ever come near Sam again, I’ll rip your throat out.”

“Dean, calm down. You need to give her a break, okay? Her dad –”

“I don’t give a fuck about whatever bullshit story she fed you, Sam,” Dean spits. “She needs to leave.”

Sam draws himself up to his full height, and takes a breath in. “Dean, I’ve already made up my mind. I’m going with her. Now, we can part happily, or you can try to stop me.”

Dean just starts to shake his head slowly. _No. This can’t be happening again._ “You can’t,” he says, voice breaking slightly. “You can’t leave me again, Sam.”

Sam looks away guiltily, but doesn’t say anything else. Dean watches, despair rising thick in his throat, as they pick up the bags in front of them. Ruby walks past him, but Dean grabs Sam’s forearm as he tries to follow her.

“Don’t leave,” Dean says, voice low and begging. “Please, don’t leave me.”

Sam looks at him levelly. “I have to, Dean. It’ll be better for both of us.”

_It’ll be worse for both of us!_ Dean wants to scream, but Sam pulls out of his grip and follows Ruby to her car.

There’s the sound of doors slamming, and then they drive off, leaving Dean to sink to his knees slowly and bury his head in his hands.

~*~*~*~

Castiel is just about to go to bed when someone knocks on his door. Frowning slightly, he gets up and puts his book down, heading towards the door to see who it is.

As soon as he opens it, he’s hit by the stench of alcohol, and it takes him another second to realise that it’s _Dean_ standing on his porch, leaning against his wall with his head hanging lowly and looking like he’s about to fall over. Castiel doesn’t know how he managed to walk the few streets between their houses, but he’s suddenly very glad that it isn’t more, because he’s afraid to think about Dean driving in this state.

“Dean?” Castiel asks slowly, not sure what’s going on. He knows that Dean isn’t averse to alcohol, but he’s only seen Dean smashed when he had learnt about Sam overdosing in America. Dean takes a step forward and staggers into Castiel, Castiel only just catching his weight.

“Cas,” Dean slurs, awkwardly wrapping his arms around Castiel and nearly punching him in the process. Castiel tightens his grip and pulls Dean inside. “Cas, he left me again. Left me for that _bitch_.” The last word is weighted with so much venom that Castiel flinches from it. As he shuts the door behind his partner, he uneasily realises what Dean’s words must have meant. Sam is gone, has left with Ruby once more. The reason for Dean’s drunkenness suddenly becomes very clear.

“Oh Dean,” Castiel says softly. “I’m sorry. You can sleep here, sleep with me. Everything will be clearer in the morning.”

Dean must accept that, because he leans heavily on Cas as they walk up his stairs. He’s grateful for the fact that he had already brushed his teeth and gotten ready for bed, as Castiel tugs off Dean’s shoes and socks. Dean collapses back against his bed, and Castiel awkwardly looks at his jeans. He knows that it isn’t comfortable sleeping in them, and that Dean’s probably going to have a bad enough day as it is tomorrow, so he reaches up and unbuttons them, pulling Dean out of them and folding the denim at the end of his bed.

Castiel pulls the covers down, and he encourages Dean to come up under them, as hot as the night is. Dean quickly buries his head under Castiel’s chin when he lays down next to him, and Dean wraps his arms around him quickly, obviously wanting as much contact as he could get.

“He’s _gone,_ ” Dean says, voice cracking on the words. To Castiel’s dismay, he feels tears start to wet his skin, so he brings a hand up to rub Dean’s head, and one to move in calming circles on his lower back. He starts murmuring to him, nonsense that eventually disintegrates into Castiel repeating ‘It’s okay, I’m here.’ Dean doesn’t stop crying for a long time, and when he finally falls asleep, Castiel stays awake, staring at the wall and holding Dean close to him, determined to provide whatever comfort he could through the night.

~*~*~*~

Dean wakes up with the familiar feel of a hangover clouding his temples and hammering at his brain. He doesn’t groan, knowing that it will only make it worse and increase his headache. He lies there for a few minutes until the urge to use the bathroom becomes too much, and he shifts and opens his eyes slightly.

There’s someone else next to him, and he’s curled up into their body heat. Dean tenses for a second and opens his eyes to find Cas lying beside him, arm slung over him casually.

  1. He didn’t sleep with Cas, did he? He remembers coming over, but everything after that is a bit blurry. He blinks again, but both of them are wearing clothes, and Dean lets out a breath of relief. He doesn’t want to have sex with Cas when he can’t remember it. That’d just be awkward.



The curtains are drawn in his room, and Dean spends the next few minutes trying to wriggle out of his grasp without waking him up. He eventually manages it, and goes through Cas’s upper floor until he finds what he’s looking for. He sheds his clothes and steps into the shower, washing off the smell of whiskey. He opens Cas’s cupboards when he’s done, trying to find some aspirin, but if Cas has any in the house, he doesn’t keep it above his sink.

Dean walks back to Cas’s bedroom with a towel wrapped around his hips, opening the door quietly so he doesn’t disturb Cas. The other man is still in bed, and Dean swears silently to himself as he tries to find something to wear in Cas’s wardrobe. He eventually ends up putting on his shorts and jeans from the day before and not bothering with a shirt.

Cas is still sleeping when Dean checks on him, so he goes down to his kitchen to see if there is anything that he can cook for him. There are a few eggs in the fridge, but no bacon, so Dean finds some bread and a pan and starts cooking the eggs, trying to distract himself from the pounding in his head. In his opinion eggs without bacon is sacrilege, and isn’t going to help with his queasy stomach and headache, but he can’t exactly expect Cas to have any meat in his house when he doesn’t eat any.

Just as he’s buttering the toast and getting ready to put the eggs on it, he hears footsteps coming down the stairs. When he looks over his shoulder, Cas is coming around the corner from the entrance, hair completely ruffled and seemingly surprised to see Dean in his kitchen.

“Hey Cas. I couldn’t find your coffee, so I didn’t start any yet. And you don’t have any Vegemite in your house. I can’t believe it.”

Cas grumbles something unintelligible and heads towards one of the cupboards. He makes quick work of putting it all together, and the smell of perforated coffee begins to seep through the room.

“How do you like your eggs?” Dean asks. Cas comes over slowly and narrows his eyes at the eggs before taking the spatula from Dean’s hand and flipping one of them over. Dean slips an arm around his waist and Cas rests his head on his shoulder and wraps his arms around him while Dean takes the cooking utensil back and keeps poking at the eggs. He smiles slightly as Cas keeps hanging onto him even when he moves over to start pouring a cup of coffee for him. There isn’t enough for him yet, but he makes one for Cas, who gratefully takes it from him and leans up against the counter so Dean can tidy everything up a bit and then give Cas his plate. There are seats at his kitchen counter, and Dean sits down in one of them and eats his eggs, watching Cas pick at his breakfast.

“Not a morning person?” Dean teases, keeping his voice soft. Cas shoots him a glare which only makes Dean smile. “I suppose not,” he continues. Cas still doesn’t say anything, but he starts eating.

The food doesn’t make him feel much better, and he’s avoiding thinking about what happened last night. Dean gets up and makes himself a cup of coffee and another one for Cas, who offers his empty cup up wordlessly. Cas has his black, but Dean likes some milk in his, so he raids the fridge and then sits down next to Cas again. He’s looking a bit more human already, and when Dean smiles at him slightly, he smiles back.

“Sorry for barging over here last night,” Dean says.

“It’s alright,” Cas replies. They sit in silence for a few more minutes while they finish their breakfast, and Dean lets himself relax slightly. It’s Tuesday, so neither of them have to go in to work, which means that they can relax here for as long as they need to.

“Is Sam…” Cas starts, but he doesn’t say anything else. Dean nods once, and keeps his eyes fixed on his empty plate. Cas’s hand comes up to rest on his shoulder and Dean welcomes the support from him.

“He left,” Dean says, and then lets out a shaky breath. Cas doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t have to. He squeezes Dean’s shoulder and takes a sip of his coffee.

Cas helps him put away the dishes and clean up the kitchen. He disappears upstairs to get changed into some clothes, and Dean uses the opportunity to check his phone. There aren’t any messages from Sam, no matter how hard Dean stares at it.

He’s startled out of it by Cas putting his hand on his arm and pushing it down to lie on the table.

“You shouldn’t keep thinking about him, Dean. He made his choice.”

When Dean looks at him there’s something in his eyes that makes him feel a bit better.

“He’ll call you, later,” Cas tells him softly.

Dean nods mutely, looking at his phone. When Cas takes it, he only resists for a moment, and then watches as Cas tucks it into his pocket.

“We should go out somewhere,” Cas tells him.

“Somewhere quiet,” Dean says. He doesn’t feel like dealing with heaps of people right now. Cas nods, and they end up on the lookout on the cliff near one of the many beaches on the island. There’s a single weathered bench on the top of the bluff, and Dean and Cas sit there silently, watching the waves and the people on the beach. It’s not too hot today, which is good, because otherwise they wouldn’t be able to be sitting here in the open. It is windy though, and that’s why Cas is pressed up against him with Dean’s arm wrapped around him. Yeah. Windy. As if Dean needs an excuse to touch Cas.

Dean leans his head back slightly. He doesn’t know how to think about Sam leaving him again. Again. He feels that the last addition to that sentence isn’t needed. He closes his eyes and tries to find comfort in the sea breeze and Cas’s warmth, but all he can think about is how Sam had looked when he had walked out the door.

_It’ll be better for both of us Dean._

His arm tightens around Cas and Cas shifts slightly.

He has no idea what Sam is planning on doing. Going back to America? Trying to get Stanford to accept him again? Get into drugs again?

He sighs quietly and Cas pushes his head under his chin, breathing against him slightly. Dean starts running his hand up and down his back, just to keep his himself occupied.

“What am I going to do with him, Cas?” Dean asks.

Cas doesn’t have to ask what he’s talking about. “Dean, he needs to make his own mistakes. You can’t always be there to pick up the pieces after him, or he won’t accept the consequences of his own actions. You can’t be there for him, forever, and he needs to learn that.”

Everything in Dean rebels against that notion, hearing his father’s words echoing in his head.

_Protect Sam._

_Don’t let anything happen to your brother, Dean._

_Sam comes first._

_You need to be there for Sam, Dean._

_You need to do better than that._

_Sam is counting on you._

“Dean,” Cas says, snapping him out of the past. He doesn’t say anything else, so Dean opens his eyes and looks down at him. Cas looks worried, and that’s enough to shake Dean out of it.

“Maybe you’re right,” he murmurs, looking out to sea. Maybe it is time to let Sam make his own mistakes. Live his own life, without Dean there to take care of him.

He grits his teeth. It’s not like Sam is giving him a choice, but it looks like he’s going to have to accept it. His brother is gone, and there’s nothing that Dean can do about it.

 


	3. Chapter 3

_December_

Dean spends Christmas day at Cas’ house.

Dean cooks and the TV is on in the background after Dean had convinced Cas to turn it on. Even though he owns it, Cas usually doesn’t watch anything, preferring to read. Some Christmas movie is on now, quietly playing in the background to make the large house seem fuller.

It’s been four weeks since Sam left, and Dean hasn’t heard anything from him.

It’s worse than a few years ago, when Sam at least told Dean where he had been going. When Dean had finally worked up the nerve to call Sam’s number, an electronic voice had told him that it had been disconnected. He had tried not to feel like he’d been punched in the gut.

Charlie had helped him distract himself, always being loud and talkative, making Dean smile slightly where a month ago he would have laughed. Jo is furious, at both Dean and Sam – at Sam for leaving, and at Dean for letting him leave. Dean had tried to explain to her what had happened, but she had just shaken her head and walked off.

Sometimes he forgets that she thinks of them as her brothers, just like Dean thinks of her as his little sister. It’s humbling, and it makes him think about people outside him, outside how he’s feeling.

It still hurts like a bitch, sure, but it’s a bit easier to put aside his wallowing when he sees what it’s doing to his other family. When Jess is looking sad, Dean can pull himself together to smile for her and try to make her feel better. When he sees Cas looking worried for him he can sling an arm around him and let his scent calm him down. He can help Krissy with her schoolwork and try to dodge Annie’s questions about his love life without feeling like shit.

Maybe in trying to be better for the people around him, he actually finds some sort of peace inside himself.

So that’s why he and Cas are just spending Christmas together. It’s nothing loud or tiring, just a peaceful quiet between them in which Dean can think about everything without any pressure from anyone else.

He puts together some lamingtons, resisting the urge to put a sponge among them. He doesn’t make a pavlova; there’s only two of them, and Dean doesn’t think that they should eat an entire pav between them. He does make hash browns from scratch and an enormous amount of pancakes, even though Cas raises his eyebrows at the stack every time he walks past it. Dean teases him for the face that he makes, and that just makes him frown even more, which Dean thinks is hilarious.

“Come on Cas, you can’t let these go to waste,” Dean cajoles, trying to convince him to eat some more.

“I think that if I eat another pancake, my stomach will burst open,” Cas mumbles.

Dean groans and flutters his eyelashes at him. When Cas keeps staring at him, Dean sighs dramatically and goes around to his side of the bench to lay a kiss on his cheek.

“If you say so, angel,” Dean says. “Come on, we have to go and watch Christmas movies.”

Cas has a bemused look on his face as Dean drags him over to the couch. Cas has a ridiculously large couch, but Dean isn’t complaining, since both he and Cas can curl up together easily on it.

Dean grabs one of the convenient cushions and Cas happily lays down next to him. He flicks through a few channels before he grins when he recognises the opening scenes to one of the movies.

“What is this?” Cas asks. Dean dodges the question by tackling him so they’re both lying down on the couch with Cas in front of him so they can both see the TV.

“Dad used to watch this all the time,” Dean says, putting an arm around Cas’ waist.

“Really?” Cas asks cautiously. Dean doesn’t blame him. It’s not like he talks about his dad all the time.

“Yeah. I think it reminded him of Mum. He used to watch it every Christmas.” Dean feels a soft smile start to grow on his face. He likes to remember John when he was being a father, instead of when he wasn’t. He kisses the top of Cas’ head softly and Cas wriggles back so they’re pressed together. Dean sends thanks to Cas’ air con, because it’s sweltering outside, and he wants to be curled up with Cas in front of the TV and he’s pretty sure they wouldn’t be if the heat outside was inside. The ducted air conditioning made everything alright; the heat wouldn’t be able to get in.

Dean shudders slightly at the thought.

“I always laugh when these movies have snow in them,” Dean mutters.

“Well, it was made in America,” Cas reasons.

“If they lived through one Christmas here they would understand,” Dean mumbles.

The movie is bittersweet like always, and Dean finds himself drifting off as the familiarity of it and Cas lull him to sleep.

~*~*~*~

Castiel is fairly sure that Dean is asleep, but his arm is still around him, so he can’t move. While he’d been watching _It’s A Wonderful Life_ , he’d been thinking about Dean and his family and the parallels he can see in the movie. He understands why John Winchester would associate this with his wife, and why it would echo with Dean years later.

He’s fairly sure that Dean hadn’t had a full night’s sleep last night, since he had come over early and had been looking tired. As well as the fact that he had fallen asleep while watching the movie.

Castiel lets out a soft breath and moves back further into Dean’s warmth.

It’s a good day.

~*~*~*~

_January_

New Year’s comes and goes, Dean kissing Cas as the ball drops at Charlie’s New Year’s party. He spends his week of holidays either with Cas or surfing, sometimes at the same time when Cas comes down to the beach with him. They spend a few days in Melbourne, Dean showing Cas the sights and going around the city with him. They usually end up at the Roadhouse, where Ellen rolls her eyes at them, and Jo claims they’re ‘too cute.’

It’s nice.

Dean heads back to work, and Cas starts again at the clinic. They find time for one another where they can, and Dean tries not to worry about Sam. His brother knows that he can call anytime, email or even send a letter. It doesn’t matter how he contacts Dean, Dean just wants it to happen.

Cas tries to keep things positive whenever Dean brings up the topic, which is good because it calms him down.

“Dean, things will be fine,” he says over the phone.

Dean sighs. He’s heading home for the night, since Cas is on the late shift. He’ll probably see him later in the week, but until then they’re restricted to phone calls.

“That’s what you keep saying.”

“Sam can take care of himself. If he’s anything like you, then he’s fine.”

Dean doesn’t say anything. Is Sam anything like him?

“There’s a patient that’s just come in,” Cas says apologetically. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Dean says. “Bye.”

“Goodbye.”

He’s left feeling off, and as he pulls up to his place, the feeling doesn’t dissipate. He grabs his keys, but when he reaches his front door, it’s already open.

He narrows his eyes. He’s sure that he’d locked it this morning.

He pushes his door open and walks in, alert.

That doesn’t save him from the heavy weight connecting to the back of his head.

~*~*~*~

Castiel frowns at his phone. A number that isn’t in his contacts is calling him, but he isn’t dealing with any patient, so he picks it up.

“Castiel Novak?” A clipped voice asks him.

“Yes?” He answers cautiously.

“You are the emergency contact for Dean Winchester, correct?”

Dean hadn’t told him, but he wouldn’t put it past the other man.

“Yes,” Castiel says, anxiety reaching from his stomach to rest at the back of his throat. “What happened?”

“We have Mr Winchester here at Bass Coast Regional Health Hospital, and we need a few details from you to make sure that Mr Winchester can be fully cared for.”

“What happened?” Castiel repeats. There’s a pause on the other end.

“Mr Winchester was admitted for a severe concussion to the back of his head. We’re also worried about the amount of blood he may have lost while unconscious, resulting from the laceration on the back of his head. Now is Mr Winchester allergic to anything?”

“No,” Castiel replies. He’s shoving his things in his bag, and turning off his computer, which takes forever like always. “Where did you say you were?”

“Bass Coast Regional Health,” she says.

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” he says.

Jo looks shocked as he runs past her.

“Cas, what’s wrong?”

“Dean was admitted to Bass Coast Regional for a severe concussion, they just called me. I’m going, cover for me and I’ll call you as soon as I get there.”

Jo looks stunned but nods. He answers the woman’s other questions, as he hurries towards his car.

“I’m going to drive now, do you need anything else?”

“That should be all. Thank you for your cooperation,” she says as she hangs up.

Castiel stares down at his phone before he throws everything in and starts driving. His GPS tells him that it’s a forty minute drive, but he thinks he can make it in half an hour if he tries.

~*~*~*~

“What do you mean?” Castiel asks the sheriff. The name badge on her shirt says Jody.

Jody sighs. “This was found on Dean’s chest when Missouri walked in on him on the floor.”

Castiel takes the plastic bag. Inside is a piece of paper.

_LEAVE CASTIEL ALONE. NEXT TIME WE WON’T BE AS LENIENT._

Castiel looks up at Jody.

“Who would want to protect you, Castiel?” Jody repeats. Her voice may be pleasant, but her eyes are hard, and Castiel knows that she won’t stop until she has her answers.

“I might have an idea,” Castiel mutters. Jody is still looking at him.

“My brothers,” Castiel finally says, breaking the long silence between them. “Michael and Lucifer. They’re wanted in the US for drug and arms trafficking. My three other brothers and sister and I all want to stay away from them, but they keep following us wherever we go. I moved to Australia in the hopes of avoiding them. I guess that didn’t work out.” He falls silent and looks away from Jody, back into Dean’s room.

His partner is still unconscious. There’s a bandage wrapped around his head, and the machine next to him is beeping steadily. They’d given him a blood transfusion and told Castiel he’d wake up eventually.

“Would you be willing to tell me more about them?” Jody asks.

“I can tell you that you’re not going to find them,” Castiel says, looking back at her. “No matter what you do. They hide, and they wait, and they strike. After Anna, Samandriel, Gabriel, Balthazar and I left them, we’ve had very little contact, and all of it has been reported to the police. If you contact the US, maybe they’d be willing to give you the files?” Castiel shrugs. “This is hardly the first time they’ve been wanted internationally.”

Jody sighs. “Then what are you going to do?”

Castiel looks back at Dean. “I refuse to let them ruin my life. They’ll make contact eventually, and when they do I will tell them in no uncertain terms that they are not to harm Dean, or anyone else here. They should listen.”

“Do you have that much sway over them?” Jody asks him.

Castiel shrugs. “Sometimes it seems like I could tell them to go and hand themselves in and they’d do it. Other times it’s like they do exactly what I ask them _not_ to do, just to prove that they can. But usually in personal matters they agree to what my siblings and I ask of them. They claim it’s to prove that they’re still our brothers and they still care about us.”

Jody nods slowly. “Alright. I’ll organise what I want to do and then contact you.”

“Very well,” Castiel says. Jody leaves, and he turns back to Dean. He stares at his still body, feeling a turmoil of emotions trying to crawl up his throat. He closes his eyes and is startled when a tear slips out of one.

He wipes it away and then quietly enters Dean’s room. The chair beside his bed is uncomfortable, but he sits down anyway. Dean is pale and there’s a bruise slowly blooming along his right cheek. It must have been where he’d hit the floor after he was knocked out. He looks small in the oversized hospital gown, and the entire room feels unreal to Castiel. Like he’s just dreaming, and that if he pinches himself hard enough, he’ll wake up. He tries it and nothing happens. He watches a red mark appear where his fingers had clenched down, and tries not to think about anything.

**> > any change???? (7:34pm)**

**< < Not yet. The doctors say he should wake up soon, though. (7:36pm)**

**> > as soon as my shifts over im coming up. Jody said she was up there any leads on who did this yet?? (7:36pm)**

**< < I’ll tell you when you get here.(7:39pm)**

Castiel puts down his phone and resolutely ignores Jo’s other text messages. He looks down at Dean’s still face and wonders  why he ran if his old life was just going to catch up to his new one.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel apologises softly. “I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I shouldn’t have…”

“You’ve never been good at keeping people distant, Castiel.”

Castiel swallows. Slowly, he looks up to the doorway, dreading what he knows he’ll see there.

Michael is standing in the doorway. His hair had been cut since Castiel last saw him, and he hasn’t shaved for a few days.

“Michael,” Castiel says. He looks towards the call button, but Michael comes and sits down in the chair opposite Castiel, next to it.

“You won’t be calling anyone, Castiel,” Michael says. “You and I are going to have a nice, private chat.” Castiel clenches his jaw as Michael leans towards him, over Dean.

“How did you find me?” Castiel asks, taking a breath and keeping his voice level.

“We never lost you,” Michael replies easily. “What, you expected us to let you and the rest of the family go that easily? We’re family. We belong together.”

“None of us want to belong to you,” Castiel says quietly. “Why did you do this to Dean? He hasn’t hurt me, and he’s done nothing wrong.”

“Yes, well, Lucifer did that before consulting me. You know he’s always jealous of any… long term affairs that any of you have with anyone outside the family. And he’s always been impulsive. I believe he saw you two kissing somewhere public, and couldn’t stand it.”

They’d been at the beach last week; with Dean all salty and wet from the water, Castiel has tasted it on his lips as they’d kissed. While it had been fairly early in the morning with not many people around, it had been public, and recent.

“You know how it is,” Michael shrugs. “But that’s not what I came here to talk to you about.”

“I don’t care what you want to talk to me about,” Castiel hisses. “You assaulted Dean, and you won’t leave any of us alone. Can’t you just leave us be, and go on your way with Lucifer?”

Michael frowns. “We should all be together, Castiel. That’s the natural way of things. Lucifer and I think that you should have reconsidered our offer by now. Join us, and we can all be a family again.”

“I’d rather not,” Castiel says shortly. “Please leave.”

Michael doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t get up either. “Castiel, you will join Lucifer and I. All of you will. It’s simply a matter of time.”

“No it isn’t,” Castiel says. “You hurt Dean. I’m not leaving with you.”

Michael snorts. “How long have you known this man? Five months? Less? What is he to you? Nothing. We are your real family.”

“Nevertheless, if you hurt Dean again, I will not stop until you are both caught and put to justice,” Castiel promises lowly. “Now leave.”

Michael must see something in his eyes to convince him that Castiel is serious. He stands up and brushes imaginary dust off his lap. “Very well. But we will be watching, Castiel. Remember that.”

Castiel watches as he leaves. He looks down at Dean and sighs heavily.

“What am I going to do?” He asks the quiet room. Unsurprisingly, there’s no answer.

That doesn’t stop Castiel from feeling alone.

~*~*~*~

Dean heads back into work the week after Cas’ crazy brother had put him in hospital.

He’s still trying to digest everything as he does inventory on the shop’s stock. Cas had told him everything about his brothers when Dean had woken up the morning after he’d been knocked out. That kind of explained why Cas never talked about his family, and it raised a whole host of other questions that Cas had been willing to answer.

Apparently after their parents had died when Cas had been ten, Michael and Lucifer had already been dabbling in the drug trade. That had escalated quickly after the parental figures in their life disappeared, and soon enough both were working together to manage the entire drug trade of the west of America. They were ruthless and brutal, trusted each other explicitly, and worked together excellently as a team. It made them a deadly combination.

Gabriel had tried to leave when he turned twenty, but Michael had convinced him to stay. However, when he saw that his other siblings were suffering, he arranged a mass exodus, and they went to the police with all that they knew. The two oldest Novak’s had had less influence over the rest of them after that. Cas had gone to school with Balthazar to get their degrees, and they had all gone their separate ways, Michael and Lucifer only making sporadic appearances in their lives.

Benny had tried to give him light shifts, but Dean had refused, and he’s due to head out in a few minutes. He puts the box down and away, heading out to the main area where Charlie is waiting for him. She’d insisted on taking the main role for tonight, which meant that he just had to stand there and answer any questions that anyone had. The tourist season is at its peak, so there should be lots of people there, which is good.

Charlie smiles at him and leads the way out, down the boardwalk and towards the Plus area. The crowd is smaller than usual tonight, and Dean appreciates the break. That way, when he isn’t answering questions, he can spend the time watching the waves, and then the penguins as they make their way up to their burrows for the night. The sun dips below the horizon, and soon they’re left in twilight, with just the floodlights from the main area and the stars to see by. Dean thinks that it’s more than enough.

He insists that Charlie goes up first, which means that he is the one to stay behind and lock up. All the Plus tourists leave quicker than he’s used to, so he gets everything sorted there quicker than normal.  He locks up, turning all the lights off and making sure everything’s secure before he heads over to his Jeep to drive to Cas’ place. Cas is making dinner for them, and while Dean doesn’t know what it is, he knows it’s going to be good. Cas rarely _cooks_ , cooks, Dean making their food most of the time when they stay at each other’s houses for a meal. But when Cas does spend time in the kitchen, he makes it count. Dean’s mouth is watering just thinking about it.

He opens the door to Cas’ house, taking a deep breath in as he relaxes. He can smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen, and just being here was making him feel good.

“Dean?” Cas calls from the other room. “That you?”

“No, just a burglar,” Dean calls back, shrugging off his jacket and laying it over the back of the couch.

“Haha, very funny,” Cas says. Dean toes his shoes off and then heads into the kitchen, where Cas is stirring something over the stove. Dean comes up behind him and nuzzles into the back of his neck, wrapping his arms around him loosely.

Cas turns his head for a kiss, and then focuses on the food. Dean watches as he adds a little more salt and then stirs it again. It’s some sort of dark sauce, tomato and onion and basil.

“What you cooking?” Dean asks. “Looks good.”

“You think any food that you don’t have to cook looks good,” Cas says with good humour. “It’s a sauce to go with our pasta. Now that you’re here, I can put that one as well.”

Dean lets him go so Cas can pour the boiled water from the jug over the noodles in the pan, clicking the gas stove on. “They shouldn’t be long,” he says. “We can eat soon.”

Dean grabs out some cutlery and plates, watching as Cas hovers over the stove, watching his creations. The domestic nature of their relationship had been settling around them lately, and it’s something that Dean can’t say he minds.

They settle down to eat the pasta, with Cas smiling when Dean praises it. It’s gone soon enough, and they’re left to talking about what had happened to them that day.

“And then Jo said ‘Cas ate the cookies,’ to which I replied strongly that I had not. We eventually realised that Kevin had eaten them all,” Cas said, swirling what remained of his water around in his cup before he drank it. “I didn’t even get to try one.”

Dean smiles at his story. It’s good hearing about Jo from someone other than Jo herself.

“I have no idea where you guys get the time to get up to stuff like that,” Dean tells him. “At the resort it’s just work, work, work.”

Cas rolls his eyes. “Maybe that’s because you often take the jobs where it’s only you?” He asks. “I’m sure the others find mischief during the day while you’re out.”

“True,” Dean muses. “We don’t have much time when the Parade is going on, so they must muck up during the day.”

“How’d it go today?” Cas asks. Today had been the first time he’d been out with the penguins and the public after being put in hospital.

“It was okay,” Dean tells him. “My back is killing me though,” he adds unhappily. It’s what happens when he spends a few hours standing up when he’s not quite used to it. He hadn’t been taking many night shifts before his impromptu holiday, and his lack of practise meant that after he’d had a break it was even worse.

Cas frowns, looking worried. “You know, I can help with that if you want.”

Dean raises his eyebrows. “What exactly would you suggest?” Whenever he gets a back ache normally, he usually just rubs some anti-inflammatory medicine on it. There isn’t much of any type of medicine at Cas’ place, but he could wait until he gets home to put some on.

Cas lifts an eyebrow. “I know how to deal with back pain. Anna has showed me some of her tricks, over the years. She told me it was because no one else would give her a back rub, and she wanted to make sure that I could do it properly.”

Dean smiles slightly. “And you’d help?” He asks, watching Cas’s face. This might be a step too far in Cas’ ‘take it slow,’ although it might also be a step in the right direction. Dean wants as much as Cas would give him.

Cas nods. “If you’d like. Anna is a professional masseuse, you know.”

Dean grins at the shorter man. “If you wanted to get me naked you only had to ask, Cas.”

Cas lifts an eyebrow and smiles wryly. He goes to dig a bottle out of his cupboard, turning around to see Dean pulling his shirt off.

Dean sees that it’s some sort of fancy scented massage oil, but he doesn’t complain when Cas turns to the stairs and says, “Follow me.”

Dean follows Cas upstairs. “Lie down,” Cas tells him, gesturing to his bed. It’s a double and looks very Cas with its neat, folded sheets, and a simple geometric pattern on the doona.

“I would tell you to buy me dinner first but you’ve already done that,” Dean jokes as he lays stomach down on top of the covers. He isn’t sure what he’s expecting but when he turns his head to look at Cas, he sees the other man taking off his shoes, socks, shirt and belt he blinks.

“Taking it a bit fast Cas? You have to tell me when you’re going to strip so I can appreciate it.” And Dean really, really wants to see the wings completely uncovered.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Cas rolls his eyes and throws a leg over Dean, straddling him. Dean yelps and props himself up on his elbows, looking back at Cas.

“What are you doing?” He asks, startled.

“Where did you think I was going to sit?” Cas asks, amusement clear in his voice.

Cas opens the bottle and gets to work evening out any knots he can find in Dean’s back. Dean tenses as Cas gently but firmly works out the kinks.

After a while Dean comes out of the pleasant haze he had been experiencing enough to realise that Cas isn’t exactly massaging him anymore, and is just running his hands over Dean’s back, tracing the contours.

He suddenly becomes very aware of the lithe body above him that is wearing almost no clothes whatsoever, Dean waits until Cas leans down and places a gentle kiss on the top of his neck before twisting and grabbing him. Dean rolls Cas onto his back and settles over him lightly.

Neither of them say anything. Dean locks eyes with Cas before leaning in and pressing their mouths together. Cas lets out a satisfied little sigh beneath him, and kisses him back. Dean keeps the kisses soft at first, pressing up against Cas in a way that seemed like it could be an accident, but definitely isn’t. Cas smiles against his mouth, bringing his hands up to rest against Dean’s back, pulling him closer. Dean obliges, pushing down on Cas, who doesn’t seem to mind.

Tangling their legs together, Dean kisses Cas’ cheek and chin before moving down and nipping his throat, biting the skin and then soothing it with kitten licks and kisses. Cas wriggles below him, and Dean smiles, finding a collar bone and sucking on it in earnest. Cas moans, and Dean takes his time, only leaning back when he knows there will be a noticeable bruise there. This isn’t the first time they’ve got to making out like this, but Dean can feel the soft privacy of the bedroom around them, and the whole night ahead of them. He needs to know that Cas is okay with this before anything else happens.

Before he goes any lower, Dean trails a hand over Cas’s stomach, looking up at the other man. “Is this alright?” He asks, his voice about as husky as he had expected it to be. He doesn’t want to move too fast for Cas, and he’s happy to let the other man set the pace. If Cas wants him to back off, then he will.

Cas’s eyes are blown, the black of his pupils nearly eclipsing the vibrant blue. He pauses for a second, blinking a few times, and Dean is just getting ready to draw back when Cas nods. “It’s fine,” he says. Then he frowns and seems to consider what he just said. “It’s good.” Nodding to himself like he likes that answer better he seems to wait for another moment, but when Dean doesn’t move he scowls. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

Letting out a huff of laughter, Dean trails his mouth down Cas’ chest, tracing the muscles there with his tongue and tasting the _Cas_ taste that Dean associates with him. It’s a mix of that lavender soap he likes, and wind and that taste in the air that you can feel at the back of your throat before a thunderstorm. Dean isn’t sure how anyone can pull that off, but Cas manages. Cas brings a hand up to thread through his hair and Dean can’t say he minds.

Cas lets out a soft sound as Dean finds one of his nipples at the same time his hands unbuttons his jeans. Laving his tongue over the nipple, Dean feels it pebble and harden in his mouth. Dean grinds his palm down on Cas’ erection, smirking when Cas whines and arcs into the touch. Cas helps Dean wriggle him out of his pants, and Dean takes a moment to just look at the naked body beneath him.

“I find it unfair that I’m naked and that you are not,” Cas complains, frowning at Dean’s clothes.

“Then are you going to do anything about it?” Dean waggles his eyebrows at Cas, who immediately dives for Dean’s belt.  Within thirty seconds Cas is throwing Dean’s jeans away, and Dean finally, _finally_ grinds down against Cas, both of them gasping at the friction. Dean winds his arms around Cas, feeling the long, bare length of him against his skin.

Dean grabs Cas’ mouth with his own, and he prods his tongue against Cas’s lips, who opens up for him. Setting up a rhythm, Dean ruts against Cas, who is making all types of lovely noises under him. Cas wraps a leg around Dean’s waist, giving both of them better access. Dean takes a hand from Cas’ hair and wraps a hand around their cocks, giving them a funnel to move through and against each other more easily. Dean rubs his fingers over the head of Cas’ leaking dick for some slickness to ease the friction, feeling Cas shiver as he does it. He slides his fingers back around them, now slightly wet, and squeezes them both. Cas groans and Dean hears himself echo it.

Nuzzling into Cas’ throat, Dean thrusts down into the tunnel his fingers created, and listens to the light gasps Cas is producing, and the occasional ‘Dean,’ that lets him know when he’d done something right.

Pressing his forehead against Cas’, Dean keeps his eyes open, and Cas, who stares at him constantly anyway, opens his eyes to keep up the eye contact. Gradually their almost frantic grinding slows until they are only rocking against each other.

Dean can feel the need rioting through him, but for the moment this is enough.

“There’s supplies in the bedside table,” Cas whispers, still not breaking eye contact.

“Cas, we don’t have to do that now,” Dean tells the smaller man, kissing him lightly.

Dean hears Cas swallow. “I want you to fuck me Dean,” Cas tells him, and Dean bucks against him, before kissing him again, not so lightly, pressing his tongue into every corner of Cas’ mouth he can reach. Because, wow.

He isn’t one to say no to an invitation like that, so he rolls off Cas and rummages through the drawer next to Cas’ bed. He finds both a tube of lube and an unopened box of condoms, which he tears open before grabbing one. Cas grabs his thigh and yanks him back on top of him, wrapping a leg around Dean. Dean kisses his way down Cas’ body, grazing Cas’ ribs and stomach with his teeth, before clicking open the lube and covering his fingers with it.

Getting to Cas’ hipbones, Dean decides that they look too clean and perfect. Fixing his mouth over one, he ignores Cas’ cock, which is hard and leaking and sliding over his chest in favour of making as many bruises as he can along Cas’ hipbones. They flower beautifully, and Dean sucks and bites and works for every one of them. Once he has them there to his satisfaction, he moves his mouth lower.

Putting an open mouthed kiss against the head of Cas’ dick, Cas whimpers before shoving his hips upwards. Dean moves down and sucks Cas’ cock into his mouth, listening to the sounds Cas is making with satisfaction. Dean bobs up and down a few times, working his tongue on the underside before he pulls off with a pop, hearing Cas’ soft sigh above him.

“You ever done this before?” Dean asks lowly.

“Only with myself,” Cas admits. He wriggles against Dean when Dean presses his fingers down lower, obviously inviting him in.

Gently, he presses one of his fingers against Cas’ hole, feeling the body under him tense up for a second before relaxing. Dean continues sucking as he circles his finger, pressing against the opening before retreating. He does it for a minute before Cas whines above him. When Dean looks up, his head is thrown back and his throat is moving with each heavy breath. “Dean, please,” Cas says, and Dean bucks into the bed, Cas’ words making heat slide down his spine. “ _Please_ , more.”

And he can’t say no to that. Dean presses his finger inside Cas up to the first joint, trying not to moan as he feels the tight heat take him in. Wriggling around to loosen Cas up, Dean lifts his head, watching Cas squirm down onto his finger, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth. Pressing it in further, Dean slides his finger in and out a few times before pressing two fingers against Cas’ opening. Cas stays relaxed, but Dean can see the tension that the other man is carrying across his shoulders, and he waits until that is gone before he starts scissoring his fingers.

Cas is beautiful like this; writhing under his touch, making sounds that are for Dean only. Moving his fingers around, Dean searches for the sweet spot he knows is there. When Cas suddenly gasps and half sits up, shoving himself down on Dean’s fingers, he knows had just found it. Letting Cas fuck himself on his fingers, Dean watches as Cas twists and moans, how he’s spread out just for Dean’s benefit. Adding a third finger, Cas tenses before slowly moving down, clenching his walls. Dean watches Cas’ eyelids flutter and how Cas’ throat bobs when he swallows as he moves carefully, stretching himself out.

Dean moves his fingers up, scissoring them and watching Cas’ reaction. Cas gasps quietly and then moans as Dean continues his movements. Cas’ lower lip is red as he chews on it, forehead creased and with his hands gripping the sheets tightly. Dean preps Cas as quickly as he can, moving his fingers, because he _wants_ , and this is taking far too long. He rips open the condom with his teeth and spare hand before rolling it on and slicking up his cock with the lube. He tosses the bottle to the side and eases his fingers out of Cas’ ass.

Cas whines and Dean crawls up his body, kissing Cas. Cas wraps his legs around Dean’s waist, putting Dean in the best position. Dean grabs a pillow and pushes it under his hips so Cas’ back won’t cramp up, then locked eyes with Cas again before he presses his cock against Cas’ hole.

“ _Come on,_ Dean,” Cas says, obviously trying to keep his voice level so it doesn’t reach whining territory.

“That’s one of the goals here Cas, I’m working towards it, don’t worry,” Dean replies, grinning him. Cas narrows his eyes but doesn’t say anything, instead tightening his legs. He’s probably decided the best way to shut Dean up is to give him something else to think about, and he’s probably right.

Dean takes himself in hand and guides his cock to where they both want it. He slowly breaches the ring of muscles, and Dean fights to not shove himself inside Cas in one go. Instead he gradually eases in until his hips are resting solidly against Cas’ ass. Letting out a deep breath, Dean leans his forehead on Cas’. Cas has his eyes closed, and Dean takes the opportunity to study Cas close up while the other man isn’t watching him in return. Dean moves down and begins nuzzling just under his jaw, licking the skin there softly. Cas sighs slightly and tilts his head back so that Dean can have better access. Tracing his hands over the man beneath him, he settles them on Cas’ waist, ready to move when Cas tells him he can.

After a minute Cas shifts, opening his eyes. Dean lets go of the skin he had in his mouth and surveys his work. Smiling, Dean leans up and looks Cas in the eye. Cas looks completely trusting, and something in Dean balks at that, the look of utter faith in his eyes. He doesn’t want Cas to trust him that much. He doesn’t deserve anyone’s complete trust. Cas frowns slightly, and Dean gently kisses it away.

“It’s alright, Dean,” Cas whispers, and Dean isn’t sure if he’s talking about himself and Dean being able to move, or if he’s talking about something else, something Dean doesn’t want to think about. With a breath, Dean pulls out nearly all the way before pushing back in, achingly slowly. With each repetition he slides and out faster than the one before. Cas begins meeting him thrust for thrust, and taking that as a sign that he could really get into it, Dean begins putting more force behind his movements.

Cas gasps and Dean tries to aim at that spot inside him, which had Cas breathless and moaning.

“Dean,” Cas pants, and Dean answers in kind.

“Cas,” he grounds out, feeling sweat forming on both of their bodies.

Chasing his orgasm, Dean buries his face in Cas’ neck, kissing the skin there, licking and biting and sucking it. Cas’ hands come up to scratch at his back, and Dean revels in the feeling as they move together. It takes them a few minutes until they’ve settled into each other’s rhythms, Dean moving in slow, strong movements, grinding up against Cas every times he bottoms out. Cas’ breath is loud in his ear, and he makes the occasional soft whimper when Dean moves in a way he particularly likes. Cas’ soft sounds gradually turn into louder ones, and he gasps loudly when Dean works a hand in between them to wrap his fingers around his cock.

Dean works through the warning signs coming from his thighs and belly to keep thrusting, seeing Cas’ head thrown back so the line of his throat is long and bare, and watching how Cas bites his lip to try to keep in his sounds. Dean leans up to kiss him, wet and sloppy and uncoordinated.

“Relax, Cas,” Dean mutters. “You’re safe here.”

Cas lets out a sigh and then his soft cries are much more frequent. Dean twists his hand sharply, trying to find out what really makes him tick, only to have Cas let out a startled sound as he comes between them, shuddering under him and pulsing out hot strings of come on both their bellies. Dean thrusts two more times before the clenching of Cas’ walls pushes him over the edge. Stilling inside Cas and biting down on his shoulder, Dean works through his orgasm, before collapsing on top of him.

Cas is panting slightly, and Dean looks up at him, grinning.

“Not bad,” he murmurs into his skin, nuzzling the bite on Cas’ neck. Cas huffs out a laugh as they lay there, both content to be in the presence of the other. It’s a few minutes before Cas pushes at him lazily.

“Move, you’re heavy,” he mutters. Dean grins at him languidly before pulling out. Cas lets out a protesting moan, and Dean feels a spike in his gut at seeing Cas’ stretched out asshole, even though he’s not getting it up again anytime soon. Pulling off the condom, he ties it off and puts on the bedside table alongside the lube.

“Not bad yourself,” Cas says softly as he rolls over to face him. Dean takes a tissue from the tissue box on the bedside table and gently wipes up all of his come that had begun to dry over both of them. He throws the tissue aside and slides his hand around to Cas’ lower back, bringing him closer so Dean can lean forward and kiss him. Cas smiles softly and kisses him back before turning around so Dean can fit himself into the contours of Cas’ back. Dean makes sure that he’s as close as he can be, tucked up against Cas and the design along his shoulders before settling in and pulling the covers up over them. Pressing a light kiss to the back of Cas’ neck, Dean wraps his arms around the man in front of him, and lets himself drop off to sleep.

~*~*~*~

Castiel wakes slowly, warm and content. He aches, and it takes him a moment to remember why. He had had sex with Dean. Just the thought of it makes him smile. Thinking of Dean, Castiel cannot feel him against him or in the bed, and recalls that Dean had said he had to go early into work the next day. Rolling over, he squints at the time.

_4:55_

Deciding that before five o’clock is a ridiculous time to get up, Castiel is sitting up in bed when Dean comes back in with a note in his hand. He’s fully dressed and most likely about to leave after putting the note on the bedside table.

“Cas, hey, good morning. I didn’t want to wake you up, sorry.”

“Well it’s too late for that,” Castiel grumbles. What he wants to do now he is awake is to pull Dean back in bed and take all of his annoying clothes off again, but he knows Dean has his job to go to.

Sliding out of bed, he shivers and hugs Dean, wrapping his arms around his neck and yawning against the taller man. Dean slides his hands down his back, resting them on Castiel’s ass. Shivering for a different reason now, Castiel kisses him, tilting his head up and arcing into Dean’s touch. He wants Dean’s touch to linger on him, so all the world can see Dean on him. He wonders for a second if everyone feels this way after having sex with someone for the first time, but then Dean slips one hand between his cheeks and prods his hole, clearing most thoughts from his mind. Finding it still open, he works a finger inside. Castiel cries out and opens his legs, knees going weak, panting faintly at the speed which he reacts. Dean kisses him again, working his tongue into his mouth.

Turning Castiel around, Dean presses two fingers inside him, stroking at his insides. Castiel feels the other hand sliding along his hip bone before it dips lower and tightens around his dick. He throws his head back, and Dean takes advantage of the expanse of skin to kiss his neck. Dean pushes him onto the bed, and is crouching over him before Castiel can move.

He pauses, and Castiel is just about to start wondering why when Dean’s hand runs over his tattoo. Feeling suddenly exposed, Castiel tenses slightly. Dean must feel it, because he simply kisses his shoulder blades gently before clicking open the lube. He pushes three fingers back into him, cooler and slick now, and Castiel gasps, the feeling of fingers beside his own inside him still unfamiliar.

“I should go,” Dean murmurs, before biting down on a shoulder blade. Castiel groans and his dick twitches, sending a spurt of pre-come over Dean’s fingers.

“And be sexually frustrated all day?” Castiel asks between his heavy breaths. He can feel Dean hard against him, nudging at his ass.

“True,” Dean says, and stands, taking his fingers out. Castiel takes in a shaky breath and tries to fight down his disappointment, but then he hears a zipper being undone and his bedside table drawer being opened. There’s crinkle of plastic and then Dean is back on top of him, still fully dressed with his pants undone just enough to give him access.

The rubber of the condom nudges against Castiel’s, and Dean bites down on another patch of skin, this time on his back.

“You like marking,” Castiel says shakily, and Dean hums his agreement, pushing in. Castiel gasps, arcing back against the touch. Dean sets a pace that doesn’t let up, fast and fierce, in opposition to what he’d been like last night. Castiel moans when he comes all over his bed, getting the already dirty sheets filthier. He falls down into his mess and Dean comes a few thrusts later. Castiel listens to his rough breathing and tries to steady his own.

“Just an apology for getting you up early,” Dean murmurs, standing up and turning Castiel over. Leaning over him, Dean once more tries to map out the deepest areas of his mouth and down his throat with his tongue. Dean leans back, pulling the condom off and tying it off before putting it in the bin in the corner. Tucking his cock back in his pants after he’s wiped it off, Dean zips his pants back up.

“You can wake me up early anytime,” Castiel says shakily.

Dean smiles, leaning down to kiss him lightly. “I’ll call you when I get off, okay?”

Castiel nods, and watches Dean leave.

It feels like his heart is beating unsteadily, even though it’s not. Dean has that effect on him, apparently, whether he’s laughing at his own joke on top of a hill while they’re on a picnic, or after having sex. Castiel goes and showers, before he strips his bed and puts the sheets in his washing machine. He eats a larger bowl of cereal than he normally would, hungry after the exercise.

Watching the sun rise, Castiel wonders what Dean is doing now, if he was late for work because he was fucking Castiel. The thought makes a smile form on his face, and he walks around the house naked, not wanting the feeling of Dean’s mouth and Dean’s hands and Dean’s cock to fade just yet.

The sun is coming through his bedroom windows when he goes up there to replace his sheets. Catching sight of himself in the mirror, Castiel pauses. His upper chest and neck are covered in bite marks and hickeys. There are older ones that were put there last night and ones that were put there an hour ago. The bruises stampede over his hipbones, deep colours on both sides of his body. Turning, he looks at his back. The marks that Dean made this morning are just starting to come up, hovering over his wings, which Dean hasn’t touched. He stares at them for a longer than he should, remembering how Dean had avoided his wings after Cas had tensed up when he’d brushed against them. It makes his throat close up slightly.

He has to go in to work today, no matter how much he wants to linger over what had happened last night. And this morning, he muses to himself.

He reluctantly gets dressed and gets ready to go in. He’s wearing a shirt with a collar, but he still feels like anyone can see the marks that Dean had left on his skin.

Castiel gathers his work supplies. Putting them into his car, he stops off at the café and grabs some coffee. It still isn’t as good as the ones Gabriel makes, and Castiel resigns himself to the substandard coffee. It’s still the best he’s found on the island, so he has to deal with it. One of the downsides to living in a small community.

He’s going through some paper work when his phone buzzes. When he looks at it, it’s a text from Jo.

**> > some guy just came in asking about you. he says that you know him, what should I do???? (10:51am)**

Castiel narrows his eyes at the message suspiciously.

**< < Tell him where I am. (10:52am)**

Whoever this mystery man is, Castiel will deal with him. His colleagues are only a shout away if it’s someone unsavoury, but if it is, he doesn’t want Jo to get in trouble, especially if it’s someone from Michael and Lucifer. He can take care of himself, most of the time.

Sorting through the papers on his desk with his back to the door, Castiel doesn’t immediately turn around to see who the person coming in is. However, when he hears a familiar voice, he spins around.

“Castiel!”

Castiel swings around. “Gabriel?” He asks in disbelief.

“Hey little bro,” Gabriel chimes, seating himself in the other chair in Castiel’s office.

Castiel shakes his head slowly. “I hope you’re not here to waste my time, Gabriel. I have a job, as you can see.”

Gabriel pouts at him. “Even when I came all this way just to see you?”

“Even when you came all this way just to see me.”

Gabriel snorts. “You haven’t changed a bit, Cassie.”

“Neither have you.”

“And that’s a good thing,” Gabriel says before he winks at Castiel.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “What are you doing here Gabriel?”

“Can’t someone drop in and see his little brother?” When Castiel doesn’t answer Gabriel shakes his head. “You need to be a little more trusting Castiel.”

“Michael and Lucifer turned up last week and threatened myself and my partner, trying to get me back into the fold. I do not know if you have folded under their pressure and are here to try and persuade me.”

Gabriel leans forward, a worried expression on his face. “Michael and Lucifer were here?”

Castiel nods. Gabriel bites his bottom lip. “I didn’t know Castiel, honest. Fuck, they probably knew I was flying over and are probably going to corner me while I’m here.”

“Probably.”

“Wait a second… Did you say partner?”

Castiel blushes, he can feel the blood staining his cheeks. “Yes.”

Gabriel leans over and pulls down his collar. Seeing the bruises there, he leans back and grins. “Finally getting some action are we?”

Castiel purses his lips and says nothing.

“And from the way you’re sitting, you went all out didn’t you?”

Castiel looks at the ceiling, hoping this would end sooner rather than later. Gabriel specialises in reading people’s body language and movements. He can also control his own, which is why Castiel only trusts him as far as he can throw him. Sometimes he would seek work at hospitals or counselling facilities, but what he really liked doing was serving advice with his ridiculously good coffee. He would read people’s body language and tell them something he thought would help when they collected their order. Gabriel claimed that he only did it because he liked seeing how it freaked people out, but Castiel knew he liked helping people, albeit in roundabout, unorthodox ways.

“So how’s the coffee here?”

“Horrible,” Castiel tells his older brother.

“Hmm,” Gabriel hums.

“Gabriel,” Castiel starts, a warning note in his voice.

“Yeah?” Gabriel asks far too innocently.

“You are not starting a coffee shop here.”

“Why not? We’d be together, I’d get to meet your mystery man since you’d probably hide him from me if I was only staying temporarily, you think this place is good, otherwise you wouldn’t have moved here, there’s only shit coffee so people would flock to my shop, we could band together against our crazy big brothers… I’m seeing no downsides here.”

“I’m seeing the downside where I have to deal with you.”

“Aww, Castiel, you hurt my feelings! Is me being here so terrible?”

Castiel cannot help the smile that comes over his face. It truly is not that bad to have Gabriel around, as long as you don’t have to spend long periods of time around him.

“See! I’m not that bad.”

“I still don’t see why you would want to come down here.”

Gabriel’s smile drops. “Michael and Lucifer were here, probably still are here. Anna is looking to buy and Samandriel already has a flat in Melbourne he’s going to be living in for the foreseeable future; Balthazar’s moving in with him until he can find a place of his own. Our eldest siblings have been using increasing force to get us to come back into the business. So we’re going to band together and make sure the message gets across that we’re not going back, okay?”

Castiel sighs. “I’ve spent the last year trying to get away from reminders of our family. And you’re going to bring them all down here?”

Gabriel nods, face serious. “This is where you picked, bro. We were pretty sure that you weren’t going to be inclined to move after you spent so much time searching for your perfect place to live.”

“Well you guessed right. I’m not moving.”

“And that has nothing to do with your mystery man, right?” Gabriel smirks, leaning in closer. “Tell me about him. Is he short or tall? What colour is his eyes? How did you meet?”

“I’m not telling you anything about Dean, Gabriel.”

“So his name is Dean! Meh, he could have had a better name.”

“I happen to like his name just fine,” Castiel says. He can feel himself blushing.

“Aww, little brother’s got it bad,” Gabriel coos. “How sweet.”

“Shut up,” Castiel mutters, but he doesn’t put much effort into it. If he’s going to put up with his brother, he’s going to have to put up with his teasing as well. “I’ll introduce you to Dean soon enough. Have you looked at any houses or potential cafés yet?”

Gabriel shrugs and leans back in the chair. “I’ll find something. Isn’t your house massive? Can’t I crash for a while there?”

Castiel sighs to himself. “Is that the real reason why you wanted to come and talk to me?” He asks his older brother.

“Course not,” Gabriel scoffs. “But while I’m here, it doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?”

Castiel looks at him for a few seconds before resisting the urge to throw his hands up in the air. “Very well. Until you find your own place.”

Gabriel crows in delight, and Castiel finds himself caught up in a hug. He wraps his owns arms around Gabriel, breathing in his scent and finding comfort in it. It’s been too long since he’s seen him.

“Awesome,” Gabriel says. “When do you get off here?”

“Five,” Castiel replies.

“Hmm,” Gabriel hums. “So… Can I borrow your keys and poke around your house? Please? I’ve got nothing better to do.”

Castiel raises an eyebrow. “As long as you unpack all your things before I get home. I do not want to be tripping over boxes in the middle of the night.”

“Of course,” Gabriel promises solemnly. “I would never.”

Castiel huffs slightly, but he still reaches down to fish his keys out of his bag. “Here. You know the address already?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel tells him. “Thanks, Cassie.”

“You’re welcome,” Castiel replies. “Now leave. I have actual work to be doing.”

Gabriel snorts. “If you say so. Toodles!”

Castiel shakes his head as his brother leaves. It’s very like Gabriel to just show up out of the blue, but he’s going to need to think over some of the things that his brother told him.

Those thoughts are still running through his head when he’s hiding food around the penguin habitat later that day. At the moment there’s only one penguin in there, which is both good and bad. She doesn’t have any company, but on the other hand, having no penguins means that there aren’t any injured penguins that need help.

“How are they all doing?”

Castiel startles as a hand comes down to rest on his shoulder. When he looks up Dean is smiling at him softly.

“We’ve only got one currently,” Castiel replies. He stands up and accepts Dean’s kiss, savouring the casualness of it.

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” Castiel says. “It is.”

He leads Dean out of the room and into the observation area. He presses the switch that unlocks the door between there and the penguins burrow, even though he doesn’t expect the young female to come out just yet. It’s still too early in the day.

“What are you doing here?” Castiel asks him quietly. Dean wraps an arm around his waist and tugs him closer as they watch the empty habitat.

“Got off early,” Dean says. “Benny’s still insisting that I should take a break after your brother ambushed me. He’s taking the passive aggressive approach: making sure that I don’t have any of the night shifts.”

Castiel winces at the reminder of what Lucifer did. “Well, it means that you have more free time,” he comments.

“Yeah, but I don’t get to go and see the Parade unless I specifically go down there for it, and I think that spending time at your workplace when you don’t have to is just a bit sad, even if you do love said workplace.”

“Fair enough,” Castiel replies. “Speaking of my family…”

“What did they do now?” Dean asks, voice going low and angry. Castiel rolls his eyes.

“My third oldest brother, Gabriel came by this morning.” Castiel takes a deep breath in. “He’s moving down here as well. I agreed to let him stay at home until he’s found wherever he wants to buy.”

Dean pulls back a little to look at him, eyes wide and concerned. “Are you sure that this Gabriel isn’t with your other two brothers?”

“I’m sure,” Castiel says. “He would be the last of us to go back over to them. He actually knows what they did in the past. I probably know the least, because they all tried to shield me from it, but Gabriel knows everything. He wouldn’t go back to them, trust me on that.”

“If you say so,” Dean mutters. “But I want to meet him.”

“I’m sure you will,” Castiel says. “You trust me, though, don’t you? I wouldn’t let Gabriel stay with me unless I knew for certain that he’s not up to anything.”

There’s a pause. Castiel turns to look at Dean. He knows that Dean has issues trusting, but if they’re going to work, the trust that Castiel has for Dean has to go both ways.

“Yeah,” Dean says eventually. He lets out a long sigh. “I do trust you, Cas. But I still worry.”

“Of course you do,” Castiel replies softly. He moves to take Dean’s hand. Dean squeezes it gently and Castiel smiles at him. “And I worry about you. That’s normal. I’m just saying that Gabriel’s fine. He might be annoying sometimes, but what sibling isn’t?”

“True,” Dean agrees. “You got much more to do here before you can go?”

“Just have to check up on our guest,” Castiel says, tilting his head towards the specially designed habitat. “If she doesn’t come out, I’ll just look in on her from the burrow view.”

“It’s nearly sunset,” Dean says. “Winter’s coming. Days are getting a lot shorter. Or at least they are until daylight savings come in, but that’s not for a month or two.”

“Hmm.” Castiel slides an arm around him and leans into Dean. “And I have to check with Jo to see what else needs doing around here. I don’t know how we would all function without her, honestly.”

“I know how that feels,” Dean laughs. “She really is indispensable. Like Charlie. I don’t know what I’d do with myself if she wasn’t around.”

Castiel nods. “Yes. Come on, I don’t think she’s going to come out yet.” He breaks away from Dean to head around to where the small window for the burrow is. Dean follows him quietly, not talking while Castiel makes notes on his clipboard. Dean comes up to look at the penguin, who is nestled in the burrow and is sound asleep.

Castiel puts the clipboard down on the shelf allocated to the penguins kept in the enclosure. “Hopefully we can release her in a week or so. I just need to watch her walking around so I can make sure that her leg has healed properly.”

“And then you won’t have any patients to care for,” Dean says.

“Yes, but that’s something we hope for.” Castiel shuts the door behind them and continues on to Jo’s desk. “Unfortunately, it’s something we rarely get. I’m sure we’ll have new patients soon.”

“Hey,” Jo says. “Dean, what are you doing here?”

“Benny keeps putting me on early duty,” Dean mumbles.

“Well, he’s probably right,” Jo replies. She shakes her head. “You shouldn’t be back at work.”

“I’m fine,” Dean says.

“Of course,” Jo and Castiel say at the same time. They smile at each other when Dean huffs.

“I’m glad to know that you two are on my side.”

“You should have just taken more time off after you got out of hospital, just to make him happy.”

“I’m considering doing it just to get him off my back, honestly,” Dean mutters.

“He just cares about you,” Castiel says. “Now, Jo, is there anything else that you need help with before I go?”

Jo sighs and turns back to her computer. “A few things, but they can wait until tomorrow. Go and keep that one busy, or he’ll start pestering me.” The ways that she says it lets Castiel know that Jo wouldn’t mind, but that she is worried.

“I’ll look after him,” Castiel tells her.

“Thanks,” she says. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Castiel nods. “Stay here for a second, will you?” He asks. Dean nods.

Castiel goes back to his office and shuts down his computer. He grabs his bag and closes the door behind him, heading back out to the main area. There he extracts Dean from Jo’s conversation, herding him out the door while promises of texts are thrown back and forth.

“I want some time with you,” Castiel tells him in response to Dean’s mumbled ‘why couldn’t we stay?’

Dean stops in the middle of the car park to kiss him, running a hand through his hair and probably messing it up even further than what it had been. “You only had to say so,” he replies.

Castiel parks in his driveway and Dean parks his Jeep on the road. There’s a red Chevy opposite the house, and Castiel is going to guess that it’s Gabriel’s car. 

“Your brother here?” Dean asks him, shoving his keys in his pocket.

“Yes,” Castiel says. “Gabriel?” He calls when he opens the door.

“Yes?” Gabriel replies, sticking his head out over the bannister. “Oh, is this your boy toy?”

He comes down the stairs while Dean splutters.

“I don’t know what Cas has told you about us,” he starts.

“Oh, Cassie hardly told me anything, I had to figure out the juicy parts for myself. You must be Dean.” Gabriel narrows his eyes at Dean. Dean narrows his back. Castiel fights the urge to ask if they’re still in primary school.

“Dean, this is Gabriel. Gabriel, this is Dean. Play nice with each other, and I’m sure we can all get along.”

“You know I can,” Gabriel says, waving a hand around nonchalantly. “However, I can’t control his behaviour.”

“Dean is perfectly capable of being nice,” Castiel says.

“Yeah, I can,” Dean says. “But don’t push it.”

Gabriel looks Dean up and down slowly, clearly measuring him up. “Hmph,” Gabriel huffs. “Well, you could have done worse,” he tells Castiel, who resists the urge to sigh.

“Cas seems to think I’m a pretty good catch,” Dean says. He doesn’t fold his arms, but Castiel sees him clench his jaw before forcing himself to relax.

“So he does,” Gabriel muses. “So, are there going to be many ‘adult’ sleepovers I’m going to have to put up with?” He puts the ‘adult’ in visible quotation marks by flicking his fingers around the words.

“Gabriel,” Castiel rebukes. “Don’t make me regret telling you that you could crash here.”

“I’d never dream of it,” Gabriel says blithely. “I was just asking.” He turns and walks up the stairs, probably towards the spare bedroom where he’d put his things.  “You two have fun, and use protection!”

Dean watches him disappear with a confused sort of annoyance. “That’s Gabriel,” Castiel says, letting out a deep breath.

“Apparently,” Dean says, letting out an amused huff.

“Family’s family,” Castiel replies, and Dean nods. Castiel knows that he can understand that.

And his family’s coming to town. Castiel purses his mouth as he thinks about what Gabriel had told him. Whether he’s ready or not, things were coming to a head.

~*~*~*~

_March_

Castiel stands in the small corner shop that Gabriel had bought, holding the end of a measuring tape as his brother tries to measure out the length for the shelves he wants to put on the wall.

“Hold it against the wall,” Gabriel tells him, squinting at the faint pencil marks he’d put on the wall.

“I am, Gabriel,” Castiel says, slightly amused, but mostly annoyed. Gabriel had already told him that twice.

Gabriel huffs and makes a deliberate mark on the wall. “Okay. I think I got it.”

“Now you just need to find shelves that fit,” Castiel says.

“I’ll find something,” Gabriel tells him confidently. Castiel rolls his eyes – he didn’t doubt that he would be brought along for those trips as well.

“The rest of the place is coming along,” Castiel comments. Gabriel had bought a small corner shop in Cowes that had been vacant for as long as Castiel had been living on Philip Island. He had cleaned out the whole place, installed everything behind the counter that would let him make coffee, and had bought a few tables and chairs for the small room where customers could sit down.

“I still need some shelves, and some arty things to hand around, and some tables for outside,” Gabriel sighs. “Starting from scratch is so annoying.”

“You’ll get everything together,” Castiel tells him. “Do you have any applications for baristas yet?”

“Three,” Gabriel sighs. “I only put the notice out yesterday, and I was going to read through them tonight. I think I need four or five people if I don’t want to hire someone full time.”

“I told you, offer at least one full time position,” Castiel says. “It will make things easier.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Gabriel says. “I’ll look into it. I want at least one day off,” Gabriel tells him. “I was thinking Friday.”

“And that has nothing to do with the fact that I have Fridays off and Dean doesn’t?” Castiel asks him, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I am _wounded_ by your accusations,” Gabriel gasps, completely over the top. “How could you insinuate such a thing?”

Gabriel and Dean had adopted an uneasy relationship. They both had the connection of Castiel, but Castiel thinks that without it they would have both been glad to go their separate ways. Dean doesn’t like how Gabriel seemingly doesn’t take anything seriously, how he seemed to mock Castiel and Dean and how he is focusing on his shop instead of finding an apartment to move out to. Gabriel doesn’t like how Dean takes up Castiel’s time, thought that his job isn’t exactly impressive, and how he doesn’t have any family to speak of. Castiel also thinks that it has something to do with Dean sleeping with him, but that is just a suspicion, while he is fairly certain of the others.

The fact of the matter was that Gabriel and Dean don’t like each other much, and put up with the other only because of Castiel. He had tried to bridge the gap between them several times, but progress is exceedingly slow. They had become reluctant friends, and Castiel thinks that that was as far as they would come for a while. Trust comes slowly for both of them, and both of them have good reasons for that. Dean has long standing issues with his brother (and father, Castiel thinks, but Dean had said nothing of that yet), and Gabriel had spent ten years seeing the terrible side of humanity with Michael and Lucifer.

“I just think that you and Dean could get along better,” Castiel says mildly.

Gabriel huffs. “If I take my day off on his day off, then I’m getting in his way. And even _if_ we do spend time together – and that’s a _big_ if – it would be weird. He doesn’t like me, Castiel.”

“He doesn’t like you because you try to push him away on purpose,” Castiel tells him. “You need to open up.”

“Like he’s so easy to read,” Gabriel says, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.

Castiel frowns and looks at him. “What?”

Gabriel grimaces. “He’s hard to read.”

Castiel tilts his head. “You can’t read him?”

Castiel had never come across anyone that Gabriel couldn’t read. Maybe Castiel had just found the real reason Gabriel was uneasy around Dean.

“Wow,” Castiel says, covering his mouth and widening his eyes so he looks shocked. “You mean you have to get to know him? Like a normal person? However will you cope?”

“Oh, shut up,” Gabriel grumbles. “I’m not used to it.”

“Why?” Castiel asks, dropping his hand. “What is it about him?”

“He acts in ways that are clearly opposite to what he’s thinking,” Gabriel scowls. “Anyone could tell what he means, but his body is doing something totally different? It weirds me out.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Well, you need to get over it. Dean is a good person.”

“You just say that because he’s boning you,” Gabriel mutters quietly. Castiel raises an eyebrow, which Gabriel conveniently doesn’t see.

“You bring up that all the time,” Castiel observes. “Dean thinks it’s because you need to ‘get laid,’ as he puts it.”

“I could have anyone I wanted,” Gabriel tells him. “No one can resist my charms. Now help me clean up in the back room, it’s filthy.”

It is. Castiel grabs a cloth to start wiping the dust of things while Gabriel sets determinedly to the back window.

It’s nearly been an hour of wiping, and Castiel has only cleaned off the surfaces of the tabletops and Gabriel had gotten the window mostly clean again and is working on trying to get it to open when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

**> > gabe got you slaving away at his shop? (12:19pm)**

Castiel smiles at his phone.

**< < Yes, I’m at the coffee shop. You? (12:22pm)**

**> > patrolling. found a fireplace w some trash around it. called jody she said she saw a similar one on the other side of the island last week. annoying (12:24pm)**

**< < You shouldn’t be texting and driving. (12:24pm)**

**> > made the executive decision that im on my lunch break (12: 25pm)**

“Your boy toy texting you?” Gabriel asks.

“Yeah,” Castiel says.

“You should be wiping,” Gabriel tells him, nodding at the cloth in front of him.

**< < Gabriel is telling me to get back to work. (12:27pm)**

**> > tell him he has to pay you if he wants to boss you aroudn (12:28pm)**

Castiel smiles at the typo.

**< < He would probably just tell me that since he’s my older brother he can boss me around. (12:28pm)**

**> > dont take that hell keep using it (12:29pm)**

“You want to take a break?” Gabriel asks.

Castiel rolls his eyes at his brother.  “Gabriel, I’m helping you out because I love you. Don’t push it.”

Gabriel mumbles something to himself as Castiel moves out to the main room, fingers pressing the buttons needed to call Dean.

~*~*~*~

_April_

Cas turns over in the bed next to him and Dean lets out a breath, reluctantly surrendering his grip on sleep. He cracks an eye open to look at the clock, which informs him of the too early time. The sun hasn’t risen yet, and Cas is still asleep, but close to waking if the turning is any indication.

Dean buries his head in the back of Cas’ neck and closes his eyes again. It’s the one day that they have off together, and he’d like to spend some time sleeping in with Cas next to him, peacefully resting.

He opens his eyes after a few minutes, unwillingly admitting that sleep had left him. He’s too used to getting up at the time every morning to be able to sleep in much past it. There’s a tinge of pink over the sea that Dean takes to mean that the sun is about to rise. He’ll get up, make some breakfast, annoy Gabriel a bit until he leaves for the café, and then spend as much time as he wants with Cas.

They had settled into a pattern, and it was good. Stable, which is not something Dean thought himself capable of, even a year ago. He couldn’t let go of things, and dismissed other important stuff, which led to most of the people he had had a relationship with tearing their hair out because of him. But with Cas, he could do it. Rather, he made the effort, and Cas made the effort, and somehow it all worked out between them. Dean is still trying to figure that part out, but he’s sure that he and Cas will find a way to keep up everything that they’ve found in each other. As long as they’re willing to try, Dean is sure that nothing can keep them apart. They’ve got this.

Dean rolls his shoulders in a slight stretch and then shuffles forward so he can touch his nose to the back of Cas’ neck. Cas moves slightly at the touch and takes a deeper breath in, so Dean knows that he’s awake, however grudgingly. He rubs his morning stubble over the bare skin of Cas’ back and smiles as Cas lets out a soft rumble.

“Why are you awake?” Cas complains drowsily, reaching back to run a hand down Dean’s thigh.

“This is when I normally wake up,” Dean says back softly.

“And that means that you can wake me up?” Cas asks, annoyance in his tone.

Cas is not a morning person.

“Ahh, it’s not that bad, is it angel?” Dean asks quietly moving to drape an arm over Cas. “You get to spend even more time with me.”

“I’d rather spend it sleeping,” Cas says grumpily, but he still shivers when Dean kisses his skin lightly.

“Sleeping?” Dean asks, amused. “Are you sure?”

Cas growls at him when he takes his mouth away so Dean slowly maps out his back, touching the top of Cas’ wings with his hands and following them with his lips.

Cas makes a soft sound and Dean treasures it. He lightly traces his mouth over the feathers, taking his time to touch every one he can get his mouth on.

“Cas…” Dean says softly, pausing as he realises something. “You never told me why you got this.” He smooths his hand over the feathers, as if it were unclear what he was talking about.

Dean watches as Cas tenses up. “It’s ridiculous,” Cas eventually mutters, and Dean lowers his eye brows in confusion. It’s not like Cas to brush off something, when Dean asks directly. Maybe he had been avoiding talking about his tattoo for a reason. “It doesn’t matter.” At that, Dean grits his teeth. He can tell that Cas has been rebuffed about this in the past, but by who, he isn’t sure.

“So? It’s something about you. It matters. You’re not ridiculous, Cas.” Dean reassures him softly. Cas curls up into himself and Dean scoots over, putting a hand on his lower back. “Nothing you can say will change that.”

Cas doesn’t speak for another few minutes, and Dean eventually moves, wrapping him up in his arms and tugging him backwards so that Cas is lying on his chest. Cas’ sheets are cool, and Dean looks out the window as Cas buries his head under his chin, out to sea. The sun is just starting to peek above the horizon, and Dean can just begin to see the shadows of the waves coming up to the beach, lapping at the sand peacefully.

“You don’t have to tell me,” Dean whispers. He would have thought that Cas had gone back to sleep from the time that’s passed, but Cas is taught, trembling slightly. He runs a hand down his back, and almost imagines that he can feel the feathers against his palm.

Cas lets out a long shuddering breath. “I always wanted them, ever since I was small. I remember looking at some of the tattoos of the men that Michael and Lucifer were with, and thinking that I wanted one. Gabriel told me that I could have some when I was older, but Anna told me that only silly people got tattoos, because you couldn’t know what you would like in a few years. Which was fair enough, I thought then, but I had always wanted…”

Cas trails off and Dean kisses the back of his neck softly.

Cas sighs. “I remember wanting to fly, above the clouds, above the city. Sometimes I almost felt that I had wings, like they were just there, and then gone.”

He rolls over so that he’s on his back, and Dean tries not to miss the ink under his fingers as it’s hidden.

“It upset me, when I was small. That they weren’t there.”

Cas is very carefully not looking at him, face blank. Dean feels a swell of happiness, that Cas trusts him with this.

“Sounds rough,” he comments lowly, trying to gauge Cas’ reaction.

Cas huffs out a laugh harshly. “Yeah. Anna told me that I was being ridiculous when I told her about it. She told me that we were just human, and that I shouldn’t go on as if I wasn’t.” Cas turns his face from Dean to look out his large window. “It’s why I like flying in planes so much. And birds. I love birds.” He sighs heavily, and Dean leans up to catch the emotion going through his eyes.

“It was the first thing that I did, as soon as Balthazar and I landed in England. We were away from Michael and Lucifer’s influence, _really_ away from it, for the first time, and well. We both went a bit wild with it. He went to the first bar that he could find, while I looked for the best tattoo shop in London and made a booking.” Cas shrugs. “Getting it felt like… freedom. I don’t know. Free from my brothers, free from what Anna thought, just… Free.”

“I dunno, that sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation for that tattoo, if you ask me,” Dean tells him, when it’s clear that Cas isn’t going to say anything else. “Just because Anna doesn’t get it doesn’t mean that you have to keep it to yourself.” Even if Dean doesn’t get it, really. But he can trust Cas, like Cas had trusted him with this. And if Cas says he feels that way, then who is Dean to argue with him?

Cas is very still for a few more seconds before he turns his head to look at Dean. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Dean shrugs. “It’s your body, you know. If you want to get wings, then why not?”

Cas turns back to look out the window, and Dean can see him smiling softly. He waits for another few seconds before he reaches over to clasp Cas’ hand.

They watch the sun rise together.

~*~*~*~

“You need to keep your balance, Cas,” Dean calls out over the waves. Cas had ended up in the water away from his board for probably the tenth time after he had tried to catch a wave, and failed to do so.

“I would probably have a better chance of doing so if I wasn’t shivering so hard!” Cas calls back.

“We can head back in if you want to,” Dean says, paddling over to where Cas had ended up. The waves are bobbing them both about in the water, so it takes him a second to catch a hold of Cas’ board. “The water is pretty cold. This is probably the last time I’d recommend coming out without a full wetsuit on.”

Dean has his wetsuit on, but Cas is just wearing his cozzies, as Dean’s hadn’t fitted him. If it had, he would have given it to Cas. Cas’ lips are slightly blue, and Dean can see his hands shivering from a metre away.

“No,” Cas tries to say. “I can try again.” He sounds completely determined, and Dean knows that if he doesn’t push, Cas will stay out here for longer than he should.

“No, we’re going in,” Dean tells him. “You’re too cold. I don’t need Gabriel going off at me because you caught pneumonia under my watch.”

“Would you two have no regards for my health?” Cas tries to joke.

“Well we’d both be in the hospital with you,” Dean says as he turns their boards for the shore. “We’d just be arguing over your hospital bed.”

Cas laughs at him as they come up to the sandy shore. “That doesn’t excuse you,” he says as they get out. There are a few families on the beach, some kids digging holes in the sand and others playing catch me if you can with the waves. The nearby adults watch them with fond amusement, talking and eating on the higher parts of the beach.

“You are cold,” Dean says, more sombre now that he can see Cas shaking out of the water. “Come on.”

They walk up the hill towards the car park and the Jeep. Cas tries to protest when Dean strips his rash vest off him, but welcomes the towel that Dean gives him gratefully.

Dean towels the boards off and slides them onto the roof of the Jeep before undoing the top of his wetsuit so he can start to dry off. Cas is leaning against the side of the Jeep and watching him, and he gets into the Jeep when Dean opens the door for him.

They arrive at Dean’s place just under an hour later. Cas looks like he’s warmed up since then, but Dean still tells him to go and have a shower.

Cas refuses, and helps him bring the boards and their gear inside instead. Dean silently curses his stubbornness as he demands to learn how to clean the boards properly.

An hour and a half after they get back, Dean pulls Cas into the bathroom with him. He pushes Cas’ board shorts off and strips out his swimmers as well. Cas has already started the shower by the time Dean’s naked, but it isn’t hot enough to jump into yet, so Dean leans up against him, pressing his forehead to the back of his neck and wrapping his arms around him loosely.

“I see now why you didn’t want to shower,” Dean mumbles against his skin. “You don’t have to try that hard to get laid, Cas. Just gotta ask.”

Cas snorts and steps in, pulling Dean with him. “I didn’t want to leave you to clean up,” he says. Dean pushes his head under the water for a few seconds before grabbing the shampoo at the bottom of the stall. He rubs it into his own hair and then Cas’, who smiles and then throws a soap ball at him.

Dean jumps slightly and then reaches towards him to pull them together. “Rude,” Dean says lowly, rubbing them together.

Cas groans slightly at the contact. “Dean, remember we said no shower sex after what happened last time.”

“We should try again, just to make sure it wasn’t a onetime thing,” Dean murmurs as he nibbles at Cas’ neck.

“Well, my head would rather not repeat the experience it went through,” Cas reprimands him, although Dean can tell that while his head might be disagreeing, certain other parts of Cas’ anatomy are definitely not.

“Just gotta warm you up a bit, angel,” Dean laughs as their lips find each other.

“You do plenty of that,” Cas tells him, gasping when Dean reaches down to wrap a hand around his cock.

The soap makes things nice and slippery, and Cas lazily reaches down to return the favour as Dean jerks him off. Cas’ nimble fingers drive him crazy every time they get around him, Cas keeping a light touch because he knows it drives him to distraction.

The shampoo gets everywhere and Cas nearly slips on the tiles by the time they both come. Dean gets all of  them both rinsed off, Cas just hanging onto him limply, eyes closed and looking blissed out.

“Geez, Novak, I know I’m good but you’re gonna trip us over.”

Cas makes a sound of protest but stands up under his own steam. Dean dries off and heads into the kitchen, digging around in his cupboards to find something edible. Cas comes out and flops down on his couch, not even bothering to flick the TV on.

“Do you want anything particular for lunch?” Dean asks.

He gets a muffled ‘humph,’ in return. He decides that Cas doesn’t mind, and digs out some meat from the fridge so he can fry it into patties - for him, not Cas. Cas just has eggs with a pile of salad; Dean isn't sure if that really counts as a burger, but it's not like he can give Cas any meat.

When Dean comes into the lounge room with two plates with homemade burgers on them, Cas is snoring on the couch. Dean smiles at him and puts the plates down.

“Cas,” he says quietly, leaning down and kissing his forehead. “I made lunch.”

Cas lets out a sigh and opens his eyes. “I suppose I was more tired than I thought,” he mutters, making Dean laugh.

“Well, surfing and swimming does take it out of you. Food after swimming is always a good idea.”

He’s right. Cas devours his burger, mumbling compliments around it.

Dean huffs out a laugh. It’s a good day.

~*~*~*~

Castiel goes to meet with all of his non gang affiliated siblings the weekend that Samandriel flies in. Gabriel drives them into Melbourne in his cherry red Chevy, and they drive by Anna’s place on the way.

Castiel had already seen his twin when they had picked her up from the airport, but that had been a week and a half ago, and he’s happy to see her again.

“Have you sorted out a phone yet?” Castiel asks her.

“Yeah,” Anna says. Castiel grabs it off her and puts his number in, calling the contact ‘Number 1 Brother.’ Anna laughs when she sees it, and makes no move to change the contact name as she puts her phone away.

Anna tells him about her efforts to find a place to work that isn’t on the street catering to tourists while Gabriel drives. Castiel smiles at her storytelling skills, and even Gabriel huffs at certain points in her narrative.

Balthazar had picked the place, and Castiel isn’t really surprised to find that it’s an upscale restaurant. He lifts an eyebrow when he sees that it specialises in Spanish food, but he isn’t complaining, just curious. Balthazar had hated most of the food they had eaten when they were in Spain.

His siblings don’t seem to think anything is out of the ordinary, but Castiel follows them in more carefully.

The waiter leads them upstairs when they mention Balthazar’s name. Castiel’s lurking fear is banished when he sees his two brothers sitting next to each other, Balthazar with a glass already in his hand. Castiel tries not to shake his head at it. Although Balthazar might have disliked the food, he had been particularly impartial to the alcohol in Spain.

Castiel sits down opposite from Balthazar, between Anna and Gabriel, as Balthazar and Samandriel greet them.

The ease that they usually find together descends on them as they all slip into their family roles. Balthazar and Gabriel tease each other, and then turn their attention on their siblings. Castiel and Anna talk quietly with each other, Castiel asking about Anna’s last relationship, to which she says they had ended it when Anna had moved to Australia.

“Long distance never works,” she sighs.

Castiel feels a pang of guilt. “You shouldn’t have come,” he tells her, brushing their legs together under the table, trying to comfort her.

Anna shrugs. “Well, I was missing you anyways. I’m just surprised that we actually did make it here.”

They stay silent for a few seconds as both think about their oldest brothers. “They probably want to know where we all are,” Castiel says slowly. “Just so they can plan their moves.”

“Or it’s to corral us,” Anna shivers.  Castiel tries not frown, and he reaches out to take Anna’s hand.

“Hey. You can’t start thinking about that.”

“You’re right,” Anna sighs. “Paranoia will get us nowhere.”

“Some is useful,” Castiel says, thinking about Dean. He’d gotten a new lock for his house, and he locked it after leaving every time he left home now. It made Castiel feel safer at the same time he felt a pang in his chest for making his partner have to make the adjustments in the first place. Dean had told him that he shouldn’t worry about it, but he did. He worried a lot about it.

Was he putting Dean in danger by being with him? Would he forever be putting the person he wanted to be with in danger because his brothers are insane? Castiel looks around the group of people and sees what they’re not saying. How Gabriel’s jokes cover the worry in his eyes. How Samandriel’s compulsive orderliness was because of how he’d been raised, how he had made sure all the money was there in the covert accounts when people said it was, the neatness necessary because of the punishment for any mistakes. How the glass of wine that never seems to be empty in Balthazar’s hand showed clearly how he’d chosen to deal with things.

Anna squeezes his hand and Castiel looks at her gratefully. His twin stabilises him when he gets too introspective. Anna had always been the more outgoing of the two of them.

Castiel forcibly takes his thoughts away from his oldest brothers, only to have Samandriel bring the topic of them up.

“We know why we’re all here,” he says quietly. All five of them quiet. Gabriel runs a hand through his hair nervously and Balthazar taps his fingers on the table, the _tap tap tap_ echoing in the spaces between them.

“Castiel, you had the last contact with Michael,” Samandriel starts, but Anna interrupts.

“Actually, I talked to Lucifer before I found Castiel at the airport.”

There’s a focused silence on Anna. Castiel feels his heart pick up and he takes a breath to steady himself. Anna must have not told him on purpose, and she glances at him with a quick smile, reassuring him.

“He was in the lounge as I left the plane,” she told them. “He cornered me as I was going past, which did scare me quite a bit. He didn’t say much, just told me that even in Australia we weren’t going to escape them. I told him that he needed to leave, and that he needed to accept that we aren’t going back, and that I was going to tell the police that he was there. Lucifer said that he and Michael were considering freezing our accounts, and I told him that he should, so we don’t have the temptation to use their funds.”

Balthazar looks at Castiel at the same time Castiel looks at him. The only time Castiel had dipped into the funds that Balthazar and Michael keep putting into his account – no matter how many different ones he opened – had been when he had paid his tuition for his degree, and when Balthazar and Castiel had travelled across the world searching for a place to escape. As far as he knows, Gabriel hadn’t touched a cent, Samandriel only used it as deposits against loans and Anna had used a small amount to open her own business when she had been in America. The reason Anna had taken so long to get down here was because there had been trouble selling her business, but it had gone through, and she’d been on a plane here the next week.

“Well, I won’t mind the mental gymnastics of trying to calculate how much money I _actually_ have in my account,” Gabriel mumbles.

The waiter comes around and Castiel lets Anna order for him, swirling the water in his glass around absently. The tense atmosphere had cleared slightly by the time the waiter leaves, but it’s still present.

“Did he say much else?” Balthazar asks.

Anna shrugs. “Not much. Just the usual stuff, after that. Asked me to come back with him. I told him where to stick it and walked out to meet you.” Anna nudges him with her shoulder slightly.

“That could have been dangerous,” Castiel tells her, frowning slightly.

Anna shrugs. “He was past the security in the airport, so I supposed that he couldn’t have anything on him. So I took the chance.”

There was a low mutter of approval around the table.

“So what are we going to do?” Samandriel asks. Castiel can hear the slight tone of nervousness running under his voice as he plays with his cutlery.

“We do what we always do,” Gabriel says. Castiel looks up at his brother, seeing the assuredness in the set of his jaw. “We don’t take up with them, we don’t speak to them, we tell the police everything. You know that we’re on their watch lists – I barely got admitted to the country.”

Castiel watches as the others nod. Gabriel falls into the role of protector and leader when it comes to their brothers, and it’s a place that the rest of them are happy to cede to him. Castiel wonders if the others can see the strain that it leaves on Gabriel.

“They’re going to come for us, soon,” Balthazar mutters. Castiel shifts uneasily as no one counters Balthazar’s statement.

“Don’t say that,” Anna scolds, but there’s none of her normal fire in her voice, and she sounds afraid.

Castiel squeezes her hand, as if she’s afraid that she’s going to disappear while sitting right next to him.

The silence around the table lies for longer than Castiel wishes. He runs a hand through his hair as they all think about the future.

~*~*~*~

Castiel gathers the will to speak the words that have been on his mind since he thought them when he and Gabriel are alone in the car, heading back to the island after lunch.

“Am I putting Dean in danger?” He blurts.

Gabriel looks at him sharply before turning back to the road.

“By being with him,” Castiel adds.

“You already told me that Lucifer put him in hospital, Cassie,” Gabriel says, and it’s far softer than anything that normally comes out of his mouth. “I think you already know the answer.”

Castiel stares out the window as the suburbs of Melbourne fade away as the ocean comes into sight. They’re over the bridge and nearly home when he speaks again.

“I don’t want anything to hurt him, Gabriel.”

Gabriel sighs. “Castiel, he’s a big boy. He can make his own decisions, take his own risks.”

Castiel thinks over that as they pull up to his house.

“You shouldn’t brood over it,” Gabriel tells him. “It won’t change anything. Dean knows what he’s getting into.”

Gabriel gets out and Castiel follows him after a few seconds.

Dean is working today, but Castiel still feels a buzz in his pocket as Gabriel unlocks the front door.

**> > how was lunch?? (3:40pm)**

Castiel feels his stomach turn as he reads the message. Who is he, to drag Dean into his problems? It isn’t as if he has small issues – having your two drug lord brothers after you is not a small issue.

**> > gabe didnt spoil the whole thing by being theer? (3:41pm)**

**< < No, he didn’t. Lunch was good. I need to talk to you when you get home. (3:49pm)**

**> > sounds serious. Meet at my place at 8?? (3:51pm)**

**< < Okay. (3:51pm)**

Castiel puts his phone back in his pocket and ignores it when it keeps buzzing. He knows that Dean thinks he wants to talk about Michael and Lucifer, which he does, but not in the way Dean thinks.

Gabriel casts a worried look at him but doesn’t say anything.

Castiel heads upstairs to avoid him, and to think about what he’s going to say to Dean.

~*~*~*~

Dean is trying not to worry when he opens his door. Cas hadn’t answered anymore of his texts after he had agreed to come over. But he isn’t worried. He repeats that a few times as he dumps his bag and jacket on the couch on his way to the kitchen.

He’s got a pot of mixed vegetables on the stove, with a separate frying pan of steak for him to throw in his dinner, when he hears the door open and close quietly.

“Hey,” Dean calls out, grabbing the noodles and tipping them into the pot. He covers the pot and puts the timer on the stove on before turning to the entrance of the kitchen where Cas is standing.

Cas has his jacket thrown over his shoulder and is still wearing his shoes. He’s dressed casually but smartly, but there’s a haunted look in his eyes that makes Dean pause.

“You alright?” Dean asks, stepping over to him and curling an arm around him. Cas sighs and leans his head against Dean’s shoulder.

“Just… tired.”

“I’ve only got one brother and I know he can tire me out,” Dean says jokingly. “And Gabriel is enough of a handful without throwing anyone else in there as well.” Cas doesn’t say anything and Dean’s worry ticked over into slight anxiety. “You wanna tell me about it?” He asks, more quietly.

Cas huffs into his shoulder.

 “They’re not that terrible,” Cas mutters. Dean kisses his forehead lightly.

“Well, you’d be the one to know. I made stew,” Dean tells him. “Just need to wait for the noodles and we can eat.”

“We had a lot at the place we went to for lunch,” Cas says. “I’m still pretty full.”

“More leftovers then,” Dean says. “No big deal.”

A quick smile graces Cas’ mouth before it fades.

Dean ladles out a bowl for each of them when the noodles are done, giving Cas the smaller bowl. He's still quiet, and as Dean sits down at his small table he presses up against his side for a moment. Dean frowns at him slightly, but Cas moves to the other side of the table to poke at his bowl.

“Where did you go today?” Dean asks him. “You said Balthazar picked the place?”

“A Spanish place in Melbourne,” Cas tells him. “It was nice.”

“That's good,” Dean replies. “You all caught up on everything going on in everyone's lives?”

What he really wants to ask about is whether or not one of his insane brothers showed up, or if they talked about them, but he's not quite sure how to bring that up without seeming paranoid.

“Yes. Anna wants to start her business again here. She got enough from selling it in the states and the exchange rate is good enough that's she's got enough to buy.”

Dean nods. “You should bring her here sometime. I'd like to meet your twin.”

Cas runs a hand through his hair. “She already asked if she could come down.”

“Awesome,” Dean says. “Make sure I'm free when you pick a date.”

Cas swallows. “Of course.”

There's a small pause as Dean keeps eating and Cas keeps picking at his food.

“We talked about Michael and Lucifer,” Cas says, looking at his food.

“Yeah?” Dean asks, trying not to look too interested. “What about them?”

“Stuff,” Cas shrugs. “Anna told us how Lucifer came and talked to her when she landed here.”

“How did they even get into the country?” Dean asks, fingers clenching on his fork. “It's not like they're not internationally wanted or anything.”

“They have their ways,” Cas tells him quietly. “Now that it's known that they're both in the country hopefully it'll be harder for them to move around. I don't think they've got as many contacts here as they do in the US.” Cas pauses, and Dean waits, since he has his eyebrows drawn together like he does when he's not done talking and is just thinking things over.

“We talked about you, as well,” he continues.

“From the look on your face, it wasn't about how good my ass looks in my jeans,” Dean mutters.

“No,” Cas sighs. “Dean, I've put you in danger, by being with you.”

Dean shrugs, trying to stave off the uneasy feeling in his gut. “Well, it's not your fault, really. You should blame your brothers for that.”

“I do,” Cas tells him, and Dean can hear the hardness that creeps into his voice when he says that. “I do blame them. But I also blame myself. For thinking that they wouldn't come here, that I'd be rid of them by moving countries.”

“I don’t know, seems like a sound plan to me,” Dean shrugs, trying to ignore the ice creeping up his throat.

Cas looks to the side and then slowly stands. He tucks his hands nervously behind him and then looks Dean in the eyes as he delivers his blow.

“We can’t be together, Dean.”

Dean stands up slowly, shaking his head. “What are you talking about? Cas, I don’t care about your brothers. It’s fine.”

“ _I_ care about what my brothers could do to you if they wanted to hurt me,” Cas hisses at him. “I can’t risk you, Dean!”

“Cas, I can make my own choices,” Dean tries to say, stepping forward. Cas steps back and grabs his coat as he goes past it. Dean realises in a sudden burst of desperation mixed with fear that he’s going for the door.

“I can make choices as well,” Cas tells him. “And I’ve been choosing to put you in danger. Dean, I can’t do that anymore.”

Dean takes a few hurried steps towards him, but Cas retreats just as quickly, like he knows that if Dean touches him his resolve will falter.

“I don’t care,” Dean says, voice cracking on the last word. “Cas, you can’t just _leave_ –”

“I can,” Cas tells him. “I am. Dean, I love you, but I have to do this.”

The words root him to the spot for a few precious seconds. _I love you._ It’s the first time that either of them had said it. Cas is saying it as he backs away, tears in his eyes, and that’s not acceptable.

Dean surges forward and kisses him frantically, trying to trap him here, like that was just a bad dream that he’s going to wake up from soon. Cas kisses back, but he pulls away after a few seconds, looking at the ground.

“I’m sorry,” he says softly. “I’m sorry.”

He opens the door and Dean catches his elbow.

“Cas, don’t do this,” Dean pleads, voice low. “This isn’t necessary.”

“It is,” Cas tells him sadly. “It is.”

He pulls out of Dean’s grip slowly, and then makes his way down the garden path, towards his car. Dean watches him numbly, not understanding what had just happened.

_Why, Cas? Why this? Why now?_

~*~*~*~

Somehow, by the next day, everyone seems to know about him and Cas. Or maybe he's just imagining the sympathetic glances in his direction.

Dean doesn’t look at anyone for too long, just sighs quietly when Charlie comes up and hugs him tightly. He hooks his chin over her shoulder and closes his eyes.

Charlie doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, and Dean’s grateful for that.

“Jess told me,” she mutters quietly. “She said that Cas came in all broken up this morning, but he wouldn’t tell me what happened.”

She doesn’t ask, but Dean knows that he can tell her. “Not here,” he says, and Charlie nods.

“Yeah, okay. You’re just on clean up today and check out tonight. Nothing that means that you have to think.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Dean grouses. Charlie shrugs, brushing it off.

“What are friends for?” She leans back and punches his arm lightly.

Dean raises an eyebrow at her, and then pushes her off to what she’s doing today, so he can get started. He’s probably already a few minutes late, but Benny is sitting in the office at the front of the building that overlooks the entire floor, and he hadn’t said anything. Dean collects his gear and thinks about how good his friends are.

In a way, he’d almost want something that made him think and interact with people. In the silence of the stands as he clears all the rubbish that thoughtless people had left the night before, there’s nothing but the loudness of his thoughts in his ears, Cas’s voice echoing back to him from last night.

_We can’t be together, Dean._

He grits his teeth and takes a deep breath. He clears the first stand and then sits down on the bleachers closest to the sea. He pushes his hands through his hair and then rubs his forehead.

There’s no sound apart from the _swish, swish_ of the sea and the calls of the gulls overhead. The familiar sounds slowly calm him down, and he finds himself breathing to the push and pull of the ocean.

“Damnit Cas,” he mutters to himself.

He looks upwards and follows a gull as it hovers in the air, using the breeze to stay upright. It slides through the wind towards the sea, and Dean watches as it dives into the waves.

There’s a pause as the gull stays under the water. Dean finds himself holding his breath, only breathing in again when the gull reappears, flapping laboriously to regain its former altitude.

Dean finishes cleaning up and heads back up the hill to the resort, dumping the rubbish into the bin and heading inside. There’s a pause in everyone’s day as they wait for the tourists to start to arrive. There aren’t many at this time of year, but there’s still enough to keep the resort running.

Dean stands outside the door and smiles and greets people as they come inside, watching as Tessa opens a register. If it looks like she needs any help, he’ll go inside, but until then he’ll smile and make people feel welcome.

The people trickle down onto the boardwalks as the sun sets. Dean goes inside, still trying not to think. Being on a register is good for this – he can just scan things, smile, ask if people liked the penguins, give them their bag, repeat. There aren’t many pauses, and Dean tells himself that if he can just make it through this customer, through the next ten minutes, to until he can drive home.

He doesn’t wait around when his shift is over, shrugging on his jacket and heading out the door. He sees Charlie send him a concerned look, but he pretends not to see it.

He gets home and pours himself a glass of whiskey, downing it in one shot. He pours another as he walks around the house, ditching his jacket and shoes and turning on the air con to warm the house up a bit.

He scrapes out the leftover food from last night, not being able to face the taste of it. He heats up the left over pizza and chops up some carrots and a few peas and corn to go with it. He eats robotically, not tasting the food at all, and doesn’t clean up when he dumps his plate in the sink.

He hears his phone buzz from inside his jacket pocket as he's pouring himself another shot. He stands up, nearly knocking his chair over in his rush to get to his jacket.

It's not Cas. Charlie's name states up at him from the screen and he nearly doesn't look at the text.

**> > talk to me. Krissy said you stalked out as soon as your shift was over (8:07pm)**

He stares at the message before slowly typing out a reply.

**< < what did jess tell you?? (8:10pm)**

**> > p vague. Only that you and cas broke up (8:11pm)**

**< < well shes not wrong (8:13pm)**

**> > you can tell me anything Dean. How long have we known each other now???? (8:13pm)**

Maybe it's only because he's half-drunk that he keeps typing.

**< < it was bc of his family. He said that he doesnt want to put me in danger bc of that (8:16pm)**

There's a pause before Charlie replies.

**> > well that's reasonable. But didn't you say that you can make your own decisions???? (8:20pm)**

**< < yeah (8:20pm)**

Dean stares at the phone and doesn't say anything else. He puts his phone face down and turns it on silent so he doesn't have to listen to it keep buzzing as Charlie keeps texting him.

He goes into the kitchen and pours another drink.

 


	4. Chapter 4

_May_

Castiel keeps finding Dean’s things around the house.

At first it the obvious ones – his toothbrush, and the shirts in Castiel’s washing. Then it becomes more subtle. The knife he borrowed from Dean is still sitting in his kitchen drawer. Castiel startles when he realises that one of the shirts that he absently pulls on is one that Dean had left here. And he nearly breaks down in the middle of the shopping aisle when he grabs Dean’s favourite shampoo out of habit.

He asks Gabriel to take everything to the small house two roads away. He can’t bear to face Dean again, not after what he said. Even if it’s to protect Dean in the end, his heart still aches and his stomach turns over uneasily when he thinks about that night. It doesn’t help the low ache of loss that he tries to ignore, but which follows him around as he goes about his daily activities.

Gabriel opens his coffee shop. He hires two full time and two part time employees – Castiel meets Kali and Baldur on the opening day, when he sits around and smiles and watches as Gabriel starts serving customers with his usual happy-go-lucky attitude.

It makes him happy, to know that Gabriel is happy. His brother now has something to do, and it keeps him out of the house during the day. It also has the added bonus of Castiel not having to listen to him complain about how the café isn’t open each night. Instead Gabriel comes back with stories and jokes, which always manage to make him smile, somehow. Castiel wonders if that’s why Gabriel tells them to him.

He learns to live by himself again. He visits Anna, he goes to work, he Skypes with Balthazar and Samandriel. None of them mention Michael or Lucifer.

It’s hard. He had thought that it would be, but Dean had leant a vitality to his life that he hadn’t realised had been missing. Where Castiel was clinical, Dean _felt_. Where he was impassionate, Dean yelled from the rooftops. Without him around, everything turned down from vibrant to a kind of adequate normality.

Just normal. Nothing special. Go to work, check on the penguins, talk to Jo, head home, watch TV, share dinner with Gabriel, go to bed, sleep. Get up, get dressed, go to work, check on the penguins, talk to Jo…

He falls into a routine of living, which everyone has to do, sooner or later. He finds a way to live around Gabriel, somehow. He doesn’t mind that his brother’s search for his own place seems to have come to an indefinite halt.

Every time he thinks of Dean, his mouth goes bitter and his heart aches. Lost opportunities are rampant there, and he doesn’t want to think about them. He cares about Dean too much to bring him into his life. Into his problems, where he could get hurt, or worse. Where that vibrant spark of life and energy could be snuffed out for good.

He lives and he grieves quietly by himself, but he moves on. He’d left people behind before, and he’s determined to let this one go as well. For Dean’s sake. He can let him go, to keep him safe.

He had to. He can’t screw this one good thing up, not with his history of breaking the things that he touched.

Dean is better off without him.

~*~*~*~

**< < come home Cas. pleease (11:59pm)**

**> > I can’t, Dean. I’m sorry. (7:47am)**

**< < no youre not (8:01am)**

**> > I am. I wouldn’t do this to you if I didn’t think that it’s for the best. (9:56am)**

**< < how is leaving me for the best?? Thats bullshit. youre just 2 scared to face w/e it is you think is going to happen with me there. i can help (10:03am)**

**< < Cas (12:42pm)**

**< < Cas please talk to me (9:13pm)**

~*~*~*~

_June_

Sam knocks on his door three weeks after Cas left.

Dean opens it, not expecting anyone in particular, only to find his brother there, looking haggard and with a small battered suitcase behind him.

“Sam?” Dean says, dumbfounded. “What…”

“Hi Dean,” Sam says tiredly. “Can I come in?”

Dean slowly steps back and then closes the door after Sam. He’s suddenly self-conscious about the mess everywhere, plates that he’d been meaning to clean up, junk all over the floor and kitchen table. Sam doesn’t comment on it, just puts his suitcase next to the couch and sits down tiredly.

“What happened?” Dean asks, voice flat, after it’s clear that Sam is just going to sit there looking at his hands.

Sam looks up at him. He looks terrible, shadows under his bloodshot eyes.

“Ruby left me, again,” Sam says listlessly. “You were right, Dean. About her.”

“She didn’t take anything this time?” Dean asks him urgently, because he needs to know if some random drug dealer is going to show up on his door. He has to know if he’s going to protect Sam.

“No, no, nothing like last time,” Sam sighs. “Just my laptop and the money in the apartment.”

Dean sits down next to him slowly.

“Are you alright?” He asks hesitantly. It’s a stupid question. Of course Sam isn’t alright. He’d been living on and off with Ruby for the last year and a half, at least, and something like that didn’t just brush off easily.

Sam stills his hands between his thighs.

“Yeah. Maybe. I don’t know. I think I might be. Later.”

Dean looks at him. Sam is looking at the floor, head bowed, shaggy hair framing his face. It couldn’t have been easy, coming back. Dean knows that Sam is proud, prouder than him. It took a lot of guts to go back to your brother, who had been telling you that your girlfriend was bad news, and tell him that he was right and that you needed a place to stay.

Dean sucks a breath in slowly and releases it in a sigh. “Tell me what happened,” he says, trying to make his voice understanding and not critical.

Sam keeps looking at his hands. “We didn’t head back to the US. I told Ruby that I wanted to stay here, and she agreed, although it wasn’t straight away. We rented an apartment together – this terrible little place. I didn’t know where her money was coming from. I only had a little bit saved up, so I had to rely on her while I looked for a job. Got one at K-Mart, cashiering. So I was bringing in a little more, and then Ruby shows me the drugs that she had. Tells me that we just need a bit more, and then we can start raking in some real money. I asked where she got them from, she just brushed me off, saying something about, I don’t even know, ‘Angel Brothers?’ Sounds ridiculous. Maybe I’m just remembering wrong. Anyway, that should have been my first clue. Should have gotten out sooner, but I was,” he shrugs, “in love. Or at least I thought I was. Started using again, just a bit here and there. But it wasn’t long until that turned into more.”

It’s a slippery slope. Dean’s read about it, when Sam was here after coming back. Staying clean was too difficult, just one will help, just one… And then more, and more. Sam looks terrible, certainly. But he doesn’t look high. Dean’s grateful for that.

“Things kind of went to shit after that. I tried quitting, but Ruby was always there with more. Then I woke up one morning, and everything was gone. Ruby, everything valuable. That’s when I realised that maybe you had been right, and I had just been blinded by my own feelings.”

Dean blinks at too much honesty being laid out all of a sudden. He knows that admitting that Dean had been right would have been hard for Sam, so he puts a hand on his shoulder and picks his words carefully.

“Sam. You always have a place here, but I need to know. If she comes around again, are you going to leave?”

“No,” Sam says. “I’m done with Ruby and the drugs. She’s tied up with them inextricably, and I don’t think she wants to quit using either. She’s not coming back here, not soon. She was talking about heading back to the US for a while. That’s probably why she left. She knew I still didn’t want to go with her, so she just took everything that she could sell and left.”

They sit in silence for a while. Sam eventually looks up at him, face open. Dean can see that he’s hurting, physically and mentally.

“Like I said, you’ve always got a place here,” Dean repeats softly. “You can stay as long as you want.”

Sam shudders and turns to hug him tightly. “That’s a lot more than I deserve, Dean,” he mutters. “Thank you.”

“What are brothers for?”

Dean breathes in Sam’s familiar smell and feels himself relax for the first time in weeks. He has part of his family back.

Things brighten a little bit.

~*~*~*~

**< < i found your extra boots in my closet (10:25am)**

**> > I’ve been looking for them. (10:50am)**

**< < i can bring them over if you want (10:53am)**

**> > No, Dean. Leave them on your porch and I’ll come and pick them up. (10:54am)**

**< < friday??? (10:54am)**

**> > Yes, okay. (10:55am)**

**< < u know u dont have to avoid me. u can talk to me if you want to (10:57am)**

**< < Cas u cant just stop texting me dont do this (4:02pm)**

**< < Cas (11:47pm)**

~*~*~*~

It’s not easy, of course.

They’re still brothers, and they get along as well as brothers do. They fight, but they both know that it’s nothing to their relationship, really. They can both argue and know that they are safe, that they can say what they want and come back a few hours later, mutter an apology, and have everything right between them again. It’s how they’ve always lived, and Sam doesn’t think that that’s ever going to change.

They relearn how to live around each other again; Sam spends more time in his room and Dean spends more time at work. The time they have together is eating and doing tasks next to each other in the morning and evening, whichever Dean spends at home. Sam tries to call up Ellen to humbly ask if she would let him bartend for her, to which she’d replied that she loved him, but she needed to know that she could count on him before he came back. That stung, but he understood.

Without a job, Sam is left at home with a lot of time to think. He cleans the house, scrubbing and vacuuming while wondering how Dean had made such a mess. The only place he doesn’t go is Dean’s room. The door to his room is almost always closed, and Sam respects the clear message. He doesn’t begrudge his brother his space.

While he’s cleaning, his mind is free to wander. It goes over the last three years, how things just went from bad to worse. He quietly acknowledges to himself that going with Ruby wasn’t a good idea. He runs through his memories, thinks about their outcomes and consequences, and tries to ignore the shaking in his hands that he knows comes from not using. He’d already tried to go straight before Ruby left for the second time, so he knows that it’s not as bad as it could have been. But the cravings still keep him up at night, so he turns to coffee, substituting one drug for another one that hopefully isn’t as bad.

Dean tries to ask about it, sometimes, but Sam always reassures him that he’s fine. He can see that Dean doesn’t believe him, but that’s okay. Sam isn’t sure that he believes himself, but he’s going to prove it to both of them. It’s fine. It’s _going_ to be fine.

After one of their not-arguments, Sam leaves to go walking. He puts his hands in his pockets and lowers his head so the freezing cold winter wind doesn’t cut through him as easily as it could, and heads to Cowes. It’s a decent walk, but the bracing weather and the simple pleasure of light exercise clears his head.

Cowes is mostly the same as it’s been since he was a kid, but there’s a new, brightly coloured sign where an old clothing shop used to be, sitting on the corner of the block with a view of the sea.

Sam frowns at the shop. _Loki’s Luck_ is scrawled above the door, and from what he can see inside it looks like a small café.

He pushes open the door, and looks around the interior. There’s a few chairs clustered around small tables, and the shelves on the walls have coffee in bags on them, both pre-ground and post-ground. There are three girls sitting around one table chatting away, and an older man with a newspaper sitting at another. There’s a short man and a dark skinned woman behind the counter, who are bickering good-naturedly, banter flowing between them. Sam feels a pang in his chest as he watches them – he and Dean used to be like that.

The woman looks up and sees him, then elbows the man towards the counter. He smiles at Sam as Sam glances over the menu, resisting the urge to lift an eyebrow at some of the more… exotic options.

“What’ll it be, kiddo?” He asks. Sam snorts quietly, because this guy is like, half his height.

“Just a cap, please,” Sam asks. The nametag on his shirt reads ‘GABRIEL XD.’ He’s going to guess that the ‘XD’ is an addition to his nametag, not his name.

“Coming right up,” Gabriel drawls. He bumps the woman with his hip, and she rolls her eyes before she starts messing around with the coffee machine. “You know, your issues with your brother wouldn’t be so bad if you just talked with him.”

“What?” Sam asks, taken aback. He has no idea who this guy is and then he just says something like that?

“Your brother. And you. Have _issues_ ,” Gabriel says, drawing ‘issues’ out to three syllables. “Serious ones. You should talk about them rather than brooding in hipster coffee shops and avoiding him.”

“You don’t… I’m not…” Sam replies, flustered.

Gabriel rolls his eyes.

“Okay, I can’t believe you pulled that one out of nowhere,” the woman says as she’s heating the milk.

“Oh Kali, you underestimate me once again,” Gabriel says dramatically. “But you’re right. I only know Sammy here because Dean has about five hundred photos of him lying around his place. Although I didn’t know that you’d made it back from the US of A.”

“How do you know Dean?” Sam asks suspiciously.

“What, someone can’t make new friends in the six months his brother’s gone?” Gabriel huffs out a breath. Sam tries not to tense, but Gabriel sees it anyway. “Ooh, hit a nerve there. Dean never told me why you two broke up, but I’m going to guess it’s got something to do with the drugs you’re in withdrawal from? I can see your hands shaking from here. I’m glad Cassie got out of that one.”

Something in Gabriel’s fast paced chatter finally makes sense, and Sam latches onto it.

“Cassie? Castiel? Who Dean dated for a while?”

“I never liked him much in the first place,” Gabriel admitted, flicking imaginary dust off his finger nails. “But he didn’t really deserve what Cassie did to him. He over it yet?”

“He just said that he and Cas broke up,” Sam says lowly. “Not much else about him.”

“Huh,” Gabriel mutters. “I would have thought that Castiel would have left more of an impact than that.” He shrugs, and Kali puts his cappuccino down on the bench a metre to his left.

“Order up,” she says.

“You look after Dean, yeah?” Gabriel tells him, face suddenly serious. “You might be hurting, but he needs support as well.”

Sam leaves the café feeling Gabriel’s eyes burning into the back of his shoulders.

He almost wonders if it was worth the excursion, until he takes a sip of the coffee.

It’s really fucking good.

~*~*~*~

**< < i miss you (3:47am)**

**< < sams back. Ditched that ruby bitch (3:59am)**

**< < he told me he went to gabriels cafe. im glad he opned it (4:14am)**

**< < y do i keep texting you when there’s no response?? (4:17am)**

**< < they say insane people do the same thing again and again and expect different results (4:36am)**

**< < what does that make me?? (5:00am)**

**< < i might be a little drunk (5:10am)**

~*~*~*~

That’s not the last time he finds himself at the café.

At first it’s just _Oh, the coffee’s pretty damn good,_ or _They have excellent raspberry and white chocolate muffins._ But in the end, Sam has to confront the fact that he goes just to talk to Gabriel most of the time.

It’s got nothing to do with wanting to talk to the guy in particular – Sam could talk to other people around who he would probably like more than Gabriel. But the guy had no past experiences with him, so he doesn’t have to put up with mildly hidden discomfort or disappointment that he experiences when he’s with people who knew him before he left for the US. But the real kicker is that he can read Sam. And he had no problem telling Sam that he knows his personal details; one time he had walked into the café, only to have Gabriel tell him that thinking about going back on drugs was not a great idea, and that he’d been off them for at least two months now, which was since the first time Sam had come into the café, and that he was doing good, he was doing great.

It’s unsettling, and Sam snapped at most people for an hour or three after he’d been in, but for some reason he kept coming back. Maybe it was because Dean tip-toed around him, not talking about any of his very Clear And Obvious Issues, and because even Ellen had told him he needed to re-evaluate his choices before she offered him shifts at the Roadhouse, because she loved him, but he needed to know that there were consequences for his actions.

He knows there are consequences. He knows.

Gabriel doesn’t bullshit him, and he doesn’t shy away from talking about everything Sam’s trying to hide away from the rest of the world.

It’s unsettling, but Sam needs it.

There’s the added bonus that Gabriel sometimes talks about his little brother, ‘Cassie.’ Dean won’t say anything about Cas, no matter how obscurely Sam words it. And Sam can tell that Dean is having Clear And Obvious Issues because of Cas, as well. Sam can tell because of the bottles on the kitchen table and how Dean won’t talk about him, no matter how Sam approaches it.

Gee, how well do they fit as a family?

Gabriel hints at Cas every now and then, starting a story with “…Well Cas thought it’d be a great idea to…” or “…So I’m living with my brother, and the shit I have to put up with sometimes, let me tell you. Like yesterday, when…”

Sam learns more about Cas through these often one sided conversations. As the weeks turn into months, he grudgingly admits that the coffee at _Loki’s Luck_ might be pretty damn good, but it’s Gabriel he goes back for. He wonders, sometimes, if Gabriel sees him as anything more than another customer; but he does come in every other day, and those times when he sits and stays inside the café for longer than it takes to order (he swears that it’s just for the WiFi), Gabriel’s remarks to other patrons seem witty and sharp, but not as piercing as Sam knows some of his opening topics can be. Although, who knows. Maybe the young woman who came in had a break down later over the washing left out in the rain. Sam isn’t one to judge, but he does seem to feel a recognisable difference between his conversations with Gabriel and the ones he has with others.

It helps. Talking about things helps.

~*~*~*~

**< < i asked Jo today if u were alright and she told me that i should suck it up and talk to u myself (6:39pm)**

**< < ‘get over whatever it was and make up already’ (6:40pm)**

**< < i love her. shes like my baby sister but she doesnt understand (6:42pm)**

**< < that ur stubborn and im not the one who isnt talking (6:43pm)**

**< < i never talk. i dont do relationships (6:45pm)**

**< < made an exception for u tho. still im not sure if i regret it or not (6:55pm)**

~*~*~*~

_July_

He begins to talk back. It’s not much, at first; sometimes just a reply to a question, or an observation of his own. Three months after he’d walked into the café he’s got enough familiarity with both the café and Gabriel to notice that something’s off.

Gabriel greets him with a terse nod and “Sam,” before making his coffee.

“Something up?” Sam asks, trying to make the question mild. There isn’t anyone else inside the café, and Gabriel is alone behind the counter. “Where’s Kali?”

“Sick,” Gabriel tells him, but there’s something in the cadence of his voice that doesn’t belong there. The one word reply unsettles Sam even further.

“You wanna talk about anything?” He offers slowly, looking at the back wall of the café.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Gabriel says. “Just… family issues.”

“Cas being a pain again?” Sam asks, just to rule out one of his many siblings. He thinks there’s got to be at least seven or eight of them, by the way Gabriel talks sometimes.

“Castiel is fine,” he sighs. “It’s my… older brothers. Nothing out of the ordinary for them, but they’re starting to get on everyone’s nerves.”

“What are they doing?” Sam asks, looking at Gabriel in time to catch his expression shift from worry to fear to neutral.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” Gabriel repeats again. Sam frowns but accepts the coffee that Gabriel offers him. Gabriel waves away his money when Sam tries to pay. “No charge for today, Sam. You’re a good customer, a good friend.” He takes a breath in and exhales slowly.

“Gabe?” Sam asks slowly. It’s the first time he’s used the shortened version of his name out loud, and Gabriel jumps slightly at it. “Are you sure that everything’s alright?”

“Yeah, Sam,” Gabriel says softly. “I think so. I hope so.”

But he says it like someone who needs something to be true, and it makes Sam uneasy.

“You know you can talk to me about it, right? I’d like to think that we have more than a coffee drinker slash coffee supplier relationship.”

“You’re a good person, Sam,” Gabriel tells him, and that shakes something in his core. He can’t remember the last time someone called him a good person. “Misguided, made some bad choices, perhaps. But good. That’s why you need to not ask if things are alright Sam. You don’t need to be caught up in my shitstorm. I wouldn’t forgive myself for making things harder on you than they need to be.”

Sam frowns at him, but before he can say anything there’s a soft chiming from Gabriel’s pocket. He digs his phone out, and Sam literally sees the blood drain from his face as he reads the contact name.

Shaking, he brings the phone to his ear. “Michael?” He whispers lowly. Sam watches in confusion.

Somehow, Gabriel’s face gets paler as he listens to whoever is on the other end of the phone. “You did _what?_ ” He hisses. Sam sees his hand tighten on the phone and fury start to gather behind his eyes.

He carefully places the phone down on the counter, undoes the apron from around his waist, and starts to march out of the café.

“Whoa,” Sam says, following him and leaving his coffee on the counter. “Gabriel, what –”

“You need to leave, Sam,” Gabriel says firmly. The soft chime of the door opening goes off as Sam follows him outside. “It’s not safe.”

“What do you mean it’s not safe –” Sam tries to ask, but that’s about the same moment as the car opposite the café opens fire.

Sam doesn’t realise that they’re being shot at, at first. He’s heard guns being fired in the States, sure, but they were just handguns. He hears the glass window behind them shatter, feels it as something splashes onto his face and something red flies across his vision. Gabriel has already started to crumple to the ground by the time Sam realises that he needs to throw himself to the floor to escape the deadly shower.

He feels something nick his thigh (a bullet, some calm part of his brain tells him unhelpfully) but it’s only small and sharp.

The one that goes through his arm hurts a hell of a lot more. Then something hits the back of his head, and it becomes a lot harder to think.

Sam lies on the ground unthinking for a long time. He hears the screech of tires on asphalt, someone’s scream, glass falling and shattering. He moves his head slightly, feeling as if the movement is too hard, his head too heavy. There are people moving in the background in slow motion (or are they moving faster than normal? He isn’t bothered enough to figure it out) and Gabriel stands out in sharp relief in the foreground. His eyes are fluttering between open and shut, and he’s pressing his hands against the bright red wound in his stomach.

_Oh_ , Sam thinks rather giddily. _Blood. That’s blood. Gabriel is covered in blood. I am covered in blood. The pavement is also covered in blood. I wonder if Gabriel’s insurance covers shootings._

Then there’s a figure crouched over Sam. Sam narrows his eyes until they focus, and Jody is suddenly looming above him, talking into a phone while asking Sam if he’s alright. At least, that’s what he thinks she’s asking. He tries to nod, and is pleased when his head moves slightly. He rolls his eyes in Gabriel’s direction, trying to get her to look over there. Jody is apparently satisfied that Sam isn’t going to bleed out in the next few minutes, because she moves over to Gabriel, and is then yelling (Sam can hear the loudness of her voice, but he cannot make out any of her words) for help (he assumes) while she presses down on the wound in Gabriel’s stomach.

Sam closes his eyes and lets it all slip away.

~*~*~*~

**> > I’m sorry. (5:59am)**

~*~*~*~

Dean gets the call just after he’s come back in from an early morning patrol. He’s just dumped the keys to the buggy in the communal bowl when he feels his phone buzzing. For a moment his heart jumps a little in his chest; Cas had texted him back for the first time in two months this morning, and he hadn’t had the guts to reply yet.

He fishes it out of his pocket, only to find **Jody** staring back at him. Slightly puzzled (and trying not to be disappointed), he answers.

“Hey Jody, what’s –”

“Dean, where are you?” Jody gasps.

“At work, why –”

“There was a shooting. In Cowes.”

“What?” Dean asks, startled.

“At your boy’s brother’s café, um, _Loki’s Latte_ or something.”

“Is anyone hurt?” Dean asks, ignoring the squeeze of his heart at the mention of Cas.

“Yeah. Gabriel Novak took two bullets, one to the stomach and one to the thigh, but Dean, Sam was here. He’s being treated for concussion and he was shot as well.”

Dean feels an icy hand come up to grip his throat, and for a moment he can’t breathe, let alone say anything.

“Is he okay?” He finally manages to gasp. _Why does this always happen to him is Sam hurt is he going to leave as well he can’t do this not to Dean not when they’re finally alright with each other again he can’t be alone please don’t leave please please please –_

“He’s in surgery, getting a bullet taken out of his arm, but the doctors are saying that he’s going to live. I’ve been running around like a chicken without its head trying to figure out what happened, and this is the first moment I’ve had to call.”

“I’m on my way, Jody,” Dean promises. He goes over to the TV in the corner of the room, turns it on and flicks the channel to ABC 24. Predictably, the woman on screen is talking about the attack in Cowes, _Breaking News_ running across the bottom of the screen.

_“Could it be terror related, Marius?”_

_“There’s certainly an argument for that, Zowee. We have to remember that the police are withholding evidence, and there may be more information that they have that does lead in this direction. For viewers that have just joined us, we’re reporting on a shooting that happened just south of Melbourne, on Phillip Island. A drive by shooting occurred at approximately ten thirty this morning, resulting in two injured men, both of whom are in surgery now. Their identities are being protected, in case this was not a random attack….”_

Dean turns away from the TV and the crowd that it’s attracted. He knows what happened, and it’s what they’re not reporting on that has him terrified.

_Where’s Cas?_

~*~*~*~

**< < Cas where are you (11:54am)**

**< < im being serious where the fuck are you (11:55am)**

**< < did you see the news (11:55am)**

**< < jody called me and sadi that its gabriel and sam (11:55am)**

**< < please pick up your phone (12:01pm)**

**< < please be safe god please tell me that you just havent picked up ur phone (12:02pm)**

**< < Jo said u didnt come into work (12:09pm)**

**< < fuck dont tell me that your crazy brothers picked u up and organised a hit on Gabriel (12:10pm)**

**< < i feel ridiculous even writing that (12:10pm)**

**< < just be ok (12:11pm)**

~*~*~*~

Castiel starts the day normally. He gets dressed, eats breakfast, and heads out to his car so he can drive down to the Clinic.

He’s out just as the sun is rising, and he takes a moment to admire the view, and the deep red clouds on the horizon. The sky is stained a blood red as well, the clouds highlighting the view.

_I hope that’s not a sign of things to come,_ he thinks to himself as he grabs his keys to unlock the car.

Of course just as he’s thinks that, he’s jumped, a cloth pressed to his mouth and handcuffs clipped around one wrist.

To the detriment of his would-be captors, Castiel has been in situations similar to this before (some were just training exercises that Michael put him through – another was a real attack, when he was fifteen years old. He doesn’t want to know what might have happened to him if he hadn’t wriggled free of those men). He stops breathing the second something touches his face, and tries to elbow his attacker while stomping down on his foot.

Of course, with Michael being in charge of his training, he’d know how to get around it as well.

He hears the man holding him grunt with pain, but he doesn’t let Castiel go. Another one appears in his vision, and grabs his arm, holding it steady for the needle that finds its way under his skin.

_Of course, the chloroform was a distraction,_ Castiel thinks somewhat hazily as the world darkens around him.

~*~*~*~

**< < thye must have taken ur phone (12:12pm)**

**< < if ur reading this then im going ot find him. dont u lay a single fucking hand on him (12:13pm)**

~*~*~*~

He wakes up slowly.

At first it’s the handcuffs around his wrists. The coldness of them has created bands around his arms that he can’t feel because they’re numb. Then there’s the smell. Anti-septic, the type that you can only find in hospitals, just covering disease and death with forced neutrality.

He knows he isn’t in a hospital, so he opens his eyes, slowly, unwillingly. He isn’t blindfolded, or gagged, just bound. There’s little light in the room that he’s in, but he can still make out a figure a few metres away from him.

“Hello?” He whispers. “Are you awake?”

The figure jolts. “Castiel?”

“Anna?” Castiel whispers, recognising her when she moves slightly, shaking her hair out. “What is going on?”

“I don’t know,” a third voice says. Castiel looks to his other side, just able to make out Samandriel in the murky light. “But I don’t think it’s good. Balthazar is here, as well, but he’s still passed out.”

“Where’s Gabriel?” Castiel asks, squinting into the darkness.

“Not here,” Anna tells him.

There’s a silence after that. Castiel tries to fight off the urge to be sick. If Gabriel isn’t here, with the rest of them… It means one of two things. Either he went back to Michael and Lucifer, willingly, which Castiel knows would never happen, or…

Or he’s no longer in the picture to be dealt with.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Samandriel says, trying to reassure them. Samandriel can say that, but he doesn’t look fine; out of all of them, Castiel would have expected him to be the most put together, since he’d spent more time than any of them in situations like this. But seeing the thinly veiled fear in his brother’s eyes is reminding him that spending more time in situations like this could also mean that Samandriel is currently trying to not break down. After all, he’d thought that he’d gotten out of the type of life where this happened to him – Castiel wouldn’t blame him if he’s only just holding it together.

There’s a long silence after that. Castiel tests the handcuffs around his wrists, but they’re not going anywhere. The chain between them is threaded through a metal loop that is anchored in the concrete that he’s sitting on.

No one comes in, and there’s no sound besides the occasional _drip, drip,_ somewhere in the distance.

“This is a pretty shit way of treating us if they’re still hoping to have us back,” Anna mutters, probably an hour after Castiel woke up. His sister is breathing steadily in the way that lets Castiel know that she’s carefully controlling each and every breath. Anna only usually does it when she’s trying to calm down. Castiel shuffles a bit closer to her to try and provide a bit more comfort – being in a situation like this is probably tripping up Anna’s anxiety.

“Unless they’ve given up on that,” Castiel murmurs quietly. He’s sure that they’re being listened to, whether it be someone else in the room or more likely, a recording device planted somewhere close. “But I don’t think that they’ll leave us here for too long.”

Balthazar stirs awake a short time later. “What?” He slurs, shaking his head back and forth. “Where…”

“We’re here as well,” Samandriel says lowly. “All of us but Gabriel.”

Balthazar grimaces and then turns in a circle. He leans over to grab something and then Castiel watches as he tries to break his handcuffs by awkwardly hammering at them with a rock that he’d found. He’s handling being cooped up just as well as Samandriel is. A few minutes after Balthazar wakes up, the door to the dark room opens.

Castiel winces slightly at the bright light streaming in from outside. The door is shut, and then whoever it is turns the lights on.

Castiel squeezes his eyes shut for a few seconds, getting used to the light before opening them to see who is in the doorway. He’s not really surprised that it’s Michael.

“What did Lucifer do?” Michael tuts. “I told him not to tie you up.”

Michael goes around unlocking the handcuffs that bind all of them, and Castiel wonders if this is another tactics – good cop bad cop, or rather, good brother bad brother. He tries not to tense when Michael approaches Anna. He doesn’t want his brother anywhere near his twin, and he feels his heart beat faster as Michael nonchalantly unlocks Anna’s handcuffs.

“Where’s Gabriel?” Anna asks, lifting her chin defiantly after Michael had freed her and moved onto Castiel.

Michael smiles as he clicks open Castiel’s handcuffs, making Castiel’s shoulders bunch as he shows too much teeth. Michael’s actions aren’t helping his heart rate, and he can feel sweat gathering on his forehead. “He isn’t a worry for you anymore,” Michael says lightly.

“He’s our brother,” Balthazar growls softly, and Michael’s smile turns predatory.

“I’m your brother as well. We shall all get along, because we’re family.”

Castiel exchanges a look with Anna as Michael moves on to Samandriel. Their disappearance can’t have gone unnoticed, not all of them. There would be people looking for them. But if Michael kept them inside this room, away from anyone who might possibly see them and tell someone that they’re here… Michael and Lucifer had been able to hide from the Australian police for half a year now. They are probably being held in the same place where their base of operations are, and that’s probably in the last place that the police are going to look. Castiel takes in a quiet, shuddering breath to try to calm down. Anna grabs his hand and squeezes it tightly before letting go.

“What do you want?” Castiel asks. Michael finishes unlocking Balthazar’s handcuffs and turns to Castiel, a disappointed expression on his face.

“Oh, Castiel. I just want us all to be happy, together. We can support all of you, and you can have anything you want. Just stay here, with us.”

On cue, Lucifer opens the door and walks over to Michael, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Hello there. I hope you all had a nice trip here.” Castiel shifts uneasily at his smile.

“We don’t want to be here, Michael, Lucifer,” Anna says, tilting her chin up. Her words don’t shake, but Castiel can see how her hands tremble as she hides them behind her back. Castiel goes and stands next to her, supporting her silently. “Let us go. We don’t want to have anything to do with you.”

Michael and Lucifer look at her silently, faces matching in their blankness. Castiel shivers at the memories they raise. He’s had too many experiences with Michael and Lucifer’s blankness to think that they’re neutral on a subject. They were always planning something, and they always executed their plans together. It’s one of their greatest strengths.

“We just want us all to be together,” Lucifer says sweetly. “If you won’t co-operate, then we’ll have to keep you here. We don’t want that, of course. It’s the last action that we want to take. Until you all agree to not leave, you are going to stay here, and think about your options. I’m sure that you’ll come to see that there’s only one real option in this scenario. No one knows where you are or where you disappeared to. I made sure that you were all taken in a way that there were no witnesses. You will simply be gone. They cannot track you here, and you cannot leave without going through thirty trained guards ordered to keep you inside.”

Anna steps a bit closer to him. Castiel swallows and looks at her, trying to smile reassuringly.

He’s pretty sure it comes out pained instead.

~*~*~*~

**< < i love you. i couldnt say it before and u deserve more than a text but. fuck. i love you Cas (9:34pm)**

~*~*~*~

Dean paces outside the door to Sam’s hospital room, unable to stand still. Jo is watching him with worry written across her face, and Dean is sure that it isn’t just for Sam. She’s worried about _him_ , even though she shouldn’t be. It’s Sam that got _shot_ , for fuck’s sake.

Gabriel is still in surgery. When Dean asked about him, they said something about patient confidentiality, but Dean had ‘accidentally’ run into one of the nurses, knocking the things in his hands to the ground. Dean had apologised profusely and gotten down on his knees to ‘help’ clean things up, while actually just messing things up more and taking the time to glance over the sheets. He only had only had to scrabble around for a few seconds before coming up with Gabriel’s sheet, and had read as much as possible before handing it back to the harried looking nurse, still apologising.

So he knows that Gabriel is still alive, is still being operated on. Dean isn’t sure if there is anything to be done for a gut shot, but they must be trying really hard to save his life. Dean finds himself hoping that they’ll succeed.

They’d been kicked out of Sam’s room when half a dozen doctors had walked in and started speaking in their doctor language, fussing over Sam, who hadn’t woken up yet. A few had come out of his room, and others had gone in, and it was driving Dean to work a track into the floor outside Sam’s room with his pacing.

“Sit down, Dean,” Jo tells him for the third time. “Pacing isn’t going to help Sam, and you’re getting in the way of other doctors.”

Dean grudgingly sits down next to her, only to start running his hands through his hair repeatedly. Jo sighs quietly next to him, but he needs to do _something_ with his hands. He can’t just sit here while Sam lies in the next room over, broken and bleeding.

There’s a TV on mute in the corner of the corridor, and Dean can see the CCTV footage from the café being played on it. He twists his hands together in his lap, thinking about what he’s going to do next.

Gabriel would know what was going on. He might not know exactly where Cas had been taken, but he would know something. He had told Jody about Cas not picking up his phone and not being at the hospital for Gabriel, and she had told him that someone needed to be gone for forty eight hours before she could do anything at the police station.

Cas cares for Gabriel. Dean is pretty sure that all of Cas’s siblings like Gabriel, and none of them are here. That says more about what is going on than Dean would like to admit.

He just needs to make sure that Sam is okay, find a way to talk to Gabriel and figure out where his crazy brothers, who had been in hiding since they got here, had taken Cas. No big deal.

Okay, it is a big deal. Dean isn’t dumb enough to just go after Michael and Lucifer by himself. But Jody had no people here, and while he was sure that there would be someone around to get Gabriel’s statement, they wouldn’t be asking questions about where he thought they might be hiding out. Dean had to pry that information out of Gabriel himself.

But that couldn’t be done until he was awake, and he wouldn’t wake up until he was out of surgery. Which he wasn’t. So until then, Dean just had to sit and stew in his thoughts.

The doctors eventually started to trickle out of Sam’s room. Dean restrains himself enough to wait for a minute after he’s sure everyone is gone before he quietly walks back inside to sit down again by Sam’s bed.

Jo sits down on the other side of Sam with a soft sigh.

They wait for just under two hours. Jo is doing something on her phone, but Dean is just sitting, watching Sam, so he sees when Sam shifts.

“Sam?” Dean whispers. “You awake?”

Sam blinks slowly a couple of times before turning his head to face Dean.

“Dean?” He asks, voice rough. “What…”

“It’s okay,” Dean tells him. He looks over at Jo. “Go get the nurse, yeah?”

Jo nods, and Dean turns his attention back to Sam. “How are you feeling? What do you remember?”

Sam blinks a few more times and narrows his eyes. “I was at Gabriel’s… there wasn’t anyone else there, which was weird. Gabriel and I were talking, and then his phone rang? I think. And then he started to go outside…” Sam trails off, eyes gaining sharpness and awareness. “Are we in hospital? What happened?”

Dean sighs quietly. “There was a drive by shooting outside Gabriel’s café. You and Gabriel were both shot twice. You in the arm and thigh, Gabriel in the thigh and stomach. You had to go into surgery to get the bullet out of your arm, and last time I checked, Gabriel was still in surgery.”

Sam stares at him for a long moment, and then the door opens and two doctors come in to fuss over Sam for ten minutes. Dean steps back and sits down to let them ask Sam questions, write things down on their clipboards, and do their doctor thing.

Dean slouches down in his chair and tries to appear unobtrusive, so that none of the doctors will ask him to leave. He just wants to stay and watch over Sam.

The doctors eventually leave as quickly as they came in, probably going to go and deal with some other emergency in the sweeping halls of the hospital.

Sam sighs as one last nurse fills out a few more things on his chart at the foot of the bed. Jo had made her way back to the other side of Sam’s bed in her own chair, this time with a bottle of juice in her hands. She had used the break to go and get some refreshments.

She passes Dean the bottle, and Dean sees another one beside her chair. He uncaps it and swallows a mouthful before turning his attention back to his brother.

“You need anything?” Dean asks lowly.

Sam blinks slowly and then shakes his head. “No, I’m fine for the moment, I think.”

“Mr Winchester, they’ll be a tray coming up for lunch, you should eat all of it,” the nurse tells Sam.

“He will,” Dean nods to her. “Do you know what happened to the other drive by victim?” He tries to ask offhandedly, digging a little to see if she’ll give out any information.

“He made it out of surgery a while ago, and is resting now,” she told him as she walks out the door.

It’s more than he’d had a minute ago, and he’ll take it. Gabriel probably isn’t awake yet, so he had time to sit with Sam before he goes to find Cas, wherever he had been taken.

“I’m gonna go check on Gabriel,” Jo says, looking at him as she stands up. He’d shared his suspicions with her, and she had gone by Cas’s house on the way here, to check if he was home. His car is still out the front, and the house is locked up, so Jo had decided that he was right, and that Cas had likely been taken. He hadn’t turned up, and neither had any of his many siblings called asking about Gabriel. Dean is becoming surer as the hours tick by that Cas is somewhere that he doesn’t want to be, and that it probably isn’t pleasant, wherever it is.

Jo would sit outside Gabriel’s room and send him a text when he woke up. Until then, he had Sam all to himself.

“How did this become our lives?” Dean asks, not really expecting Sam to answer.

Sam huffs and leans his head back to look up at the ceiling. “Isn’t that what everybody in this situation asks themselves?”

Dean leans forward to rest his head in his hands. “True.” Sam doesn’t say anything else and Dean sighs. “Sam. You can’t do this to me.”

“Can’t do what?” Sam asks. Dean shifts slightly so he can look at his brother, bandages wrapped around his upper arm.

“Can’t go and get shot and almost die.”

There’s a long pause as Dean looks at Sam and Sam looks at the wall.

“I didn’t mean to get shot,” Sam says, almost surlily. “Just because I was with Gabriel…”

“That isn’t the start of it though,” Dean presses, trying to keep his voice under control as he talks. “You left, Sam. Just packed and left, and didn’t call, didn’t drop a letter, didn’t let me know you hadn’t died in a gutter somewhere. I didn’t know what _country_ you were in, let alone if you were okay or not!”

Sam swallows and looks at him. “It wasn’t my best decision, I admit that.”

“You kept making it, Sam,” Dean says lowly, running a hand through his hair. “You left, and you didn’t talk, and then you left again, and you didn’t talk. What reassurance do I have that you won’t do it again?”

Sam holds out a hand to him and Dean looks at it for a few seconds before he takes it. Sam’s palm is warm against his, and it calms something in him, to know that his brother is okay.

“I’m reassuring you, Dean. I’ve decided that I was a bit of an idiot, and that the choices that I made were not okay and I’m not going to do that again. Even if I travel, I’m going to tell you where I am. I promise.” Sam sighs and quirks a smile at him, but Dean can see something nervous lurking in his eyes as he waits for how Dean will react.

Dean sucks in a breath and tightens his hand on Sam’s. “Thanks,” he says quietly after a minute has passed.

Sam flashes a smile at him. “No problem.”

They sit in quiet, Dean silently basking in the assurances that Sam had given him, until Dean’s phone buzzes on the table next to Sam’s bed.

**> > Gabriels got doctors and nurses coming and going from his room. no police as of yet u were right they rnt really thinking of him as a source (4:56pm)**

“Who is it?” Sam asks him.

“Jo. She thinks that Gabriel’s waking up.”

“It was his family, right? Who shot up the café? He was the target?”

“Yeah, that’s what they’re saying,” Dean tells him. “I’m going to go and visit, make sure he’s fine.”

“Okay,” Sam nods. “Just come back later so that I know he’s okay.”

“Will do,” Dean smiles at Sam as he gathers up his gear. He’ll send Jo back later but as soon as he has what Gabriel is going to tell him, he’s going straight to Jody.

She’s got a few rogue Novaks to clean up.

~*~*~*~

He’s in Gabriel’s room when he wakes up.

“Dean?” Gabriel asks, confused. He looks around the room, and then starts, trying to sit up suddenly.

“Whoa there, cowboy,” Dean says. He puts a hand on Gabriel’s chest to push him gently back down onto the bed.

“I need to leave,” Gabriel says, words slurring together somewhat.

“You can’t walk at the moment with all the drugs they’ve pumped into you,” Dean tells him. “Calm down.”

Gabriel seems to realise that he’s telling the truth, because he grudgingly settles back down.

“Where am I?” Gabriel asks, looking around the room. There had been a few nurses in and out of the room, and Dean thinks that he has a few minutes before another one comes back in and wants to check Gabriel over.

“Hospital,” Dean tells him briskly. “You’ll be fine. Sam is fine, as well. He woke up a few hours ago, before you.”

Gabriel nods, looking relieved. Then he looks at the door.

“Are any of my family here?” He asks the question casually, but Dean can hear something under it.

“No,” Dean tells him. “Just me. Jo’s with Sam.” He takes a deep breath in. “I’m not an idiot, Gabriel. Cas is gone; he’s not at your house, and he didn’t come into work today. I need you to tell me where they’ve taken him.”

“You’ve figured that out, huh?” Gabriel is still looking at the door, as if he could magic up his siblings from wherever they are now and pull them into the room with him. “Maybe you’re not as dumb as you look.”

Dean huffs. “Yeah.”

Gabriel is quiet for a few seconds. “I’ve had a few ideas since I found out they were here. Nothing concrete. I didn’t want to damage my reputation with the police, so I didn’t say anything.”

“Tell me, Gabe.”

Gabriel raises an eyebrow at the nickname, but doesn’t comment on it.

“Why should I tell you? Are you going to charge off there and get yourself killed? Because even though you broke up, I don’t think Cassie would forgive me that.”

“No,” Dean says, teeth grit. “I’m going to tell Jody, who is going to do something about it. I’m not stupid. I know that if they can organise someone to shoot you as you come out of your café and kidnap all of your brothers and sisters, then they have enough firepower at their base to keep me out. I’ll tell the police what you know, because they haven’t worked out yet that talking to you about this is a good idea. Sure, they want to take your statement about your version of events, but only because you were shot at. Not because they think that you might know where your brothers are hiding. Cas and probably your other siblings aren’t even officially missing yet – they have to be gone for forty eight hours, and they’ve been gone for about twelve.”

Gabriel takes a deep breath in. “You’re right.” He leans his head back against the pillows and sighs. “Okay. Do you have something to write with?”

Dean grabs a small notebook out of his pocket that he usually uses for keeping records of where burrows are around the island and flips to a new page. He’s got a small stub of a pencil as well, and he’s ready to write down what Gabe tells him.

Gabriel looks at the notepad and nods slowly.

He tells him.

~*~*~*~

Dean knocks at the door to Jody’s office and waits for the hurried “What?” that comes from inside.

Dean pushes open the door to find Jody hidden behind a veritable mountain of paperwork. She lifts her head and her scowl eases somewhat when she sees who’s knocking on her door.

“Dean,” she says, and Dean can see that she’s trying not to sigh. “I can’t file the paper work for your boy yet. Come back tomorrow and I’ll have a manhunt out for him, but I can’t do anything until then.”

“It’s not about that,” Dean says. “Not directly, at least. I talked to Gabriel. He told me some places where he thinks that Michael and Lucifer might be hiding out.”

Jody stands up abruptly and stares at him with wide eyes. “What? Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“I just came from the hospital,” Dean tells her. “Look, Gabriel said that he didn’t say anything to you because he wasn’t completely sure about these places, but he gave them to me and told me that Michael had called and claimed that he had taken his brothers and sister. They did the hit on Gabriel and Sam, as well.”

“Well, I’d figured that.” Jody is typing away furiously on her computer, a concentrated look on her face. “Now, tell me about where they might be?”

Dean lists the four locations that Gabriel had given him, and Jody calls in what looks like every police officer on the island as she debriefs them on the situation. Dean knows most of them, and they all nod or look at him worriedly. The community on the island is tight, and they all want to catch the person who disrupted the peace that they work so very hard for, even those that don’t know Dean personally.

“We’re teaming up with the Melbourne police force on this one,” Jody was saying. If, technically, Dean should have left way before this meeting had started, well, everyone was just tactfully not looking at the corner where Dean was sitting.

**< < jodys got things going on thid end. hows sam and gabe?? (11:55pm)**

**> > Yeah fine. Sams complaining about the beds here being too small and gabriel isnt saying anything at all. I’m worried about him. (11:59pm)**

**> > Ur stories always made him sounds upbeat and obscenely chatty. (12:01am)**

**< < samll be fine. gabes worried about his family. i know how that feels (12:03am)**

**> > Do you know if its going to go down today?? Tngiht?? W/e. When??? (12:07am)**

**< < theres like 50 cops here idk if its going to get organised so quick (12:09am)**

**> > Ugh. I want cas back like yesterday. (12:10am)**

Dean could relate to that.

~*~*~*~

Anna’s hand is warm against his palm. Castiel has his eyes closed and is trying to ignore the urge to tap his foot against the ground. After Michael had untied them, the duo had left. They’d been given several meals, which Castiel had reluctantly eaten. Anna had as well, when she’d seen him eating, but Samandriel had only picked at the food and Balthazar had refused to eat anything. Castiel thinks that it’s probably been over a day, but the time in here seems to drag, and he’s not sure if he’s been overestimating because he’s so bored.

It’s strange, the boredom. If anyone had posed this situation to Castiel a week before, he would have said that he would be tense and alert until the situation was over. But nothing had happened besides a shift change in the last few hours, and the silence in the room is beginning to wear at him.

There’s a single man by the door, who constantly watches them. Castiel can feel his eyes on him every time he moves at all, and it freaks him out. He takes a deep breath in and tries to relax. Castiel thinks that there are another few men on the other side of the door, since he can see a radio on his hip, opposite the gun that sits solidly in its holster, gleaming black in the low light.

He’s been staring at the gun for the last few hours.

He’s not stupid. Gabriel was the best at shooting, out of all of them. But Anna had always been a close second, and they are the ones sitting closest to the guard.

He just had to figure out a plan with Anna; his sister isn’t an idiot. She must have seen the gun, and she must be thinking something along the same lines as him. They’d always thought alike, when it came to their brothers. They could do this, together. He tries to ignore the tiny voice in the back of his head that’s telling him that this is a bad idea, and that he always takes unreasonable risks when he’s stressed that he would never consider under normal circumstances. He breathes in and tells himself that these are not normal circumstances. They had to get out of here, and that is the only way that Castiel can think of.

But they need a distraction. Castiel looks at Balthazar and Samandriel out of the corner of his eye, keeping it discreet. Balthazar is looking at him, his last untouched meal in front of him.

Untouched meal.

Castiel bites his lip as an idea forms in his mind. Balthazar is the furthest away from the door. Samandriel is the next to Balthazar, where he could stick out a foot to trip him… Balthazar could grab his radio and try to stop him while Samandriel, Castiel and Anna grabbed him and tied him up in the cuffs that are still where Michael had dropped them…

Castiel grits his teeth. It’s flimsy, and they would still have to deal with the people outside the door, and they had no idea where they were, or how many people are in the building…

Now, he just had to figure out how to communicate the plan to the others. They’d all have to work as one, or they’d never have a chance. He had an advantage – they would all be thinking about getting out.

He squeezes Anna’s hand until she shifts to look at him. Castiel twitches an eyebrow and then looks towards the guard. Anna lowers her eyebrows and looks towards the guard without turning her head. Castiel makes the classic gun shape with his left hand, thumb up and pointer finger out, hiding it with his body. Anna looks down at it and then her eyes flash to the guard again. She shakes her head, a tiny negative – she thinks it’s a bad idea.

Castiel stares at her fiercely and nods slightly. Anna scowls at him.

Balthazar clears his throat and Castiel tries to look at him subtly. Samandriel and Balthazar are staring at them. Balthazar’s eyes are alight while Samandriel looks more cautious, but both look willing enough to make trouble.

“Hey Balthazar,” Castiel calls. Anna looks like she’s about to hit him, but then she sighs and her eyes take on a calculating glint. Castiel has to stop himself from grinning. She’s in.

Balthazar is looking at him expectantly, and he can feel the weight of the guards gaze on them all.

“Remember that time when I was in third grade and you tripped over the seat in front of my classroom after school? Broke your arm doing it and everything. Samandriel had to hold your hand in the hospital to keep you from screaming because we had to wait for someone to set it.”

Balthazar narrowed his eyes, obviously trying to recall such an incident when none had ever happened. Samandriel caught on faster; his face smoothed over, and he nodded.

“Yes, I remember. Balthazar wouldn’t eat any of the hospital food, and demanded better. _Remember_ , Balthazar?”

“Hmm,” Balthazar says. “I see.”

There was a few minutes of silence and Castiel kept looking at the ground, hoping that everyone had an idea of what was going on. It had to be before the shift change; Castiel was sure that this guard would tell the others about their exchange, if they didn’t know already.

An hour ticked by, and then two. The guard was just getting restless when Balthazar stirred.

“Hey, you,” Balthazar calls out. The guard looks at him sharply, but doesn’t say anything. “Hey, can I have some, you know, _actual_ food?”

“There’s food there if you want it.” The tone isn’t dismissive, but he doesn’t give any room either. He isn’t going to budge.

“Hey, it’s not _good_ enough.” Balthazar’s voice takes on a whining edge, and Castiel winces. He recognises it from when he was younger – Balthazar could get anyone to do what he wanted, if he annoyed them enough.

“It’s good enough,” the guard replies. He’s looking straight ahead, but Castiel can see that his jaw is clenched already. He resists the urge to laugh. If he’s annoyed already, he wouldn’t stand a chance against Balthazar.

“Not for _me_ ,” Balthazar says, sighing loudly. “Come on, I bet you get better food than this. Can’t I have some of that?”

“Look, you get what you’re given, and I don’t have any say over that,” the guard snaps.

“Come _on_ ,” Balthazar implores. “Please?”

The guard walks over to Balthazar and Castiel felt Anna hold her breath beside him.

Samandriel flashes his foot out and the guard trips. Balthazar punches him as he falls, and Castiel hears the wind rush out of him. Castiel and Anna jump on him as soon as Samandriel trips him, Anna ripping the gun from the holster on his belt as his hand tries to reach for it. Castiel shoves the piece of his shirt he’d ripped off into his mouth to act as a gag.

Balthazar punches him again, this time in the head, and Samandriel grabs one of his hands and bends back the first two fingers. Anna takes a step back and unclicks the safety, staring coldly at the guard as Castiel and Samandriel clip the discarded handcuffs around his wrists and ankles, and Balthazar tears a longer strip off his shirt so he can tie it around the guards head to secure the gag.

They all step back and Castiel smiles as the guard squirms in confusion.

All four of them gather between the doorway and their new prisoner huddling together tightly.

“There’s going to be more outside,” Anna said, looking at the doorway.

“It we can even get outside. It’s probably locked,” Samandriel mutters.

They all look at the door. “Well, there’s only one way to find out,” Castiel says, trying to sound positive.

Anna crosses the room and turns the handle of the door slowly. It clicks open.

“Don’t you love it when everything turns out well,” Balthazar says.

There’s the sound of a gun firing from outside. Balthazar lunges forward to close the door. Castiel stares at Anna as the sound of a firefight gets louder and louder. Castiel steps away from the door and his siblings follow him to the corner of the room, where they stare at the door and each other.

“It’s got to be someone coming in,” Samandriel says lowly.

“No, because most of the time you welcome guests with _bullet holes_ ,” Balthazar says scathingly.

“Be quiet,” Anna whispers. “It probably has nothing to do with us. Who knows how many people are unhappy with the Angel Brothers making a new home here?”

“True,” Castiel replies. “We should use the chaos as a distraction and leave.”

“And get caught in the middle of a firefight?” Balthazar hisses. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“Balthazar is right,” Samandriel adds. “Look, this isn’t going to go unnoticed. Someone will report it.”

“And what happens when they move us somewhere else?” Anna asks. “I agree with Castiel. We need to move, now.”

Castiel looks at the door as Anna and Samandriel start to argue.

“Look, we need to choose,” Castiel tells them all. “We can’t just stand here.”

“We won’t get another chance like this,” Anna says earnestly. “We need to take it.”

Balthazar bites his lip and then nods hesitantly. Samandriel looks between them and sighs.

“Alright. What the hell. Everyone stay close, and do _not_ get separated. We need to get out of here together. Just some of us aren’t enough.”

Castiel nods. “Anna, you go first. Everyone else, just follow closely.”

Anna nods and takes a breath. “Okay. Stay close.”

Castiel follows her as she opens the door again. Anna slips outside and Castiel follows her, keeping his eyes open for any movement. They move down the corridor in a single line, Castiel stepping where Anna does. The gunfire in the background doesn’t slow as they steal down darkened passages.

Castiel narrows his eyes when he hears a shout, but the words of it are too low and distorted for him to make out.

“What was that?” Samandriel hisses.

“Shh!” Balthazar bites out.

They go through a few more rooms, Castiel carefully stepping over bodies in some of them. He doesn’t look to see if they’re unconscious or dead, focusing on his sister’s bright red hair instead.

They round a corner and Castiel hears, very clearly, “Clear!”

Anna looks back at him, eyes wide. She lowers the gun in her hand slightly as they round another corner, and come face to face with about twenty police officers suited up in black tactical suits.

There’s a simultaneous shout of “Put your weapon down!” Anna flicks the safety on and drops the gun, putting her hands up. Castiel follows suit, and he closes his eyes as Anna stammers out an explanation.

It’s over. It’s over.

~*~*~*~

_“… infamous crime lords Michael and Lucifer Novak have been arrested this morning when a raid in northern Melbourne proved to be holding both brothers. Official talks between the United States and Australia mean that the infamous ‘Angel Brothers’ are likely to be extradited within twenty-four hours. Responsible for crimes in over –”_

Dean mutes the TV in Gabriel’s room, letting the news run silently. Gabriel is asleep, had been since they had gotten here. The sun is setting, casting a glow over the room.

Cas is sitting next to him in an uncomfortable hospital chair. His eyes don’t stray from Gabriel – they haven’t since they entered the room. Balthazar, Samandriel and Anna had been in here for half an hour before the nurses had ushered them out. Dean and Cas had sat silently outside while they had been inside, and now it was their turn.

“So, it’s all over then?” Dean asks lowly. “No crazy brothers hanging around anymore?”

“Well, you still have to put up with Gabriel,” Cas tries to joke, but it falls flat in the staleness of the room. “If he wakes up,” Cas continues, a lot lower.

“He was up and talking before,” Dean tells him. “Don’t worry. I’m sure that he’ll wake up soon and start being his annoying self again soon enough.”

Cas’s face is blank as he stares at his brother, but Dean knows him well enough now to tell that he’s feeling guilty about what happened. “Gabriel… and Sam…”

“Hey.” Dean puts his hand on Cas’s shoulder, and he imagines that he can almost feel the feathers under his palm. “It was Lucifer and Michael’s fault. Not yours. And they’re gone now. You’ll never have to worry about them ever again.”

Cas lets out a shuddering breath and when he speaks next, his voice is shaky. “Why, Dean? Why are you still here?”

Dean doesn’t reply for a long moment, staring out the window at the sunset. He slowly reaches down and takes Cas’s hand in his, interlocking their fingers. Cas sucks in a shuddering breath and Dean can tell how close he is to cracking.

“You never wanted to break up with me, Cas. You just did it out of misplaced protectiveness – you wanted to stop me from getting hurt.”

“That didn’t help Sam. Or Gabriel,” Cas mutters. Dean squeezes his hand.

“Exactly. Cas, it was never going to work. Even Gabriel knew it; why else would he build up a relationship with Sam, when he knew who he was?”

Dean turned his head so that he could watch Cas’s face. Cas is staring at Gabriel, face blank but eyes clouded with emotion.

“But I had to protect you,” Cas says lowly. “It was _my_ fault that you got hurt. I should have –”

“Hey. Don’t say stuff like that.”

Cas flinches and turns his head. Dean looks at him searchingly. “Cas. You can’t blame yourself for this. Like I said, it was Lucifer and Michael’s fault.”

“I had to do _something_ ,” Cas hisses. “I…”

Dean sighs and leans over to wrap an arm around Cas. “You should have _talked_ to me, damnit,” he says.  

“Yeah.” Cas mutters.

They sit like that for a while, Dean’s arm around Cas, Cas leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder. Dean watches the sun slowly sink, casting a glow over everything in the room.

“Looks like we’re in for some good weather,” Dean comments, taking in the vibrant red sky over the sea.

Cas moves his head slightly, turning to look out the window. “What do you mean?”

Dean nods at the red sunset.

“Red sky at morning, sailor’s warning. Red sky at night, sailor’s delight.”

“I’m not sure that that’s a good way to predict the weather,” Cas murmurs, but he’s looking out the window as well, an introspective expression on his face.

“Despite all of what just happened,” Dean says, waving his hand around to indicate the craziness of the last few days, weeks, months. “I think we’re in for some good weather ahead.”

Cas smiles at him, and Dean feels a warm glow start up in his chest.

Some good weather ahead, indeed.

 


End file.
